Image credits: Youranxietyislying2yew
#1
Because most men don’t want a partner. They want a maid, child care, chef, and accountant…all while expecting to have someone who works and pays at least half the bills if not more. So they can kick their feet up and play video games with their 40-something-going-on-12 buddies - or drink themselves into a stupor, or whatever else it is that doesn’t involve any responsibility or accountability for anything it takes to run a household. Then they try to make the woman the problem, calling her a nag…too sensitive…too particular…crazy. No thanks. I’m good on my own. If I’m doing everything, I’m not doing it for an additional adult child.
Image credits: Jenn Smith
#2
Sick of being harmed and stalked. Prefer my peace now.
Kathryn Larick replied:
I literally had one guy trying to break into my house. I took him to court for stalking they didn't do anything. He even jumped at me in the court room on my way out the door. Then proceeded to jog up and down my street constantly afterwards. I couldn't do anything about it. The policeman that came to most of my calls would check on me after the court date. He'd even broke my window trying to rip the air conditioner out of the window. I swear he would have k****d me if he got in. To this day I think he still comes around.
Image credits: Julie Crilly
#3
I used to be one of those women who choosed to die alone, no more dating, partners nothing.
I had multiple dv relationships in my life, dad wasn't a great role model for what males should be, and every guy around me were absolutely nothing I'd even consider dating material. I had no exposure of a man that I'd even say "oh he's a good guy, maybe he's out there" so with that, I gave up, there was no hope.
Then.... A guy had similar interests as me, love psychology and self help, loves to better himself and has such a strong drive for doing right and teamwork.
I gave up on my solitary life.... He was worth it. I'm so glad I did give up tho. I was able to filter out so much noise, and I think that's how I found and was able to accept him.
Destinee Spencer replied:
yes, my husband came into my life when I wasn't looking. We were engaged and married in 6 months, been married for 4 years now.
Image credits: Skye Alexander
The Pew Research Center has found that 71% of women aged 40 and above aren't looking for a relationship, compared with 42% of men 40 and older.
Experts have a few explanations for this.
“There’s been a simple but profound shift in the dating space: Women are realizing that protecting their peace is their number one priority,” dating and relationship expert Danielle Szetela told the Daily Mail.
“They’re afraid of losing themselves in relationships that ask them to shrink, settle, or self-abandon,” she added, saying that more women are now “choosing peace over chaos, purpose over pressure, and emotional safety over surface-level connection.”
#4
Because I’m exhausted
Repeating the definition of insanity
Time to learn that the love I give is the same I should receive
Amy Madison replied:
exactly! I'm tired! I got married young and devoted myself to my family only to be thrown away by them. It's time for me to take care of myself and first.
Paula Elizabeth replied:
just give all that love to yourself now. Many women were never told to love themselves but now it’s our time
Carol Power replied:
Amen. Definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So I quit. Exhausted, just as you said.
Image credits: Kat Dwyer
#5
Waaay too scared! PETRIFIED. Scared of making someone else incomfortable or hurt with my Me-ness, scared of getting made small for my muchness and getting hurt for bwing who and how I am... if it's considered "too needy" to need a hug when things are tough, I'll forever be too much. Lol So bugger it. Stick it out nd hope for the best.
Image credits: Jem Cook
#6
Women want their independence and they don’t want to be controlled by limited access to resources.
We want control over our bodies with 100% sought out consent. To feel valued without having to sell our souls to get that feeling.
It’s actually really sad - being in a relationship that is fulfilling and a genuine back and forth allows for a deep understanding of life. But the general male population is sexist and toxic - male chauvinism is pervasive and if you’re not part of the solution as a male, you’re part of the problem. So women opt out.
