UNITED FRONT
It is nearly four months since Manchester United lost 4-0 at Everton through a performance Ole Gunnar Solskjær could only describe as “so bad I can’t describe it” and which Paul Pogba, a man well placed to judge, condemned as “disrespectful” of the club. Both agreed the best thing about the experience was that it gave United an excellent opportunity to prove their enduring class by bouncing back in style. They have not gone so far as to win a match since then, but they did hold Huddersfield to a draw in May and, after Cardiff inflicted another setback on the last day of the season, they went unbeaten throughout the Women’s World Cup, the Epsom Derby, the Canadian Grand Prix and a good chunk of Wimbledon. If that doesn’t keep the club’s official ornamental hatstand suppliers happy, then Ed Woodward needs to have a serious word about reasonable expectations!
Mr Woodward did not comment when The Fiver shouted his name today at a bus driver who looked nothing like him, but who kept going around a roundabout again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. Solskjær, meanwhile, presented himself to more or less respectable members of the media on Wednesday to mark the beginning of United’s flamin’ tour of Australia, during which they will play against local outfit Perth Galahs and fellow formerly dominant English club Nasty Leeds, who, despite the forthcoming friendly, appear to have a radically different approach to preparing for the new season: while NL seem set to go into the new campaign having sold their best players, Manchester United’s cunning plan apparently involves holding on to as many underperformers as possible, many of whom recently signed cashtravagant contracts.
So far, the squad that staggered and sulked towards the end of last season has been reinforced by Daniel James, Aaron Wan-Bissaka and the promise of a heartfelt piano recital by maestro Alexis Sánchez. “Doing business in the football market is not going to be a quick fix overnight, and we have players here who I trust,” tooted Solskjær. “We’re still in the market looking to do some business but we’re patient,” he continued. “We’re Manchester United, we don’t have to sell and don’t have to overpay. You have to have the right players at the right price and if you look at the squad we’ve got now there are so many good players.” It is true that some of those players will inevitably be older and wiser, some will be Jesse Lingard. And any United fans worried that Solskjær might be a relatively unproven manager promoted beyond his ability by a flawed regime can at least console themselves with the knowledge that, whatever happens, they begin their Premier League campaign against Frank Lampard’s Chelsea.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
Join Paul Doyle from 5pm BST for hot and steamy MBM coverage of Senegal 2-1 Benin at Afcon 2019.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Man, I got him … he’s so cute” – LA rapper Killa Fame puts a dent in his tough-guy image by falling under the spell of Daniel Sturridge’s pilfered Pomeranian, after claiming that he has found Lucci.
FIVER LETTERS
“Back in May, I suggested Notts County might find a way for things to get worse for themselves despite wondering how it could get any worse, what with losing their title as oldest Football League club in the world to their noisy neighbours over the river, manager turnover, being the most stressful club to support in the UK based on flirtations with and actual promotions and relegations, Big Alan, Little Alan and Juventus ditching the famous black and white stripes loaned to them by County. Now, with a high court winding-up order postponed for the third time, one consortium pulling out and no new kit delivered because they can’t afford it, you wonder if it could actually get any worse but … this is Notts County” – Ferg Slade.
“Of course, Football Weekly is the only podcast that I listen to (ahem), but Michael Lewis, of ‘Moneyball’ and ‘The Big Short’ fame, also has a podcast, an episode of which is called ‘Ref, You Suck!’, which argues that some people are getting angrier and angrier about poor refereeing and it is connected to an increasing sense of general unfairness in modern life, highlighted by populists and their message that the system is rigged. I thought I’d pass it on just in case there are any diminutive Catalonia-based Argentinian footballing readers of The Fiver” – Noble Francis.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Ferg Slade.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Sheffield Wednesday boss Still Bernard Cribbins is on Newcastle’s managerial shortlist and open to an approach.
Spurs will host Women’s Super League champions and rivals Arsenal on 17 November at north London’s premier 62,000-capacity craft ale venue.
Despite having naff all to spend, Arsenal are close to splashing out £27m for William Saliba, a defender who will be spared having to play for them for a year because he’ll be loaned back to St Etienne.
Fenerbahce say they haven’t got enough beans to rescue Mesut Özil from the naughty step at Arsenal. “Under the current economic conditions, such a step is not possible for both parties,” sniffed a club suit.
And Xabi Alonso has been appointed manager of Real Sociedad’s B team. “It’s a beautiful day,” he Bono’d. “Everything I’ve lived was born here, first in Sanse and then in the first team.”
STILL WANT MORE?
The Women’s World Cup captured the public’s imagination despite Fifa’s worst efforts. Marina Hyde sticks the boot into Gianni Infantino and co.
Get Roman Abramovich to London, keep Willian and play the kids. Dominic Fifield on the key tasks facing Chelsea’s Frank Lampard.
“I try to trigger all the senses” – Peter Carney on life as a Liverpool banner-maker.
South Africa boss Stuart Baxter gets his chat on with Nick Ames and explains how he hopes his team can give the nation hope at Afcon, albeit temporarily.
Which footballers have also played tennis to a professional level? The Knowledge catches Wimbledon-fever.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
