Warning! The following contains spoilers from the 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After? episode "May The Force Be With You." Stream it with an HBO Max subscription and read at your own risk!
90 Day Fiancé couple Adnan and Tigerlily Abdelfattah are one of the stranger couples in the franchise. Not many people would expect a married couple who tied the knot the first time they met to last as long as they have, but they are together and expecting a baby on Happily Ever After? Season 9. Tensions are high as they deal with that and Adnan's adjustment to life in the United States, and I feel compelled to discuss how uncomfortable their fights can be.
After writing about how this married 90 Day couple feels destined to appear on a new season of The Last Resort, I'm hoping that if that happens, the therapists address the strange dynamic they have. It made me uncomfortable in the latest episode, though it's not the first time I've noticed.
Tigerlily Talks To Adnan Like He's A Child When They're Fighting
Adnan and Tigerlily got into it once again over whether or not she'll convert to Islam before the birth of their child. It's the classic struggle of 90 Day Fiancé women wanting to marry men from the Middle East and maintain their Western values, and it becomes a problem time and time again. Adnan was upset that Tigerlily was not interested in converting before giving birth, but what was more concerning was how she handled it.
Tigerlily has this odd habit of talking to her husband as though he's a child, whether it comes from explaining how his outbursts are upsetting to her, or asking him what he can do better to fix a problem she has with him. I'm reminded of that past 90 Day cast member Corona Blakey, and her whole tactic of what she called "soft partnering."
Her demeanor really strikes me as condescending, as if she thinks he's not able to understand things on an adult level. Those exchanges have a weirder connotation when it comes to this specific couple, too.
This Tactic Feels Uncomfortable Given The Age Difference Between Them
Tigerlily is 41 years old, while Adnan is 22, not quite half her age. That gap is substantial enough that it's entirely possible that she could be the same age as his actual mother, if not older even. As such, the couple's dynamic is strange, and it seems to be her way of reminding him she's the adult in the situation, such as when he wanted to talk about how the man should be running the household. Not the most equalizing of tones, to say the least.
Now, Adnan does have a historyof flying off the handle on 90 Day Fiancé, and has proven in the past that sage advice from someone older would have been ideal. He fought with Niles Valentine during a tell-all, and I never imagined seeing Niles involved in a confrontation with anyone. It's possible that Tigerlily has to speak to her husband in such a way to legitimately get him to calm down and be more reasonable when emotions are running hot.
Whatever the reasoning is, the sizable age gap between the two makes it hard to watch, and I don't remember couples with similar gaps acting the same way. Even with her other issues, Angela Deem never treated Michael Ilesanmi as though he were a child. I don't think it's going to stop anytime soon, but I do hope that if/when they do attend couples therapy on 90 Day: The Last Resort, that gets brought to their attention.
New episodes of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After? are on TLC on Sundays at 8:00 p.m. ET. I'm ready to see how Adnan and Tigerlily's relationship changes after the baby is born, and if they find a way to get on the same page without these big arguments in every major decision.