David Nolan replied:
wow, there is so much misandry on this thread. Ask yourself why all the good men are taken and why you attract the kind of men you do. Statistically men are more likely to stay single than women, historically it shows they lose out more than women upon separation or divorce. Statistically women cheat more than men, men can go out and try to cheat but fail due to not finding a willing other, women go out to cheat and have multiple men vying for the attention in minutes and they act on impulse. If you think men are the problem I hope you enjoy the rest of your life with your cat.
Suzanne Bladey replied:
here is a man forcing his opinion where it was clearly not asked for, then to make statements that are meant to sound like facts but are just his personal opinion shows why women think men are arrogant and can't get over themselves enough to see they are the issue is really case and point. Thanks for being the example that shows that men can't take the criticism in real life or online.
Image credits: Cara Domings
She notes that for modern women, being single isn't a failure—it's a form of self-love.
“They’re not waiting for love to complete them—they’re protecting the wholeness they’ve fought so hard to feel,” she said. “Because for today’s woman, being single isn’t a failure—it’s a form of self-love.”
There's a big difference between being single and feeling lonely. And with women having bigger social circles than men, they are more fulfilled being single and surrounded by their non-romantic relationships than their male counterparts.
#7
Women arnt looking to raise a boy that's supposed to be their partner.
Image credits: Kris Haley Kizzire
#8
I want a partner, not a kid or father figure. A mature grown up man Who has done his inner healing. But I dont think theres a lot of them, so then I stay alone, cause i value myself and my inner peace
Image credits: Aud Chatrin Kristoffersen
#9
Because men ain't men anymore. I've been a single mom for 16 yrs haven't been with anyone in almost 9 yrs.
Lesley Dawn replied:
Yesssss..... men are not men...and they don't want to have a mature relationship...they want a mother!
Teresa Lewis Smith replied:
I've been single since I was 40, just turned 60 earlier this year. Peace feels too good!
Laura Spino replied:
that is so true. They act like toddlers in a grown up body. So frustrating.
Image credits: Kel Adams
Research has found that men have more to gain from partnering than women, so single women shouldn't let anyone make them feel like they're missing out.
“The best relationships come when you’re your best self—and that takes time, introspection, and a whole lot of self-love. Be patient with yourself, and remember, there’s no rush," said counselor Brittney LaBonte.
#10
Because they are constantly disappointed or lied to, they recognise red flags earlier and just want peace (the four main ones I believe are contributing).
Image credits: Shannon Smith
#11
My peace is more important than anything
Image credits: Suha-Binte Abdul-Qaium Mollah
#12
Too much trauma
Kat Henderson replied:
This! Unfortunately, most men have attachment styles on the avoidant end of the spectrum, and avoidants can be just as damaging and traumatic as a true narcissist.
Jackie Solotko replied:
Not too long ago the common phrase was “too much drama.” But I think you’re spot on here. I see women leaving marriages they’ve been in for 10+ years and they didn’t even realize until they got out how much trauma there was, not only to them but to their kids. And I don’t mean it was all the man’s fault. But just that slow deterioration of a relationship that sours without anyone realizing how bad it is until they’re out. That’s a lot of bitterness and suppression and resentment to survive for years
Image credits: Amanda Sutcliffe
“Women are creating lives that are rich with experiences and accomplishments, not bound by the pressure to ‘settle down,'” LaBonte said, adding that a woman's sole purpose doesn't need to be finding love.
“It’s about being a whole, complete person before bringing someone else into the mix.”
Besides, being single doesn't mean that women aren't dating. They may be dating multiple people and exploring other experiences.
“And for others, the local ‘fish in the sea’ just isn’t cutting it, so they choose to invest their time and energy elsewhere — like on themselves,” LaBonte said.
#13
I’m yet to find someone who loves me for me and doesn’t want to change me. It’s even harder considering I have chronic illnesses and an Assistance Dog (I’ve found partners in the past have felt like they needed to compete with my dog); one day I’ll meet someone, until then, I’m open to the universe finding someone for me when the time is right.
Image credits: Kerri Callum
#14
Too much drama. I'd rather be safe in my peace.
