Comforting cinema ... A scene from Matthew Thompson's Dummy
I spent my honeymoon in Edinburgh. Three freezing days in December, mainly in bed. Not romping, but thumping. Thumping my head to try and dull the pain of my flu-inspired headache. That's a honeymoon low budget film-maker style if ever there was one.
Ten years later, I'm back. It's slightly warmer, being June (apparently in August it actually gets above freezing) and there is drizzle instead of sleet. But who cares about the weather, because this time, I'm here in style, as an honoured guest of the Edinburgh international film festival 2008. Staying at none other than the Premier Travel Inn. Note the Premier. It's a notch up from just Travel Inns, apparently.
Wednesday night was the big one. World premiere of my first feature film Dummy, made for less money than most people spend on a car.
I didn't know what to expect, it being my first time. We are brought up on a diet of red carpet premieres glimpsed over the shoulder of perky local news reporters, but premieres at festivals are not always like that.
I did think about bringing a piece of red carpet from Fluddes in Newhaven for me to walk in on, but after a quick phone call, I realised that budget airlines do not give a carpet allowance, even for premiere-attendees. So the multi-coloured carpet of the Edinburgh Cineworld had to do, and I must say it was perfectly adequate - thanks, Cineworld.
I had imagined perhaps five people in the auditorium, all closely related to me, looking slightly bored. Perhaps some tumbleweed rolling down the aisle. Then the lights go down and three of them sneak out.
Instead I was shocked to see that the auditorium was pretty much packed. With people that I didn't know. Who had paid money to see my film. Real money.
That was a buzz that I hadn't been expecting. Now I'm addicted to it. After the film ended, there was actual applause and a Q&A. With the excitement of the premiere out of the way by 8.30pm, the ruthless streak in me told me that it was time to move straight onto my next goal. Go to a bar and find myself an international sales agent.
International, Premier, premiere - you're getting the picture, right? It's pure glamour this film-making business.
Next morning, beans on toast in a VIP-only greasy spoon, and I'm scouting for reviews. On a laptop, of course, not a newspaper (nobody reads those any more, do they?). One very nasty one by an unknown blogger who clearly has poor taste in films, and several very nice, including, most importantly, Variety - the LA industry bible which recommends us warmly for theatrical release in the US. Maybe there will be a red carpet one day.
