A woman who called into “The Ramsey Show” recently shared that her husband had been hiding cash, buying expensive things without consulting her, and making her question her own sanity. “I think [he’s] one of the biggest gaslighters I know,” she said bluntly. “So, I want to know I’m not nuts.”
Her Husband Bought A Boat With Her Anniversary Gift
The caller explained that they've been married for more than 20 years and share a joint bank account, along with a separate one in her name. Despite seeing account activity, she became suspicious when their joint balance seemed to stay stagnant, hovering around $28,000 to $30,000.
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Things escalated on their 20th anniversary. Her husband withdrew $4,000 without saying why. When she asked about it, he told her, “Oh, I knew you’d notice that.”
His reason? He had a surprise. On their anniversary, he brought her to a pier and revealed a 28-foot cabin cruiser, saying, “Here, honey. I bought you a boat for our anniversary.”
But she was never into boating the way he was. “Are you a boating person?” co-host John Delony asked. She responded, “Here and there… we go kayaking and whatever.”
“So, you got a $4,000 down payment, a big bunch of payments on a 28-foot cruiser,” Dave Ramsey noticed.
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$15,000 Hidden In The Closet
About a year after the boat incident, she was still suspicious. “I started going through the closet thinking, I’m going to find it. He’s got money hidden in here somewhere,” she said. “And I found 15 grand.”
She confronted her husband, who insisted he had good intentions. “He said, ‘I thought I was doing something good. I put money away.'” But the caller didn't buy it.
On top of that, she said he has a drinking problem. “If you’re hiding liquor and you’re hiding money, I don’t believe you at all.”
Delony shared his own experience keeping cash at home during uncertain times, but stressed the difference: “The key there is I told [my wife]. I didn’t hide it.”
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They Don't Agree On Money Or Much Else
The caller said she tells her husband when she helps her parents or buys something meaningful, but she resents that he makes her feel like a spender when he’s the one being dishonest.
Things got more tangled when she brought up that $65,000 per year goes into their joint account, partly to care for her son who has Down syndrome. Ramsey cut in: “You don’t need $65,000 to care for a Down syndrome child. You’re being melodramatic.”
Both Ramsey and Delony strongly recommended marriage counseling. “You guys need to sit down with a good marriage counselor and decide if you’re going to go forward,” Ramsey said.
If they do stay together, he added, they need one shared bank account, one budget, and full transparency. “There’s no coming out of the closet with 15 grand in your hand, and there’s no buying boats,” he said. “If you don’t do that, you’re probably divorced within a year.”
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