PEARS OFF
A man who can come across as cantankerous, uncooperative, gauche, wantonly aggressive and downright weird, yet simultaneously be successful and popular, is a man the Fiver has to admire. There is an art, we hear, to doing something very right while appearing to get it all wrong, and last season Nigel Pearson was to football management what an angry reincarnation of Les Dawson would be to the piano. So it’s a darn shame that we’ll be denied entertainment like that in the Premier League next season: we can only hope that the job description for the new Leicester City manager includes, in addition to an ability to survive despite an epic winless streak, a knack for escalating innocent collisions into furious throttling and innocent questions into tense and prolonged ostrich-themed interrogations.
That’s right, Pearson has been sacked by Leicester. He was dismissed last night because, incredibly, “the club believes that the working relationship between Nigel and the board is no longer viable.” Since several hours have gone by and the club has not reversed its decision, it looks like this time Pearson may actually have to clear his desk and take all his belongings to the corrugated iron bunker that the Fiver likes to imagine he lives in, surrounded by a large supply of tinned aubergines, two bazookas and a lightly-thumbed compendium of ornithology.
Leicester have so far not been very forthcoming about the reasons for the split, referring only to “fundamental differences of perspective”, which the Fiver had long assumed was a given. Perhaps some deep footballing disagreement suddenly emerged between Pearson and Leicester, but all seemed to be looking up on that front, as earlier this week the club showed its intention to build on last season’s great escape by signing the Japanese international striker Shinji Okazaki.
So in the search for an explanation, minds venture reluctantly back to that despicable film made by three young Leicester players during the club’s goodwill tour to Thailand this summer. All three players, one of whom is Pearson’s son, James, have since been sacked by the club. It is not known at this stage whether that sordid disgrace put intolerable strain on the relationship between Nigel and Leicester’s Thai owners, but it hardly brought them closer. More details will doubtless emerge at some point, but at the moment the end to the essentially good news story of Nigel Pearson at Leicester seems to have been laced with unwelcome nastiness and stupidity, which is sad. We’d almost feel sorry for Pearson Snr if it weren’t for the fact that we know – after he announced it to us all for no particular reason – that he can look after himself.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“We’ve been together here for six weeks now, working and living with the same people, day-in day-out, it’s like being in the Big Brother house” – except, England defender Laura Bassett, for the fact you haven’t been on the front page of The Daily Star every single day. Or, indeed, the back pages.
FIVER LETTERS
“While I applaud the sentiment (Stop Tennis - yesterday’s last line) if this were an interview I’d have to ask what experience you have in successfully stopping sport and what lessons you think you have learned that you would be able to apply in this instance. In my experience sitting there opening and shutting your mouth like a goldfish while thinking ‘oh round spherical objects I did not think that one through’ is not the way to go” – John Stainton.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet the Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is: John Stainton. But only because we’ve rolled over too often.
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BITS AND BOBS
Somehow Stoke have signed Xherdan Shaqiri from Inter. No, us neither.
Radamel Falcao will be the latest expensive adornment to the Chelsea bench/medical dept after completing the formalities of his loan move there.
Nathaniel Clyne has joined the rest of Southampton’s 2013/14 squad at Liverpool.
Petr Cech has branded people who accused him of being a traitor and snake “not true Chelsea fans” following his move from Chelsea to Arsenal. “True fans will appreciate what I’ve done and the legacy I’ve left,” said the turncoat.
Dani Osvaldo’s Southampton contract has been terminated with extreme prejudice.
Brass neck news: Manchester United are holding out for more than the £3.5m that Fenerbahce have offered for Nani, but the winger has agreed personal terms.
Shakhtar Donetsk’s Douglas Costa will now be known as Bayern Munich’s Douglas Costa after being signed for £21.3m.
Jackson Martínez is no doubt set to sign for Chelsea in 2016 after Atlético Madrid agreed to sign him from Porto this season. Meanwhile Chelsea have been offered Arda Turan, largely as a means to stop them from giving Antoine Griezmann the glad eye.
Sylvain Distin, 87, has ridden the Do One Express all the way from Everton to Bournemouth, joining on a one-year deal.
STILL WANT MORE?
David Hytner has been wondering about a lot of things lately. Is it too late to take up cribbage? Is Drake the most over-rated rapper of modern times? And where did it all go wrong with Paulinho at Spurs?
John Ashdown has grown so sick and tired of the Czech beer and the Baroque style architecture of Prague that he decided to stay indoors and pick his team of the European Under-21 Championships.
The Chilean fans think Leo Messi is dead good. Jonathan Wilson reckons they might have a point.
Ever wondered if there are any bands/musicians who have planned tours/dates around football fixtures? Of course you have and thanks to the Knowledge, you have to wonder no more.
Today’s Rumour Mill may be lacking in fibre but it is jam-packed with loads of transfer news that is not in anyway true.
Oscar Wilde would be spinning in his grave if he could hear what Mark Sampson thinks about aesthetics ahead of England’s World Cup semi-final clash with Japan.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Listen to the latest in our Football Weekly presents … series of documentaries:Lutz Pfannenstiel, the global goalkeeper. And suffering from those post-season blues? Get your hands on tickets for an extra special, season previewing, live, on-stage edition of Football Weekly. AC Jimbo, Barry Glendenning, Rafa Honigstein, Paul MacInnes and Gregg Bakowski will be treading the boards in London on Thursday 6 August.
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OF COURSE FIVER TOWERS’ AIR CONDITIONING WENT DOWN TODAY.
