Please forgive me. I have done you such a disservice, and all because I am jealous. Last month, you told our mother-in-law that you didn’t think I liked you. At that moment, you were right.
It wasn’t always this way. If I share a little bit about myself, then perhaps you will understand why I suddenly changed into this bitter woman and will forgive me.
I have been off with you lately. I hate myself for it, but I have been unable to stop the emotions crashing inside me. Before you turned up on the scene, I was happy enough in my own skin and thought I was an easygoing, quiet person who mixed well with people.
I didn’t go for glamour, but went more for the rural, practical look that was comfy. When you waltzed into our lives, you were everything I wasn’t, and people’s sly comments soon let me know it and it tore me apart.
You were a decade younger than me, you were vibrant and had a poise and sophistication I could never possess. Everything about you was perfect. You had this air of intelligence and confidence, and envy clawed away inside me.
Everyone wanted to be with this young, trendy woman who had allowed my brother-in-law to heal after his broken heart.
I have always been calm, but suddenly I was pushed aside. All anyone ever did was talk about you. It was the same with men. Every man who saw you was practically drooling over you.
Oh, how the family loved telling me how wonderful you were. Feelings of being pushed aside broke my heart. My confidence began to shrink; you were all anyone ever talked about – your job, what you looked like. People respected you, devouring every opinion you had. I am the quiet one and suddenly I was stifled, so pale and insignificant next to you.
The more I began to feel insecure and voiceless, the more my insecurities took over. I dreaded every family occasion because you would be there, the shining star once again. For many months I could hide it, but when you told our mother-in-law I didn’t like you, I realised that these emotions had become too toxic to hide and were creeping from my heart into my mouth.
The truth is that I do not dislike you at all. I am a jealous woman who actually admires you. Thank you for mending my brother-in-law’s broken heart. Thank you for making us laugh. You are thoughtful and generous. I would love to have your ability to make a crowded room stand still and the charm that turns heads when you walk into a room, but I wouldn’t be true to myself.
I have since learned that wishing doesn’t make things change. Now, after some time to myself, I am working on this jealousy problem and wish you all the best.
Take care.
Anonymous x
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