It's not widely known that Ambridge is twinned with Camelot and shares the same weather system. As King Arthur sang:
"July and August cannot be too hot
And there's a legal limit to the snow here
In Camelot."
Which is why, when the rest of us were chest-high in chinstrap penguins, Ambridge seemed to be living in its own blissful little bubble. Like a snow globe with the snow falling outside. Apart from Ed's cow coming a cropper at Christmas ("Hoist her up on a bit of tarpaulin! I'll support her back end!"), there has been no suggestion that it was even slightly slippery underfoot.
This week, winter finally arrived in Ambridge with snow on its boots. If you looked closely, you could see where fresh stuff had been cunningly inserted – rather like spotting a celebrity's toupee. Lynda Snell, for instance, abandoned her search for brown hairstreak butterfly eggs ("It's impossible to see the little white dots in all this snow").
Even in Camelot there were shenan-igans, encouraged no doubt by the balmy weather, and Leon has been working his way through the female population like a combine harvester. Views on Leon vary from "I'm a cute Aussie" (Leon him- self) to "The man's a rat!" (Pat). "Flash as a rat with a gold tooth," as Australian politicians are apt to say, which must make parliamentary sketchwriting particularly entertaining Down Under.
Helen, arriving at Leon's cocktail bar with a sensitively chosen Christmas gift of aromatherapy oils, found Leon wrapped around Leanne ("He's kissing that girl with no skirt!"). Furious, she pushed Leon's mobile into Leanne's flaming sambuca, which is not as rude as it sounds. And now Annette, her teenage ward, is pregnant.
"What a happy new year this is going to be for all of us!" (Jenny).
On a rosier note, Matt is proving a model prisoner, teaching reading, writing and financial planning to the other convicts. Matt is inside for fraud.
