The good thing about losing all the time is that it leaves you in no doubt that you need to win. Really quite urgently. In fact, now. In England's case, to take a random example, the requirement is five victories in a row if they are to lift the World Cup. You might laugh - and the Spin is chuckling quietly at the absurdity of the thought - but then you were probably laughing halfway through the Commonwealth Bank Series, weren't you, and looked what happened there, eh? It can be done. It just needs some not-very-fine tuning. Here are five areas which could do with a little work before England stun New Zealand on April 28 in Bridgetown...
1) At least two-thirds of the top three need to fire at the same time. The only game so far in which each member of this unhappy trio has reached double figures was against Canada, and even then the top score was Ed Joyce's 66. Michael Vaughan's freakish ability to look like a duffer the moment he dons the pyjama blue will continue to be tolerated while he is captain, which means Andrew Strauss needs to translate the good net form he is apparently showing (although never, it seems, when the Spin is watching) into the middle. Come to think of it, the first of the five areas might be the most implausible.
2) But here's a possible solution. Since Andrew Flintoff has reverted to India 2001-02 mode with the bat, Duncan Fletcher might as well tell him to open the innings and go for broke. His parody of an innings against Brad Hogg suggests he has nothing to lose and he can hardly do worse than Vaughan, who right now would trade several press-conference utterances of the phrase "under pressure" to score as many as his one-day average of 26. Better to regard him for the time being as a rich man's David Hughes, by hiding him down the order - certainly below Ravi Bopara - and turning him into an off-spinner. Don't snort. These are desperate times.
3) Why is it Kevin Pietersen keeps doing something silly between 45 and 65? On Sunday, he did it again, only for Matthew Hayden to drop him hilariously at mid-off on 63. But whether he likes it or not - and the Spin suspects he likes it very much - Pietersen has reasserted himself ahead of Paul Collingwood as the sine qua non of England's middle order. And that means he has to keep making 90s and 100s, not 50s and 60s. It's unfair to burden Nos 4 and 5 with a rickety top three and an increasingly unfunny joke of a No6, but - as Grandpa Spin used to say moments before ransacking our Christmas stocking - life is unfair.
4) OK, we all know Sajid Mahmood was picked ahead of Liam Plunkett because of the variety he offers, but at the moment the offer is a bit literal. One minute he's showing off the slow off-break that slides down leg, the next it's the off-stump full-toss. The message has worn thin. Four wickets against Sri Lanka looked good, but 50 runs did not. None for 60 against Australia summed up the inconsistency. Three years ago Dennis Lillee said Mahmood had the lot: pace, bounce, movement and some decent jewellery. Time to prove it.
5) If Australia's ground-fielding on Sunday saved 20 runs, England's cost almost as many. Too many talented sportsmen are making too many basic errors, from Strauss's fumble at mid-on to allow Michael Clarke to get off the mark to Vaughan's drop of Andrew Symonds at short extra cover via Flintoff's misfield to allow Clarke's cover-drive to go for three rather than none. If fielding is the barometer of a side's mental wellbeing, England currently rate distinctly under the weather.
Extract taken from The Spin, Lawrence Booth's weekly look at the world of cricket. Subscribe now - it's free
