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Benzinga
Benzinga
Adrian Volenik

A Husband Complains His In-Laws Buy His Wife Everything She Wants Despite Their Debt. Dave Ramsey Reminds Him, 'Your Wife Is Not Your Child'

Angry,Couple,Talking,In,Emotional,Conflict,,Arguing,,Shouting.,Annoyed,Worried

A listener named Matthew from Ohio recently wrote into “The Ramsey Show” with a question that had both Dave Ramsey and John Delony raising eyebrows. Matthew and his wife are in their 20s and working through Baby Step 2—paying off debt. But there's a wrinkle: his in-laws, who are themselves deep in debt, frequently buy thy things for his wife when she goes shopping with them. He says she often returns home with items she'd previously hinted about wanting.

The Issue Is Within The Marriage

“Am I wrong to feel as if my in-laws are enabling her to continue bad habits by purchasing what she wants without practicing patience herself?” Matthew asked.

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Delony didn't waste any time addressing what he called the real issue. “I’m hearing a husband that wishes he could buy his wife stuff and he can’t, so he wants to shut the whole thing down,” Delony said. 

However, Ramsey pointed out something deeper: Matthew’s tone sounded more like a parent than a partner. “You’re talking about her like she’s your 17-year-old daughter and she’s developing bad habits hanging out with her mother.”

Ramsey went even further, saying, “Your wife is not your child.”  He stressed that Matthew needs to stop trying to “parent” his wife and instead treat her like an adult partner. “You and your wife need to go visit a place of nobility where the two of you, as two adults, decide what is best for your family.”

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Delony suggested that the gifts from the in-laws might be part of a pattern. “I would be willing to bet money that this is not the only place where, when she doesn’t get what she wants from one place, she’ll go and figure out a way to get it somewhere else.”

Rather than blaming the in-laws or trying to control them, both hosts emphasized that Matthew and his wife need to have an honest conversation about boundaries and money values.

“We are on a plan because we are trying to get out of this,” Ramsey said. “Your mom and dad are screwed up, and we don’t need to add to their debt.”

Ultimately, it seems that the core problem isn't the in-laws’ spending, but the couple’s lack of unity. As Ramsey put it, “You should be able to look at your mom and go, ‘No, I can’t afford this. You can’t afford this. We shouldn’t be doing this.'”

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Image: Shutterstock

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