Image credits: Aro Bella
#15
Because I’m an empathetic person who seems to attract narcissists. I’m tired of having love and let them go, after being the only one trying for so long
Image credits: Leah Marie
#16
Because men expect so much and give so little...
Image credits: Jerri Burkart
#17
We are no longer dating out of fear of being alone. It is peaceful and there seems to be a huge emotional maturity gap between men and women. To be single is to be free and authentic. We are not bitter, we are blooming. We are not lonely, we are whole. We have raised our standards.
#18
Because single women live longer than married women...and married men live longer than single men. That should tell you all you need to know.
#19
I prioritize my peace.
Image credits: Hiraeth Saudade
#20
I know the outcome. I’d rather not
Image credits: Glenda Aguiñaga
#21
It’s not worth it. Online dating is based on looks. In person, where do you find good, single men who’ll step up and ask you out? I live in a small town and only get out for errands and my kids’ sporting events. And…I’m okay being on my own.
Angelika Sz replied:
not only to ask you out but also don't use a dinner date as a transactional date!
Some guys just don't have any empathy or integrity towards women.
Some think a good meal and a glas of wine will make her jump into the box with him.
Idk who teaches those guys this crap!
Image credits: Trista Lee Prairie
#22
I always lost myself, they were too needy
Rebecca Ortiz replied:
yeah, that's how I feel. I'm from an era that expected women to mold themselves into someone that put their man above their own selves and happiness.
In the process we lost ourselves.
Image credits: Judy Renell Johnson
#23
My first relationship is with me. I have a relatively drama free life these days and I love it. If I meet a prospective love I'm considering whether they will fit into my life and whether they add value to my life. If they don't or there is drama, I would choose myself.
Image credits: Tulip Kennedy
#24
Because I'm not in a position to support myself let alone help support another human being, I won't be a burden on anyone so won't even look into dating until I'm confident in my own abilities
Image credits: Jessie Mayne
#25
It's just quieter. Safer. Calmer. I'm not expected to pour to the point of exhaustion and get so very little in return.
#26
It's hard to keep their interest in us as we go through life phases they think what they fall in love with usy the looks usually no connectiom ,been single twenty years now and I'm able to provide for myself
Image credits: Heather Simmons
#27
I just bought a house that l can live in and enjoy peace and safety. I won't jeprodise that ever again.
#28
It's just easier to be on your own and only be responsible for yourself instead of trying to take care of a man who basically becomes another child/chore. The equality between men and women with the responsibilities around home are still greatly greatly lopsided. It's exhausting and creates a lot of resentment.
#29
you do lose yourself. Life isn't about you anymore. It's about the relationship and them. Like you can't breathe for yourself and just be you. Can't go somewhere by yourself without having to "check in" with them. Even if it's going down the street to get a Big Mac meal or Starbucks for an iced coffee without them getting angry when you just want some "me" time because I like being by myself too. The last time I was single, I went to a restaurant and got my food to go. I came back and pulled in my driveway. Just sat there. Nobody home but me. The sun was setting behind the mountain behind my home. My kids were grown and nobody there but me. I felt so at peace. Nobody... where's mine? Just sat and ate my dinner in peace.
Image credits: Amy Kevin Wilbon
#30
1. Happy being single 2. Don't want to have to answer to anyone 3. I make my own decisions without explanation 4. I get control of the TV remote!
#31
Because unless she finds someone that is more satisfying than living with the peace she carefully curated for her life, she’s not interested in.
#32
Probably because we’re simply tired of trying.
#33
I have a child I need to protect. The news is full of children who were sexually a****d, kidnapped and/or k****d by mom’s boyfriend or husband. I’m not willing to risk the safety of my child for a relationship. But even after they are out of the house, I’m still not sure I’ll ever date again. I’m done dealing with tempers, poor communication, laziness, lack of responsibility, narcissism, unaccountability, etc. I crave peace and so far I’ve only been able to find that on my own.
