A is for apathy (among Labour voters).
B is for bold, as in bold leadership, which will require removing the other B, Brown. B is also for borrowing (lots of). And B is also for banana, which David Miliband was photographed holding.
C is for Cameron (no comment needed) as well as conference, which is how speakers address the hall. Also choice (which is much too Blairite).
D is for David, the first name of Britain's next prime minister and also depressed, the mood of the party. See also death (of Labour, potential).
E is for Ed, as in Balls, who is still loyal, and the other Miliband, the one everyone likes .
F is for the future, which Labour must own.
G is for Gordon, the folksy way of referring to the prime minister in speeches (as in "Gordon stands for fairness"). G is also for geek (see Miliband).
H is for Heseltine moment, which Miliband fears. Also hard-working families (the only sort).
I is for inclusive (which the Tories are not).
J is for justice (see fairness).
K is for Keynes, who is back in fashion.
L is for Labour (old), also back, without the new as well as leadership, as in question. L is also for light touch and limited regulation (which Gordon used to like).
M is for measures (as in tough ones that are needed).
N is for now, as in now is the time, to act as, well as nationalisation, which everyone can talk about now.
O is for opportunism, which is what the Tories do, and also opportunity society, which Tony Blair wanted but Gordon does not.
P is for prudence, which has gone out the window and also personalised services (which Gordon wanted last year but no longer mentions).
Q is for quit, which is what MPs hope Gordon will do.
R is for resign (see quit), also reaching out, responsibility and reform (of the financial markets). It is also for regulation (back in fashion).
S is for stability (which is missing) and also spivs, who run the City and are Tories.
T is for turbulence, which is what the chancellor fears and taxes (which he is going to put up).
V is for vision (which Brown lacks).
W is for whatever and works, which Gordon has promised to try.
X is for X-factor, the thing Gordon lacks. Also excitement (absence of).
Y is for youth, and also Yvette (cabinet minister Cooper).
Z is for zero-tolerance solutions. Also ZZZZzzz... which is what Gordon's speech produces.
