And so Kate returned to Ambridge for the new university term. Her luggage was stuffed with vuvuzelas, every parent's dream present for their child. Soon, Phoebe and Ruairi were making a noise almost as annoying as Kate herself. To celebrate her own birthday and the general fabulousness of her being back, Kate took Phoebe out of school without Roy and Hayley's permission. Peggy wasn't first in the queue to give Kate a dressing down, but hers was exquisite. "I'm her real mother," Kate whined. "Only when it suits you, dear," Peggy came back, quick as a flash.
Kathy and Kenton finally called it a day. She found out that he'd had a one night stand with one of his customers after he told Nigel all about it ("boy, does she know some tricks in the bedroom!") and he mentioned it to Elizabeth. Oops. Jamie, already regularly in his cups in the hide, took things further, trashing the place, bunking off school and gate-crashing the young farmers' barn dance. Things got so bad that Pip had to tear David away from a repeat of Location, Location, Location to sort things out.
There was a similarly riotous atmosphere in The Bull, where Jim was in charge of the pub quiz. Eschewing a "We Love The Bull" T-shirt ("I'm not really the T-shirt type"), he donned his "lucky bow-tie" and doled out questions of throbbing, thrilling obscurity. One round asked people to translate Latin phrases. Jazzer shouted out jokey possible translations, but nobody could translate his ever-stronger Glaswegian.
Vicky and Ed came to blows when she couldn't sell any veal; Ruth bought a pair of tights so she could wear a dress for once; the Archers clan in Bath for Jill's 80th spotted a sausage ("the Brian Bonanza") that tickled them, and Harry continued to be implausibly nice. On any other soap, he'd turn out to be a psychopath. In Ambridge, I fear, he'll just stay dull.