#34
I’d rather come home alone and enjoy my peace. No more cleaning and cooking for someone that doesn’t appreciate my efforts.
#35
Peaceful home. Nobody threatening to rip the rug out from underneath me because I dare to have hobbies or success outside of my relationship. Happy kids. Happy dog. Life is just so much easier and more fun without a man around. I KNOW I KNOW *not all men* but plenty of them, okay. The weaponized incompetence is too much.
#36
I am healing from narcissist a***e. I was married for 15 years. I like my freedom. The thought of dating or a relationship gives me an anxiety attack.
#37
Because we’ve realized we can get the same energy from a cat — minimal communication, random mood swings, and occasional affection… but at least the cat’s honest about it. No mixed signals, no emotional unavailability, just naps and quiet judgment.
#38
I would rather not have to mother another child, especially one I didn't birth. The men I pick want a mother figure to cook and clean, but also work full time. I might as well be single if I'm doing it by myself anyway
#39
I don’t trust my judgment. I isolate hard and making plans is exhausting and even though I love and would like to spend time with the people I love, for some reason 9 times out of ten I regret making plans because when I finally get the day to myself I feel like I just need alone time. The guilt behind that is real. Protecting my heart from anymore heartache and abandonment.
Image credits: Nikki Kloehr
#40
Fear. That’s all I need to say
Image credits: Chantelle Burton
#41
Because of constant heartbreak and I'm tired
Image credits: Egbe Blessing
#42
I strongly believe we are at the end times, nothing makes sense.woman are also part of this chaos.
However to answer the question asked,I honestly think men ain't mature enough to settle,they constantly disappoint,and lie.
We women ain't even trying to be in relationships nowadays because the amount of peace when we aren't Dating,is purely unmatched
Image credits: MaMfenqa MaNtuli
#43
The best thing about this is that the shelters will be able to get all their cats adopted. I am all for that.
#44
it’s crazy how we’re evolving to now feel safer and more protected in solitude bc the danger is your own species. I like to believe it’s the evolution of self-preservation and we’re just ahead of the curve
#45
Men largely want to be taken care of. They want a caretaker they can have sex with. I know there are good, mature, dependable, fun men who were brought up properly. I just never dated one. My life was not enhanced by any man - at least not for very long. It is much less stressful to live with a cat.
#46
The dating pool is full of pee.
#47
It's just easier and more peaceful without a man. The men I've experienced arent good partners more like teenage boys and they are over 50.
#48
Tired of trying, of compromising and getting nothing in return. Tired of begging for the bare minimum of affection, respect and help. I’m done.
#49
Tired of the lazy, jobless, uncommited, lying, gas lighting, lean-on-me poles with more issues then a Twin-saver Tissue Box! Am not the KFC or McDonalds Drive-through either. So heartbreaking & demeaning! Just be ALONE, far easier & far softer on the heart & brain
#50
We are suppose to be a team, a team is not one person putting in the time, effort, and energy.
If we are putting everything into the relationship and getting nothing in return then we should be putting that effort into ourselves instead.
It seems as though we are always filling everyone else's cups while ours remains empty.
Eventually we get tired of doing the same thing and achieving the same results. Someone has to be the change, and if that means being alone & concentrating on our mental and physical health then so be it.
#51
Because there is nothing someone else can do for me that I can’t do for myself and I don’t have time for the BS
#52
Because I can cook ,pay bills, build a house, back a 53 foot trailer, clean and push a lawn mower my self
Edit I also run my own business. That’s a full time job in its self
#53
Speaking for myself — it’s not that I don’t believe in connection anymore, it’s that I got tired of calling scraps a meal. I’ve seen what peace feels like, and I won’t trade it for someone who just wants my energy but can’t match my depth. If I date again, it’ll be because someone’s presence feels safer than my solitude — and that’s a high bar
#54
Because every man that ever got close to me was only there to take from me and leave me broken. Last one put a bullet in my back to take my home and life insurance money . After just 14 months married. I do not trust them at all !
