My wife died on 25 July after a short illness. I am dumbfounded at Robert Peston’s experience as related by Michael Bywater (Our culture of grieving is changing, 1 August). I have experienced none of that so far, though I have to say my female friends and acquaintances have been much better than the men in expressing what they feel.
I agree with most of the article, but it doesn’t say much about the power of touch – and I do not mean a pat on the shoulder. In particular it has been comforting to hug and be hugged by people. A good hug is worth 100 words. It can show empathy, which is what I need, not sympathy.
I have also been much comforted when friends send personal letters with their cards. I know it is very early days and that grieving is hard work. In conclusion, I often recommend that people read A Grief Observed by CS Lewis, which was written after the death of his wife.
Dr Brian O’Donovan
Chichester, West Sussex
