I am a zodiac person. I have five books on the zodiac (and am open to many more). When I meet someone, before they have even opened their mouth I’ll be trying to figure out what their star sign is. I’m not so into this stuff that I’ll dislike or avoid certain signs, but saying this, we all know that Gemini men are terrible.
Lots of people aren’t star sign people, so to get around that one of the first questions I ask, as casually as possible, is when their birthday is. If they’re into it, I might ask when they were born so I can do their entire natal chart; it’s good to know what I’m working with.
But now a whole new star sign is being discussed. I am a very sensitive Cancer, and proud of it, so imagine my relief when I discovered I was still a Cancer. But then, I was always going to be. It’s how I explain away my moodiness and my propensity to scuttle back into my shell without any warning. I’m not subscribing to these new dates, nor am I accepting Ophiuchus, the “new” zodiac sign. I can’t even pronounce it. And if I so much as hear about a book on this new star sign, I’m going to buy every copy and shoot them into the sun. Which may well create a new zodiac sign.
• This article was amended on 27 July 2020 to clarify that the Opiuchus star sign is not new, nor has it recently been “announced” or “discovered”.
