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Ilona Baliūnaitė

“My Wife Makes Fun Of Me”: 49 Things Men Are Afraid To Admit Because They’ll Be Judged Hard

We may live in a more progressive society, but the traditional notions about gender continue to exist. Men, for example, are expected to uphold their masculinity. The failure to do so may result in unjust criticisms, and the stories you’re about to read are proof of that.

This recent Reddit thread highlighted how conventional gender ideas can be harsh, and the guys revealed how bad it can get. For some, it’s being judged for expressing affection toward a pet. For others, it’s the shaming they get for crying like a baby out of grief.

Scroll through these anecdotes, a lot of which are sad. Feel free to share your own experiences.

#1

I adopted a cat a few weeks ago. I love this thing more than anything. I was starting to think I’m just a rock, incapable of having emotional stake in anything anymore…..but this lil guy is changing my life. I love him, and I would do anything for him. He’s currently lying on my neck as I type this.

#2

I don't have a desire to advance on the career ladder, to have a prestigious job and a six-figure income (or whatever is the European equivalent to that).

I just want an easygoing life. Just being able to enjoy the people and things that matter to me and do a job that gives me joy and purpose.

#3

That I have zero desire to have kids. The whole parental instinct thing is something that I've never felt.

#4

I recently loss my wife to a horrible disease. I learned that nobody in my life was prepared or willing to see me cry. Literally not one person can sit with me in my grief. When I cry, they back away like I’m doing something perverted or shameful. It’s made the loss much, much worse.

#5

I hate sports. I work in health care and I hate all the stupid sports injuries that set kids up for life times of pain and problems. I hate how it pulls money from actual important parts of education. I’m not anti exercise but I’m anti sport. I hate how sports gets more publicity than half the other issues in our society. I hate how it’s the “only way out” for to many people. I hate that a stupid ball is more important than a book.

#6

I love kids but not in a creepy way. My neighbor was the house for all the kids during covid and I loved hearing them play outside every day. All my friends know that I'm a great babysitter (except for the part where we have ice cream for dinner). My genetics and job make it so I shouldn't have my own kids, so I just spoil my friends' kids with loud toys and sugar.

#7

I have a physically disabled 10 year old daughter. Mentally as sharp as a tack. I have 2 other children as well. I've had some serious caregiver burnout here lately and there are days where I just go through the motions. Other days, I just don't want to do it. I feel bad too because the way we connect is through physically caring for her and I don't take much time out to be her dad. I'd never stop doing it, but I'm worn out dudes. And my other kids deserve my love as well. IDK if I believe in God, but if he exists... he's kind of a [jerk].

#8

That sometimes I’m not “fine” at all, I’m just scared that if I say I’m lonely, overwhelmed, or touch starved people will see me as weak or needy and pull away. A lot of us just want a hug, a genuine “are you okay?” and space to be vulnerable without it becoming a joke or a reason to respect us less.

#9

It hurts when women assume I mean them harm.

BOW57:

It makes me feel sad in a kind of powerless way. I am one of only 2 (remaining) men in 4 generations of my family so most of my social circle consists of women. I see how men's behaviours influence every aspect of their lives. I wish I could do more to make other men see women the way they are, as people: equal, strong, with a full and equal personality and sensible, developed brain and everything that comes with it. It is painfully clear that too many men don't see them that way, otherwise they wouldn't act the way they do. But I still feel sad when other women act towards me in the way they need to if they don't know me.

#10

Here's a lighthearted one.

I loathe the fact that playgrounds are socially acceptable only for children. Why can't I, a grown man, just chill on the swings or monkey bars for an afternoon?

Someone should make adult-only playgrounds a thing!

#11

I've been so damaged from military service/private security work AND just relationship betrayal, that I sincerely think I have a place on the spectrum of psychopathy.

My emotions when alone are non existent, I've seen so much and lost so many connections that I legitimately don't care about anyone or myself anymore. I'm only pretending to have emotions.

I'm not trying to sound cool, I'm seeking help as of earlier this year with both psychologist and psychiatrist.

#12

I own a women’s sweater and three women’s T-shirts. They are comfortable as hell, especially the sweater. Got them because the options in the men’s section were ugly as hell and the items I got are not feminine looking, they could pass and pass for unisex.

#13

I hate most men.

I grew up with a total softie of a stay-at-home father, and I am forever grateful for it. It sickens me to see so many objectively bad men pumping out kids and gleefully passing their own trauma down generation after generation after generation. They are the poison of the world, and they've built it up so they're rewarded for it.

#14

I'm a teacher. People hate teachers. Worse, I'm a man that teaches kindergarten. That automatically gets me the side eye.

#15

I like wearing female clothes and wearing make up, and generally pressing “feminine” but I am not a woman, or trans. I’m essentially a reverse tomboy. I have no desire to transition, I’m in a loving marriage with a wife and two kids. I absolutely do NOT associate with LGBTQ+ or “drag queens” and I’m not a feminine man by any means. I do judo, i shoot guns, I’ve been to Afghanistan with the marine corps. I am a god fearing Christian.

I just like the idea of being pretty, in the way you look at a sunset or a painting and go “oh that’s pretty!” And not in the way you go “she’s pretty because she’s a woman”.

#16

I love Anne of green gables, pride and prejudice (the bbc miniseries with Colin firth is the best), kdramas, and so forth.

I hate watching sports.

#17

I recently found out my job will be ending in January. I need to move on and find new employment but I just feel paralyzed. My wife keeps telling me to "be a man" and it destroys me every time.

