1) Un-Happy Dictator – “An awesome game to troll Kim Jong-Un!”
Why it failed: The world just isn’t ready for a primitive Super Mario clone where the lead character is a piece of North Korean clipart.
2) 2015 #GETFUNDED Conference – “The first conference ever done by the lending & conference.”
Why it failed: You failed to fund a funding conference? Guys.
3) “Travel Europe from the comfort of your home!”
Why it failed:“Travel Europe from the comfort of your home!” is code for: “If you pay for my holiday, I might send you a photo.”
4) A photo of President Barack Obama.
Why it failed: It is literally just a photo of Obama that some guy in Colorado took three years ago.
5) Weedchimp.com. Non-biased marijuana shop review site
Why it failed: “Yelp for pot” sounds less like a workable website and more like the thing you did outside a stranger’s window at 3am when you were a teen. Miraculously, though, weedchimp.com now exists.
6) Bible. Play – “The Bible is pretty epic. We decided to turn it into a video game.”
Why it failed: Baffling. Just $500 got you 500,000 in-game Bible Points.
7) Bone Appétit Pet Food Cart – “A mobile pet-food cart.”
Why it failed: Food trucks are insufferable. A golf cart with some cat food in it is the fad’s natural endpoint.
8) The Dress – “Is it black and blue, or is it gold and white? It’s both!”
Why it failed: Remember the dress from ages ago? The one that briefly grabbed the internet’s curiosity because nobody knew what colour it was? Someone wanted to make a version that was half white and gold, and half black and blue. That’s it.
9 The Assistant – “A trilogy just as good as 50 Shades of Grey”
Why it failed: The pitch reads: “I have a trilogy that I would like to see if it is as good as 50 Shades of Grey if not better”. That’s why.
10) Human Race: “I will create a dance which expresses the Human Race as a whole.”
Why it failed: Sure you will, you awful git.
