Melbourne City: Keep Robbie Koren fit
Who would’ve thunk it? A player who just last season was competently going about his business in the English Premier League marks his starting debut in the A-League by absolutely tearing it to shreds and scoring a hat-trick. Damien Duff has looked good in the opening rounds, but the former West Bromwich Albion and Hull City attacker Robert Koren is the partner he’s been searching for – ie someone who is not Jason Hoffman or David Williams. Sure, beating Newcastle Jets isn’t much to write home about this season, but the manner in which they dismantled Phil Stubbins’s side on Tuesday would have alerted the rest of the competition to their potential. City have steadily found their rhythm after a poor start to the season, and with Aaron Mooy in scintillating form and Josh Kennedy soon to be part of the side, finals football should now be an expectation rather than a distant hope. Unfortunately for coach John van ‘t Schip the Asian Cup break could not have come at a worse time, but with out of form Western Sydney Wanderers and Central Coast Mariners their opponents in the next two rounds, City could rocket up the table in the new year. Just gotta keep Koren in cotton wool.
New South Wales: Don’t sweat the tough times
The home fans greeted their players with a banner that read “Fight Like Your Fans”, and after 94 minutes of absolutely garbage football, Shannon Cole almost came to blows with one of the members of the Red and Black Bloc. Security stopped what might’ve become another Pratten Park incident (surely the best soccer riot this country has seen – word is Terry Antonis’s dad was one of the Sydney Olympic fans rioting that day in 1985). For the Wanderers, this must be rock bottom. Depressingly, two of their new imports, Seyi Adeleke and Vitor Saba, weren’t even named in the squad, an indication that they might be moved along just months after joining the club. The Wanderers’ opponents, Central Coast Mariners, are also in a world of pain. Both clubs went into the match winless after 11 games, a national league milestone according to FFA statistician Andrew Howe. Newcastle Jets, meanwhile, are also in trouble with persistent reports of squad discontent, a coach that looks out of his depth, an owner fast running out of money, and a hasty mid-season review called after yet another embarrassing performance against Melbourne City. FFA won’t be pleased that three of the bottom four clubs are from the most populous state, but at least it can only get better from here. We hope.
Kenny Lowe: Find a new tune
At the press conference after Perth Glory’s game against Melbourne City game last week, Perth coach Kenny Lowe was asked whether he was making too much of the “underdog factor.” “I’m just agreeing with you guys”, he responded, referring to the fact that nobody picked Glory to succeed. “I’ve been saying it for months but you didn’t listen, so now I’ve come to your side and you’re not happy.” The week before the response to an inquiry into their salary cap issues was construed as the east coast media having “nothing else to write about”. Under Lowe it’s Perth Glory against the world, an extension of Western Australia’s morbid fascination with being ignored by the rest of the country. The sad part of all this, of course, is that once upon a time Perth Glory would look down on everyone from a great height and sneer. They were the big boys, everybody else wanted to be like them, and they acted with the appropriate chutzpah. Now, they’re constantly whining about not being respected by the people “over east”. Whether by hook or by crook, Perth Glory are top of the table. Time for them to act like it.
Australia: Don’t embarrass ourselves at the Asian Cup
Tuesday night’s matches at Hunter Stadium in Newcastle and Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane were a worry. Both playing surfaces do not look up to standard, particularly the latter, which is thinning worse than Frans Thijssen’s hairline and riddled with unsightly patches and clumps. Hunter Stadium has been a headache for a while, although the playing surface has been recently upgraded, while Suncorp Stadium needs rapid improvement. The teams are arriving – Iran had to stop in Melbourne in the early hours of Wednesday morning after failing to beat Sydney Airport’s provincial ‘late night curfew’ – and soon the biggest football tournament in Australia’s history will be underway. Japan, for example, are playing in both Newcastle and Brisbane in the group stage, and are accustomed to carpet-like surfaces. You have to wonder what they’ll make of the decaying facilities at Hunter Stadium, or the potato field that is Suncorp Stadium. Hey, at least we’ve got a few new covered benches. That’s a thing.
A-League fans: Know when to call it a night
Over the past decade, there have been some entertaining matches between Sydney FC and Brisbane Roar. Like that time a couple of seasons back when Besart Berisha scored a late winner for Brisbane, stripped down, and encouraged Pascal Bosschaart to take things outside. The Tuesday night game, however, was not one for the scrapbook. In fact it was one of the worst A-League games in living memory. Perhaps it was the humidity or the horrid state of the pitch, but even that, if we are honest, cannot excuse the mindless thrashing about from both sides. It was almost comical in parts as players repeatedly failed to control the most straightforward of passes, determinedly slogged the ball into the stands and tripped over their own feet. There are occasions when a 0-0 draw can be entertaining. Not this time.
But there was to be no mercy. The New Year’s Day fixture between Central Coast Mariners and Western Sydney Wanderers was yet another drip on the collective forehead of fans in the water torture that is the A-League’s 10th season. The first half was boring enough to bring one to mild self harm, and more than a few fans at Parramatta Sadium would’ve been hoping for one of the contestants to choke and die during Primo’s promotional halftime hot dog eating contest, if only to keep them entertained. There’s something about this time of year – what with Christmas family reunions, New Years resolutions and all the rest – that makes you question the state of your soul, the world around you and the meaning of life. Is this particular cut of jeans still appropriate for my age bracket and my expanding waistline? Should I spend less time on the internet? Is now a good time to invest in shares on the stock market? Should I quit my job and help build schools for underprivileged children in Africa? Is there a God, and if so, which one should I submit myself to? And perhaps most importantly for us A-League fans, why have I been wasting my life watching shit football?
