Q: You are at a party and notice that a friend is flirting with your partner. Do you make a scene or discuss it privately?
You should gently steer the conversation to highlight the fact that you are a couple. For example, share experiences you have had together. Instead of saying, "I loved traveling to Europe," say, "We loved traveling to Europe, and we hope to return."
Move closer to your partner and make sure you are touching. You could sit in your partner's lap, stroke your partner's hair, put your arm around your partner or even give your partner an adoring kiss on the cheek to defuse the situation. You can also declare your affection toward your partner verbally.
Ask whom your friend is dating or how his or her partner is, diverting the attention from your partner to your friend's love life.
Pay close attention to how your partner reacts to the flirting. If there is flirting back or your advances are ignored, it may be time for you both to leave. Don't make a scene; it's best to discuss what happened later.
_ Stephany Alexander, infidelity and relationship expert and co-author of "The Cheat Sheet: A Clue-by-Clue Guide to Finding Out If He's Unfaithful"
If you see the flirting going on, get close and don't leave your partner alone.
If your friend ignores you, use the humor technique and say something like, "We've got to find you a man or woman of your own, friend!" then lean over and nuzzle up to or touch your partner.
If your friend still doesn't get the hint, do not let this get too far. Immediately tell the friend to come with you to get, say, some food. When it is just the two of you, be direct and tell your friend that you feel uncomfortable. Have a serious facial expression and say, "Look, whether you are kidding around or flirting or not, it makes me feel uneasy, so I am asking you to please back off."
If your partner respects you, he or she will most likely not respond to the flirt.
_ Dr. Lillian Glass, author, professor and speaker on body language and communication
