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Manchester Evening News
Manchester Evening News
National
Helen Johnson

A mother whose son took his own life is urging other struggling young men to talk about their mental health

A mum whose son took his own life has urged other young men to talk about their mental health, following an inquest into his death. 

Dad-of-one Matthew Oliver, 28, was found hanged at his home in Wythenshawe last summer by his partner Lauren Clarke.

At a hearing on Tuesday, Ms Clarke told Manchester Coroner's Court that the experience of finding Matthew dead was 'a nightmare'.

And following the hearing, Matthew's mum Dawn Ockerby said she wanted other young men to know that it is okay not to be okay, and urged them to talk to someone.

She said: "Suicide is a permanent solution to minor problems. I have lost my world."

Meanwhile, Nigel Meadows, the senior coroner for Manchester, suggested that if people who take their own lives understood the impact it had on their families, they might have 'stopped and thought a bit more about their actions'.

Both Ms Clarke and Mrs Ockerby were called to give evidence at the inquest into Matthew's death on Tuesday.

Matthew Oliver (Dawn Ockerby)

Although they gave slightly different accounts of their understanding of the events that occurred in the hours before Matthew died, it was not disputed that the couple had had a disagreement ahead of a barbecue in July 2018.

Ms Clarke told the court that Matthew had 'raised a hand' to her and tried to grab her phone because he wanted to talk to her.

She later told the court that this had prompted her to throw her engagement ring at him and say their relationship was over.

She told the hearing she wouldn't talk to him because she didn't want to have an argument, and that Matthew went outside to sit in his car. 

Ms Clarke then phoned Mrs Ockerby, who also called her son from another phone so they could have a three-way conversation about the disagreement.

In her evidence, Mrs Ockerby said her son was locked out of the house, but Ms Clarke said he left of his own accord to calm down.

Ms Clarke said Matthew came back inside at about 10pm, and they sat together on the sofa before she went to bed, although the pair continued to send each other messages until she went to sleep at about 1.30am.

The last time she saw him alive he was standing outside having a cigarette, holding a bottle of vodka.

When she woke up the following morning, she was surprised to see his car was still outside, as he was due to start work.

When she went downstairs, she found Matthew and immediately called his mum, telling her she feared he had killed himself.

She then phoned 999. Paramedics arrived at the house around ten minutes later, but Matthew had already died.  

Matthew Oliver, 28, was found hanged at his home in Wythenshawe last July (Dawn Ockerby)

Tests revealed that Matthew had a very moderate amount of alcohol in his body when he died, but nowhere near enough to have affected his judgement.

The inquest heard how in 2012 he was prescribed anti-depressants when his late father and his mother Dawn were both diagnosed with cancer. His dad passed away. Matthew never took the pills, the coroner was told.

Read more of today's stories here

Mr Meadows was satisfied on the evidence that Matthew intended to take his own life and returned a conclusion of suicide.

The coroner told the hearing: "If an individual who kills themselves had a better understanding of the way their actions would affect someone else's life, they probably would have stopped and thought a bit more about their actions, as it has a lasting effect on family and friends.

"A bereavement is an ongoing process for everyone, time makes it a lot easier to bear, but it never goes away." 

Speaking after the hearing, Matthew's mum Dawn told the Manchester Evening News that she hoped to set up a foundation in her son's name, to encourage other men to speak about their mental health.      

She also paid tribute to her only son, who worked as a logistics manager. 

She added: "He was so funny, everybody loved him, they really did.

"His friends come to visit his grave every week.

"He was just very, very loved."

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