#55
Because being alone doesn’t mean I’m lonely.
#56
Because I'm tired of feeling like I have another child to contend with. Been happier since being single lately. I can do what I want without someone breathing down my neck
#57
Men don’t add anything extra to the table we have already set.
#58
It is a lot of work to have someone around all of the time. I am tired of having my boundaries ignored so I just want to be alone.
#59
Scared of losing my peaceful existence. Took a long time of healing to get here. So scary! Plus I think my picker is broke. Make the worst choices in men!
#60
Full control of the remote, no need to pay for sky sports, whole king-size bed to myself, not being asked "What's for dinner" a thousand times on repeat, having a bath without interruption, going out without having to rush because he's bored on his own and phones constantly asking where I am. The peace is fantastic, I can take my own bins out and mow the lawn. Even have a cleaner, apparently it was my job and not necessary to hire somebody for a job I don't want to do.
#61
All the men out here playing games and I've had my heart broken too many times... shields at 100% Mr Spock!
Image credits: Courtney Litchfield
#62
I guess I should be glad that men see me as a s*x object, but the men I loved (God rest their souls) saw my intelligence and humor as my real attraction.
#63
Too much previous trauma from the previous relationships I formed with said, "men." The false promises and abuse are enough to haunt my dreams. Im happy being alone, most days, but wish someone would come along and prove my mind wrong
#64
At the end of the day, idk if they are aware consciously but…it’s always about d. Everything a man thinks and does is in some way shape or form, is to get him booty. They say that woman are the seat of reproductivity, when in actuality, that’s the sole purpose of men. Look up Tiffany Haddish’Yo Cochie fell out”
#65
ill never be good enough
#66
Cause I dont want to know anymore favorite colors. I like mine better anyway
Image credits: Katie Kablak
#67
I’d love to meet someone, I’ve tried in the past but the ones I’m meeting all turn out to be the same, after being in three dv relationships it’s hard for me to even trust a man and when I try to they turn out the same, trying to isolate me and gaslight me, are there really any good men left out there?
#68
Well, for me… it was becuase I trusted that he would change… I forgave him again and again and again… and every time I forgave and trusted him, he was lying. I felt stupid, I was humiliated. He promised me over and over again that he changed, and I began to trust him… but it was all the same, it was a lie.
And if I didn’t trust him or called him out on why I didn’t trust him, he would get so angry and tell me I was going to tear our family apart and make me feel guilty.
There’a so many reasons. But it all comes down to, I don’t trust any man. I believe that there are good men out there, but I wouldn’t be willing to go through all of that again.
My kids deserved a healthy and happy mom, and staying with him was not it.
#69
So many years spent in an environment of social conditioning that women and men have to look a certain way, have certain things, and achievements in order to be valued, loved, and committed to —and even then so many times partners look for greener grass online and in person —coveting looks over connection.
It’s a real mess. I see a shifting into healing ❤️🩹 and I also see a denial of pain and folks burying the work, denying the real work to appear as something they are not, then when they finally cannot hold it in any longer the truth comes out and the effects of being manipulated and lied to are so heavy.
Be interested in loving yourself and learning yourself until the surrender and the shadow integrates into your whole being —be whole, and then you may find who you truly resonate with and that person may bring you even deeper into your healing and loving journey which is not an easy road. Be strong and be devoted to you. You deserve it
#70
Men are mostly train wrecks !! I found that younger men are more attentive!! I’m 63 and I can not for the life of me find an emotional available man my age !!
#71
I’m newly single. I don’t know how long it will be before I really put myself back out there, but I’m going to be more careful this next go. I just got out of a relationship with a narcissist and he really messed me up. I’m 38 and 22 years of my life, I’ve been mentally and emotionally abused by men.
