So the Rugby World Cup, huh? When does all this start?
It’s tonight! Unless you’re reading this a day after I wrote it, in which case you’ve missed the start. Anyway, Fiji v England, at Twickenham, is the first match and it should be a cracker.
Twickenham, eh? Is that why my mate Rupert has been having all his red trousers pressed?
Yep, the tournament is in England and Wales this year. Although it’s not just going to be south-west London. There are games all around the country: Manchester, Cardiff, Birmingham, Newcastle, Brighton, Leeds, Leicester, Gloucester, Exeter and, Milton Keynes all have games too.
Cool. How do I get tickets?
Ha ha ha ha ha. Most of them sold out months ago and you would probably need to remortgage your house to buy one now. On a well-known secondary ticketing agency site, the cheapest for the final I could find was £944.
Oh no, that means I’ll have to watch it down the pub! Given that a pint now costs £8 in my local I can only really afford to watch the best teams. So who’s any good?
Well the All Blacks (New Zealand) are the favourites, as ever. But they’re in (very) slightly dodgy form, a lot of their squad are the wrong side of 30 and they have a tendency to choke in World Cups played away from home. England, Ireland, France, South Africa and Australia will all fancy their chances.
I hope it’s England.
You and a lot of other people. England have a decent chance. Their home record is very good, the head coach, Stuart Lancaster, has built a very united and fired-up team, and they have some genuinely exciting backs to go with a strong pack of forwards. They’re going to play more exciting rugby than we’ve seen in the last couple of World Cups too.
Nothing can stop them!
Whoa, slow down there. There are still a few doubts, not least because two of their best players have been left out. Manu Tuilagi was dropped after pleading guilty to assault and Dylan Hartley was dropped because he got sent off yet again.
Sounds controversial. What about if the bigger teams aren’t playing? Who should I look out for then?
The Pacific island teams, Fiji, Samoa and Tonga, play very exciting rugby and have a plethora of players from the top European clubs. Fiji have one of the best players in the world, Nemani Nadolo, a 6’5”, 20st flying wing, who can also kick goals.
Terrifying. Isn’t the size of the players dangerous?
The game has moved on since the Ivory Coast’s Max Brito was paralysed in a match in 1995. One of the main issues recently has been around concussion and there are new protocols in place to ensure that players are well looked after should they suffer a head collision. It’s going to be painful, tackling Nadolo, but player safety is now the ruling body’s number one priority.
Is Nadolo going to stop England qualifying from the first round?
Not by himself, but it’ll be tough for England. Australia and Wales are also in their pool, so at least one big team is going to fall at the first hurdle.
But if they get through, it’s plain sailing, right?
It depends. Whoever wins the pool will have an easier route to the final. They will probably play Scotland or Samoa in the quarter-final, then any one of France, Ireland or Argentina in the semi. The runner-up will almost certainly go through to play South Africa, then New Zealand. That is, assuming that New Zealand win their pool then beat the runner-up from pool D, likely to be either France or Ireland, in their quarter-final.
Ah, right, then it’s on to the knockout stages. What happens in the event of a tie there?
Extra time for 20 minutes, then, if it’s still level, 10 minutes of sudden death in which the first team to score any points wins. If that doesn’t separate the teams then it’s a penalty shoot-out with kicks from three different positions on the 22-metre line.
Right, red trousers and England shirt at the ready! How does Swing Low Sweet Chariot go again?
Well you could wear that, although people will probably think you’re a Tory. If you want to look like someone who’s been watching the game a long time, go with a club shirt. Or go for one of the smaller nations who have no chance of winning if you want to pioneer rugby hipster fashion.
But Swing Low … is OK, yeah?
Definitely not, given it’s a song that was sung by slaves in America in the 19th century. Nonetheless, the atmosphere is going to be thrilling – hearing Bread of Heaven sung in Cardiff, the Irish taking over Wembley with The Fields of Athenry and New Zealand always get the crowd going with the Haka. Watch out for the Pacific islanders doing their own version of the traditional Maori dance too.
So who’s going to win it?
Er, the All Blacks. This is the final World Cup for many of their players, including some all-time greats such as Richie McCaw and Dan Carter. They look like a complete team, strong in all areas, and it’s tough to find many vulnerabilities. Of course, if they get France in the quarter-finals, I may change my answer.
Why’s that?
The French seem to have a bit of a hoodoo over them, having upset them in 1999 and 2007.
So you’re saying you don’t really know?
Pretty much. In terms of crowds, revenue generated and the closeness in quality of the teams, this is likely to be the biggest tournament ever.
Excellent news. Enjoy!
I will.
