There’s nothing that gets people talking like a good ol’ wang scene on TV. Whether it’s Jacob Isaacs showing off his ~magic wand~ during The White Lotus, or *that* spicy blowjob scene in House Of The Dragon, there’s something about seeing a giant dong that just gets people going. In more ways than one.
But what about all those terrifying NSFW scenes that have the exact opposite effect? I’m talking about bloody explosions, broken peens and, yep… ticks being stuck all over a peen. It’s nightmare-fuel that will probably keep you up for weeks thinking about all the ways you can stumble into a precocious peen-situation. I’ve done some Very Important Journalism and compiled a list of the most horrifying dong moments on TV so far, so come and join me on this journey.
The bloody explosion on Gen V
Gen V is a superhero spinoff from The Boys, known for its share of *interesting* schlong scenes. So it came as no surprise that during Gen V season one, viewers were blessed (or cursed) with the bloodiest, most horrifying explosion ever.
Let me set the scene. Marie Moreau (Jaz Sinclair) is a student at Godolkin University, where she’s learning to harness her power. She’s able to control the flow of blood, whether it’s her own or drawn from other sources. In episode four, we see Marie work closely with telepath Rufus McCurdy (Alexander Calvert), who TBH, is a major perv.
The creepy character drugs Marie, and when she wakes up, she finds herself alone in Rufus’ room… and he’s naked. YUCK. Of course, she does what any sane woman would do in this situation, and uses her blood-bending powers to draw all of his blood to his doodle. His dong grows at a rapid pace, before culminating in a giant explosion that covers both Marie and the room in blood.
When a character got his thing cut off twice on Grey’s Anatomy
It’s rare to see a peen be cut off and reattached, let alone it happening twice in one episode… to the same man. On Grey’s Anatomy, patient Thomas Archibald (Jackson Hurst) came into the hospital with a severed thing, because his wife Marcia Archibald (Alexa Etchart), found out about his affair with colleague Rory Petrucci (Teri Reeves).
After his lil guy was successfully reattached, he made up with his wife Marcia, and the pair decided to continue their marriage. Once his affair partner found out about this new development, she ran into the hospital room and cut off Thomas’ peen for a second time, before threatening to flush it down the toilet.
After a heart-to-heart with Dr Stephanie Edwards (Jerrika Hinton), Rory returns the thing and Thomas undergoes surgery to repair his mutilated schlong once again. Let this be a lesson to all those people with ding-dong — don’t cheat or your thing could be cut off!!! Twice!!!!!!
Termite’s exploding NSFW scene in The Boys
Before the explosion in Gen V, there was its predecessor on The Boys. In season three, Termite (Brett Geddes) gets into a very sticky situation involving another man’s peen. After taking copious amounts of drugs with his lover, he uses his superpower to shrink down to the size of the bug, and makes his way into the man’s urethra.
After climbing around the inside of the schlong like a, well, termite in a termite cave, he makes one fatal mistake: he sneezes. Suddenly, he’s launched back into his full human size and completely destroys his lover in an explosion.
The string training session on Ted Lasso
There’s a lack of actual dong screentime on Ted Lasso — we’re in family-friendly territory — but sometimes the power of ~imagination~ is just as nightmare-inducing as watching a peen explode in your face.
In one of the most awkward and hilarious NSFW scenes of season three, Ted Lasso (Jason Sudeikis) comes up with the genius idea of tying a red string to each player’s peen while they literally play a game of football.
The exercise is meant to increase awareness in the team, but all it increases is pain for Jamie Tartt (Phil Dunster) when his schlong is yanked by another player.
Gen V’s giant peen
The creators of The Boys and Gen V sure have a fascination with doodles, and in Gen V season one, they managed to find a reason to create a giant one.
Emma ‘Little Cricket’ Meyer (Lizze Broadway) has the same power as Termite, and can make herself really small. When hooking up with Liam (Robert Bazzocchi) in her dorm room, he reveals he has a fetish and wants her to dance around on his dong while being the size of Thumbelina.
While it’s kind of funny to see Emma jump around on his junk, the NSFW scene is quite disturbing: it shows how damaging it can be for people to love you just for your power, rather than who you really are.
This show is filled with peen AND philosophical meaning.
Johnny Knoxville’s broken thing on Jackass
Look, everything that happens on Jackass is self-inflicted, so I have no sympathy for Johnny Knoxville and his limp peen. But still, I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. Unless?
Anyway, in 2007, Johnny tried to do a fancy flip on a motorbike that went extremely wrong… and his peen was crushed. Yep, the motorbike landed on his crotch.
“It just felt like I was pissing my pants, but I’ve realised it’s blood, and I’m afraid to really look,” Johnny told the cameras. He ended up having to wear a catheter for three-and-a-half years, but he told Variety that he made a full recovery.
“The doctor said a couple of centimetres down and it would’ve been out of commission. But I’ve had two children since then, so it’s in great working order,” he said. Congratulations and salutations to Johnny on his operational peen… I guess?!
Naked and Afraid’s tick sitch
On Naked and Afraid: Castaways, Andrew Shayde had the unpleasant experience of waking up with five ticks chilling out on his junk. “Last night was a full assault. It was terrible,” he told the other castaways.
This isn’t the only Naked and Afraid ding-dong accident, either. There’s also been a burnt thing and a sliced scrotum. Why do people go on this show?!!
Well, some of these characters certainly got shafted in these NSFW scenes. With season two of Gen V coming out shortly, there’s bound to be more junk getting junked to add to this list very soon.
The post A Bunch Of Disturbing TV Peen Scenes That I Still Can’t Believe Made It To Air appeared first on PEDESTRIAN.TV .
