AT THE COURT OF KING BRENNY
In an episode sociologists will one day surely reference as a textbook study in collective cognitive dissonance, a large number of Parkhead regulars rushed to various online forums and social media disgraces on Tuesday to accuse their former manager of not being loyal enough. It didn’t help that Brendan Rodgers was later pictured in a dressing room lined with blue shirts and Ibroxian wood panelling, standing on some light blue Jock Wallace Memorial Carpet, in a stadium named in celebration of the strength and authority of a sovereign monarch. Still, Neil Lennon’s officially back, and they like him more, so it’s swings and roundabouts. Plus the new interim boss insists he’s “mellow” these days, so that augurs well doesn’t it. In other news, the Old Firm derby is scheduled for Sunday 31 March at high noon, so set your watch for that.
Rodgers was perhaps the happiest of quite a few giddy Premier League managers on Tuesday night. Marco Silva was delighted to see his Everton team break a three-match losing run with victory at Cardiff, just in time to start another one at the weekend, in spectacular own-foot-shooting style no doubt. Jan Siewert cavorted with glee as Huddersfield ended a 15-game wait for a win, even though the Terriers always beat Wolves – that’s five in a row now, let’s keep everything in perspective. And after Newcastle swatted aside Burnley, Rafa Benítez adjusted his tie in business-like fashion while clearing his throat quietly, a typical display of raw emotion from the great man. But King Brenny outdid them all! Responding to the generous welcome he received from Leicester fans, he flashed a smile so broad and dazzling that, just for one second, you were certain those pearly-white chompers were going to start dancing in the style of popular music-hall entertainer Conrad Poohs.
“Special things are on the horizon,” he promised both players and staff after beating Brighton, and not all of them were disappointed to discover he was only referring to the PowerPoint presentation he’s planning to give on Thursday. “I’m excited about watching that!” trilled first-team coach Mike Stowell, perhaps unaware that more than two thirds of it consists of motivational quotes illustrated with pictures of Rodgers greeting other managers with disproportionate excitement; slides 48 through 73 address the best way to fold your kit to “spark joy”; and there’s a bit at the end explaining how strong he likes his tea. Whether he plans to pull that stunt with the envelopes again isn’t clear, though there have been rumours that the turn, popularised in the legendary variety show Being: Liverpool, has since developed into an act heavily influenced by Eric Morecambe’s funny paper bag trick. If true, here’s hoping someone captures that one on film as well, so it too will be repeated ad nauseam for the rest of Brenny’s career.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“The fight for my release was something special. It was a fight against power, corruption and injustice. International sporting bodies, governments and individuals must unite to fight for the helpless. Australia showed that it cared about my plight; I now ask you all to show your solidarity for those who are suffering the fate I escaped” – Hakeem al-Araibi writes about his gratitude … and why his fight isn’t over yet.
FIVER LETTERS: NOBLE FRANCIS SPECIAL (PART 2)
“So Shaune Moore suspects Noble Francis is a family member of The Fiver, hence his lack of winning the letter of the day despite his regular missives (yesterday’s Fiver letters)? I admire his belief that The Fiver has the integrity and honour to not issue family remembers with the daily award. I also welcome him to the fold as he is clearly a new reader” – Lee Richardson (and 1,056 others).
“Surely the fact that Noble Francis sends in ‘stuff that’s often quite funny and/or witty’ is proof enough that he’s not a member of The Fiver team?” – Jim Allison.
“Noble Francis is like Bayern Munich. What we need are The Fiver letters equivalent of Leicester City to dilly-ding dilly-dong their way to the title, restoring our faith in daily football missives, and offering hope that those petrostate-bankrolled rival newsletters may have competition in years to come. But I quite like Noble Francis anyway” – Craig Fawcett.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our letter o’the day is … Craig Fawcett, who wins Home and Away, by Dave Roberts. Plenty more prizes to come.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
It’s 100 days until the Women’s World Cup. Here’s everything you need to know.
Nantes have complained to Fifa that Cardiff have not paid the first instalment of the £15m transfer fee for Emiliano Sala.
Manchester City are being investigated by the FA over claims they made an irregular £200,000 payment to Jadon Sancho’s Mr 15% when the forward joined from Watford. Meanwhile, City will play a pre-season match in Japan for the first time when they face Yokohama F Marinos on 27 July in the inaugural EuroJapan Cup. “This will be a special moment for City Football Group,” whooped some suit.
Jürgen Klopp says his Liverpool players, who have received a host of plaudits during their Premier League-leading run, deserve more credit. “We are in a good moment,” he roared. “I cannot help if you don’t see it.”
Neil Lennon admits he has big shoes to fill after returning to the Queen’s Celtic. “It was a no-brainer,” he honked. “These opportunities come round once in a lifetime, and it’s come round twice in a lifetime for me.”
Nasty Leeds boss Marcelo Bielsa is feeling a bit funky over a hack’s inquiry about fading in the second half of seasons, following their 1-0 defeat at QPR. “Your question does not have any basis because if you watch the game you can see that this team has much energy,” he blootered. “It’s clear that you don’t know what you are talking about.”
And Chelsea’s Social Media Disgrace Twitter account isn’t letting something like a transfer ban get in the way of those sweet, sweet, engagement targets, spouting: “Who would you want to sign in the summer?”
STILL WANT MORE?
Dave Hockaday recalls his wild, 70-day, white-knuckle ride in charge of Nasty Leeds.
Marina Hyde on the soap opera of football on social media.
Ewan Murray on Brendan.
Which defenders have scored hat-tricks from open play? The Knowledge has the answer.
Suzanne Wrack looks at England’s SheBelieves Cup chances.
The January signings making an impact around Europe.
Major League Soccerball prediction time.
Some terrifying mascots, from the archive.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