#18

Probably that I cry a lot. I live by myself and most times when I watch a movie, I’ll cry if something resonates with me. Even a little. I don’t even know why, tbh. Sometimes I’ll lay in bed and tears will come.

No idea what my damage is, but I certainly don’t want people I know knowing that I am a mess.

#19

I don't want to work.

#20

That I love my wife. The amount of weird looks I get from people after a group [complain]-fest about their partners, after I have nothing negative to say about my wife, is astonishing. It feels like the norm is, “that ol’ ball ‘n’ chain at home makes my life hell, she doesn’t cook, clean, and I never [get laid] anymore!” Hate my wife jokes and all that never made sense to me. Like, do people ACTUALLY not like their partners/spouses?

#21

I regularly shed tears because of music or movies.

#22

I like plushies.

#23

I don’t want to be a provider or “man of the house”. I’m already struggling and stressing out providing for myself.

#24

That compliments actually mean a lot to me, even tiny ones.

#25

I like kids, in that i think their energy and enjoyment of life is a welcome relief to the gray world we inhabit. Say this around certain people and they immediately think you're a [creep], sadly.

#26

I'm jealous of the fashion variety women get to enjoy. They can wear pretty much anything a man can, but also get away with a huge variety of dresses, skirts, etc. and get judged far less for conspicuous makeup choices like heavy eyeshadow.

#27

How lonely I am.

#28

How tired I am...

I'm tired of working my life away and providing for a family that seemingly only cares if the wifi works, I'm tired of being everyone's rock, tired of getting phone calls or text messages from everyone asking me for help to do things or needing someone to talk to but incidentally when I call or reach out no one's available. I'm tired of pouring love, energy and attention into a partner that doesn't reciprocate even the slightest bit of affection in return, im tired of giving 2-3hour foot rubs but when i ask for any type of attention "shes tired", I'm tired of always feeling like life is a race I'm being forced to run and I'm always lagging behind regardless of the time, effort and energy I put into it. I'm tired of feeling like I'm banging on the walls screaming for someone to take notice that I'm losing a grip on things and no one seems to care. I'm tired of going to my pcp and telling them that my body is seemingly falling apart but all the test come back fine. I'm tired of telling them I need to see a therapist but my insurance doesn't cover that. I'm tired sleep doesn't fix how tired I am, I'm tired that being tired is tiring all in all I'm just tired.

#29

I’m okay with not being too ambitious.

#30

My favorite type of music is what people would consider to be "white girl music", I turn that off when friends are over because I've been made fun of for the music I listen to enough times that it's easier to just let them choose the music.

#31

I believe a Prius is a perfectly acceptable and logical vehicle to own.

#32

That I also struggle with how to parent our special needs boys and you always telling me I'm not their dad when they're my stepchildren who everyone else has run away from makes me feel [awful].

#33

I sometimes regret having children.

#34

I'd like a hug, please. Something, anything to show that I matter to the people around me beyond a money/labour source.

#35

I once opened up to my partner about how stressed I was being the sole support for her and our 4 children. I was in a dark place. It felt like the whole world was on my shoulders....

She mocked me. Asked if I needed a "pitty party". During an argument a few weeks later, she used it to show that I wasn't a "real man".

That whole "its ok to not be ok" is a great slogan, but i and many other men have seen it to be [nonsense]. Needless to say, I won't be baring my soul to other people again.

#36

That while I enjoy doing the dirty jobs a man will do, I love having manicures and pedicures. I also love a good romantic movie. Also, makeup isn't just for women. I can feel pretty if I want to.

#37

I admit it, but it seems strange for some people to understand that I like being a dad and actually like playing with my kids because they're turning into cool individuals.

#38

I don't have any desire to marry or have children. At all.

I know I'm young. This won't change. I don't care. I don't like kids and I like my alone time.

But no I get argued with anytime I say this.

#39

That when my wife goes away for 4 days to a week, the first couple nights are spent enjoying sprawling out in the bed...but the next two days are more "Ok, she can come home any time now" because it just feels...*wrong* that I'm going to bed without her.

#40

I really like Disney/Pixar movies, I enjoy cookies and milk over beer.

#41

That I fear losing the people I care about most, and it haunts me more than I ever admit.

#42

I love powerful women, like strong body, strong mind, and confident in themselves.

Like pick me up, throw me on the couch get on top of me and kiss me first type of [stuff].

Surprisingly I've been judged for this.

#43

I have like 50 stuffed animals from when I was a kid and if there's ever a house fire and I can only save one thing, it's them. I have a lot of emotional baggage that was softened by having stuffed animals in my bed when I was younger. The least I can do is be thankful to them.

#44

Sometimes when I’m home alone I put on my girlfriend’s hoodie because it smells like her and I just sit on the couch hugging myself like a complete loser.
I’m 32, 195 cm, 105 kg, deadlift 200 kg.

#45

That I as a man enjoy volunteering teaching children and teens. Teaching kids as a man gets you the side eye, doing it for free means you warrant extra scrutiny.

#46

That taking care of my autistic son makes me not want to live.

#47

That I am 28 years old and never been in a relationship.

#48

Sometimes a lil nose pick booger extraction just does me right.

#49

Being a submissive guy.

There's a lot of negative responses to things like not being a bread winner or not being dominant in the relationship / bedroom. Ton of other stupid things too but if I was able to be transparent about things it would make finding a compatible partner a whole lot easier and I don't think from a girls perspective a partner who cooks cleans and is more attentive to needs is a bad thing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

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