Welcome to England, Herr Klopp, and to the Premier League. Before you start work in this most rewarding of environments, perhaps you should take a few minutes to study the league table. It looks a little strange at the moment and you must not run away with the idea that Liverpool change managers every time they find themselves six places higher than Chelsea, but in this country we like to build a little unpredictability into our national pastime.
From the sound of it this is alien to the Bundesliga, where people have been known to complain that Bayern Munich keep buying up all the best players to ensure continued success, but we do not have an FC Hollywood in England. While we still spend a lot of money on players they are shared around a lot more, so that when the Champions League comes around you would not think we had any big players at all.
Take a look at the top four, for instance. Not set in stone, despite what everyone says. There is no glass ceiling in English football and Crystal Palace are there to prove it. Keep an eye on Palace, by the way. Even before they went up a notch under Alan Pardew they seemed to have the hex on Liverpool, especially at Selhurst Park.
You will also note, and this probably doesn’t happen in Germany either, that even though the season is only eight matches old, every single one of the top four has lost twice already. The same number as Liverpool, as it happens. Who is to say there is nothing left to play for?
Bubbling just under the top four are those doughty warriors of English football, Leicester City. That’s right, the Leicester City who spent much of last season nailed to the foot of the table. Then they sacked their manager. Turns out Claudio Ranieri knows a bit about keeping his head above water after all, despite managing to sink without trace in Greece. Many predicted another relegation struggle for the Foxes, but wily old Claudio has worked out the best way of avoiding a dogfight at the bottom is to start well and stay out of trouble. The sort of manager who flounces out when the going gets tough, claiming relegation scraps just aren’t his cup of tea, is the sort who gives managers a bad name. And keeps Sam Allardyce in perpetual demand.
Talking of Allardyce his old West Ham side are sixth, and looking good under Slaven Bilic. They certainly looked good at Anfield back in August when a 3-0 victory is widely believed to have been the result that put the skids under Brendan Rodgers. That and a similar capitulation at Manchester United a fortnight later. West Ham have also won at Arsenal and Manchester City already this season. If they could only beat the likes of Norwich and Bournemouth at home they would be in a Champions League position by now, though there is no point entertaining Champions League ambitions if you cannot win your home matches. Just ask Arsenal and Manchester City.
Moving on, Everton are in seventh. Try not to let that happen again. Then come the teams everyone thought would be pushing for European places, Tottenham, Southampton and Swansea, all solidly mid-table. Then you have the teams everyone thought would go straight back down to the Championship, Watford, Norwich and Bournemouth, all sitting higher in the table than Chelsea. Yes, Chelsea. Defending champions. Coached by the erstwhile Special One. It must be a bit of a bummer for a bloke who has won the Champions League with two teams from different countries to be above West Bromwich Albion merely through alphabetical order, but hey, this is England. At least Chelsea are still in the top division.
Of some of England’s other European Cup finalists, all of whom you might remember for facing German opponents, Leeds and Nottingham Forest, have departed and Aston Villa appear to be heading in the same direction.
Finally, although you probably think you have seen everything football has to offer, there are one or two places in England for which the Bundesliga will not have prepared you. Fortunately, Stoke is already out of the way and Wigan were relegated two years ago. But only after winning the FA Cup. That is the sort of wacky thing that happens in England. This is probably not the best league in the world, as some foolishly claim, and it is only necessary to look at recent results in Europe to know it is not the strongest.
For incident, drama, ups and downs and sheer level of head-shaking surprise on a weekly basis, however, it has few equals. Remember where you started, lower than Everton but higher than Chelsea, buckle yourself in for the ride and see where you end up.
