Choosing a power of attorney (POA) is one of the most important legal decisions you’ll ever make. This person has the authority to handle your finances, make healthcare decisions, and act on your behalf if you’re unable to. It’s a role built on trust, but sometimes, that trust is broken or misplaced. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize they’ve chosen the wrong person until damage has already been done. If you’re starting to feel uneasy about your POA, these 9 signs may be your cue to take action and make a change.
1. They’re Not Communicating Clearly or Consistently
One of the first red flags is poor communication. If your power of attorney avoids your calls, withholds updates, or seems vague when discussing financial or healthcare decisions, that’s a serious problem. This person should be transparent and proactive, not secretive. You’re trusting them with major responsibilities, and silence should never be the norm. If communication feels like a one-way street, it’s time to re-evaluate.
2. They Don’t Understand Your Wishes—or Disregard Them
Your POA doesn’t need to agree with every decision you’d make, but they are legally and ethically required to honor your wishes. If they’re constantly questioning your plans or doing what they think is “best” without consulting you, that’s a red flag. This is especially dangerous in healthcare situations, where unwanted treatments or delays could have real consequences. A power of attorney must be a voice for you, not for themselves. If they’re not respecting your autonomy, it’s time to step in.
3. They’re Experiencing Personal Financial Trouble
It may feel uncomfortable to dig into someone else’s money matters, but if your POA is struggling financially, it increases the risk of poor decisions or even financial abuse. Whether it’s maxed-out credit cards, debt problems, or gambling issues, someone with unstable finances may not be in the right mindset to manage yours. Even well-meaning people can slip under pressure. If you suspect your POA’s financial life is in disarray, it’s worth taking a closer look.
4. They’re Making Decisions Without Documentation
A trustworthy POA will always keep records of financial transactions, medical decisions, and legal actions taken on your behalf. If you notice a lack of receipts, signed paperwork, or logs of what’s been done, that’s a serious concern. Lack of documentation can signal negligence—or worse, intentional concealment. Ask to review recent actions they’ve taken. If they hesitate or can’t provide proof, that’s your cue to find someone more accountable.
5. Family Tensions Are Getting Worse
If your power of attorney is creating division or distrust among your loved ones, it’s worth asking why. Are they cutting others out of the loop, showing favoritism, or making decisions that seem self-serving? These dynamics can explode into full-blown family drama—or even legal battles—especially if assets or healthcare are involved. A good POA manages conflict, not creates it. Don’t ignore rising tension just to keep the peace.
6. They Seem Overwhelmed or Unavailable
Serving as someone’s power of attorney can be time-consuming, especially if health issues or financial complexity are involved. If your POA seems too busy, constantly overwhelmed, or simply unavailable when needed, that’s a problem. Life happens, but your legal needs shouldn’t take a back seat. A burned-out or distracted POA may make mistakes or delay decisions when it matters most. It’s okay to switch to someone with more time and mental bandwidth.
7. You Chose Them Out of Obligation, Not Confidence
Sometimes people choose a spouse, child, or sibling out of guilt or family pressure, not because they’re truly the best fit. If your gut tells you they’re not up to the task, don’t ignore that feeling. A power of attorney should be someone you trust to act with integrity, clarity, and calm—even in high-stress situations. If your original decision was based on emotion rather than logic, it’s not too late to correct it.
8. You’ve Had a Major Life Change
Big life events—like a divorce, remarriage, death in the family, or a move to another state—can affect your POA’s ability to serve. Someone who was once the right fit may no longer live nearby, have the capacity, or share your current values. Laws also vary by state, and outdated documents can cause legal confusion. If your life has changed significantly, your estate plan—including your POA—should change with it.
9. You Just Don’t Feel Comfortable Anymore
Even if you can’t pinpoint a specific problem, trust your instincts. If something feels off or if your confidence in your power of attorney has eroded, that’s a valid reason to make a change. This isn’t about hurting feelings—it’s about protecting yourself and your future. You are legally allowed to revoke and reassign power of attorney at any time, as long as you’re mentally capable. Your peace of mind matters more than someone else’s opinion.
Trust Should Never Be Optional in Your Estate Plan
Your power of attorney is supposed to protect you, not leave you second-guessing every decision. If any of these warning signs sound familiar, it’s time to take a closer look. Choosing the right person isn’t just about legal compliance—it’s about trusting someone with your life, health, and finances. Reassigning your POA doesn’t mean you failed—it means you’re paying attention. Your future is worth protecting, and the right person will honor that responsibility with care.
Have you ever had to change your power of attorney, or wished you had sooner? Share your story in the comments to help others make smarter decisions.
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