#72
Use and a***e. Mind games, dating games, lies, secrets. I don’t need the drama or the bullsh**. I’m in my peaceful place alone. That’s why I divorced after 30 years, to find my peace for the next 30.
#73
being a single mom in the dating market ain’t easy
#74
I was literally stalked in a marriage. And worse. Why would you do that again
#75
I found peace is silence. I found strength in my myself. I found love in nature. Men have used me, abused me and left me for scraps. So it just feels safer alone.
#76
Most men want us to put in 100% while they match that with about 40%. They want the honeymoon experience without doing any work to get there. They seem to think the “independent women” only needs the bare minimum.
I’m at a point- if they can’t ADD to my table. I simply don’t have a seat for them.
#77
I rather come home to peace and my dog, then have to walk egg shells because you don’t know if you are coming home to man who going to ok or yelling and criticizing you all night
#78
I don’t trust myself anymore. Not even that, I don’t trust that most guys are emotionally intelligent and don’t gaslight or manipulate. I’m tired and want to maintain my peace
#79
Cause we have to pay for the mistakes and trauma we didn’t cause and then also have to spend time, energy, money, tears, hospital stays trying to work through the trauma we were never intended to carry.
#80
Also it’s my opinion that these times are calling for growth and evolution and women have always been more interested in this. To heal and grow you need to be in touch with your emotions which men struggle with. If men don’t want to grow they will hold you down so you got to go into solitude. If men want women back they need to heal and grow too. Appreciate the solitude as a chance to grow. Dont be dependant on a woman.
#81
Because many of us got tired of being the emotionally available ones while men stay stuck in emotional adolescence. I gave love a real shot, more than once, but I won’t beg anyone to meet me at the level I live on. If the bar is on the floor, I’d rather be single and fulfilled than drained by a one-sided connection. Some of us are done babysitting grown men.
#82
Men “date” but all they really want is a hookup.
#83
I’m tired of being called “too independent.”
#84
Because I don’t want the continued rejection for my own flaws when theirs are so glaring as well.
#85
I had had two long standing relationships. Both worn me completely out.
#86
Bc most men dont get the help they need. They don't work on themselves to become a better version of themselves. Heck, a lot of them think there's nothing wrong with them and just make excuses or blame us for their crappy behavior, instead of self reflecting and taking accountability.
#87
Men dont want to be in committed relationships. They want situationships. I dont like being led on and then finding out a month or 3 down the line that "oh no, im just doing me, I need to work on myself" when I was invested in him the whole time.
Its a waste of my time, and heartache. Im happy alone. Until someone comes along and shows me the same energy and love. I can pay for myself, I want a partner in life. A lover
#88
Dating and too many letdowns (mostly them not being trustworthy). I gave up and moved to the pasture to live a happy life centered around survival mode and me...
#89
I attract the wrong men
#90
I don’t have it in me to trust again. 17 years later, I’m content with my life.
#91
2 reasons. Trauma from 1, a***e and losing two partners from cancer. And 2 I'm chronically ill and don't have the time to invest in someone else or want to burden anyone else
#92
Too many games. Too much work.
#93
Men hurt. Alone is painful but it’s still less pain
#94
No depth to the man pool. I just keep running into the same "man-issue", only different man. I'm not looking to be a notch on someone's bed post. I want to be loved 100+ different ways by one man, not one way by 100 different men. I spent 20 years begging the wrong man to love me. I'm exhausted. Maybe one day... if the man is right...maybe... not holding my breath.
#95
I’m in LA where there are countless singles on apps, but then you get sucked into a part time job that doesn’t pay anything trying to make connections with flakes, frauds and guys that ghost you before you’ve even met. No thanks! I value my time too much to continue the insanity quote.
#96
feminism pushed equality, which inclined women to become more masculine, which takes women out of their feminine and takes away the reason for a man to be attracted, and to be masculine both… it’s a lose lose for both.
