Writing a will is supposed to make things easier for your loved ones. But sometimes, the way marriage clauses are written in wills can cause more problems than they solve. These clauses can spark arguments, create confusion, and even lead to court battles. If you’re married, remarried, or thinking about how your assets will be divided, you need to know how these clauses work. Understanding the risks can help you avoid family drama and protect your wishes. Here are nine marriage clauses in wills that have led to unexpected conflict—and what you can do to avoid the same mistakes.
1. The “Remarriage Forfeiture” Clause
Some wills say a spouse loses their inheritance if they remarry. The idea is to keep assets in the family, but this clause often backfires. It can make a surviving spouse feel trapped or punished for moving on. Adult children may push for enforcement, while the new spouse feels left out. This clause can also be challenged in court, especially if it seems unfair or outdated. If you’re thinking about using a remarriage forfeiture clause, talk to a lawyer about the possible fallout. There are better ways to protect your assets without causing resentment.
2. “Marriage Approval” Requirements
Some wills require heirs to get approval before marrying, or they risk losing their inheritance. This clause is usually meant to prevent “unsuitable” marriages, but it rarely works as intended. It can create tension between parents and children, and it’s hard to enforce. Courts may strike down these clauses if they seem to restrict personal freedom. If you want to encourage good choices, have honest conversations instead of putting conditions in your will.
3. “Spouse Must Remain Unmarried” to Inherit
This clause says a spouse only gets their share if they never remarry. It’s similar to the remarriage forfeiture clause, but even stricter. It can leave a surviving spouse in a tough spot, especially if they’re young. Family members may argue over what counts as “remarriage” or try to monitor the spouse’s personal life. This clause often leads to bitterness and legal challenges. If you want to provide for your spouse, consider a trust or other arrangement that doesn’t control their future choices.
4. “Marriage Within a Certain Faith” Clauses
Some wills say heirs must marry within a specific religion to inherit. These clauses are meant to preserve family traditions, but they can cause deep divisions. Heirs may feel pressured to choose between love and money. Courts sometimes uphold these clauses, but they can also be challenged as discriminatory. If faith is important to you, talk to your family about your values instead of relying on legal restrictions.
5. “Marriage to a Specific Person” Clauses
Rare but real, some wills name a specific person as an heir who must marry to receive their inheritance. This almost always leads to conflict. The named person may not want to marry the heir, or the heir may feel manipulated. These clauses are usually thrown out by courts, but not before causing family drama. If you want to support a particular relationship, do it while you’re alive. Don’t use your will to force someone’s hand.
6. “Spousal Election” Clauses
A spousal election clause lets a surviving spouse choose between what’s in the will and what state law provides. This can create confusion if the will isn’t clear. Family members may argue over what the spouse is entitled to, especially if there are stepchildren involved. These disputes can drag on for years. If you use a spousal election clause, make sure your will is clear and up to date. Review it after major life changes, like remarriage or the birth of a child.
7. “Conditional Gifts Based on Marriage Status”
Some wills give gifts only if the heir is married, or only if they’re single. This can create resentment among siblings and lead to accusations of favoritism. It can also be hard to define what counts as “married” in today’s world. If you want to support your heirs, consider gifts that aren’t tied to their relationship status. This approach avoids unnecessary conflict and keeps your intentions clear.
8. “Disinheritance for Marrying a Certain Person”
This clause says an heir loses their inheritance if they marry someone the will-maker dislikes. It’s often aimed at preventing gold-diggers or family feuds, but it rarely works. Heirs may hide relationships or challenge the will in court. These clauses can tear families apart and leave lasting scars. If you have concerns about someone’s partner, talk to your family directly. Don’t use your will as a weapon.
9. “Marriage-Triggered Trusts”
Some wills set up trusts that only pay out when an heir gets married. The idea is to help with wedding costs or starting a new life. But this can backfire if an heir doesn’t want to marry or feels pressured. Siblings may argue over fairness, and the trustee may struggle to interpret the rules. If you want to help your heirs, consider flexible trusts that don’t depend on marriage.
Protecting Your Wishes Without Creating Conflict
Marriage clauses in wills can seem like a good idea, but they often create more problems than they solve. The best way to protect your wishes is to keep things simple and clear. Talk to your family about your values and concerns. Update your will regularly, especially after major life changes. And always get legal advice before adding complex clauses. A well-written will can protect your loved ones and your legacy, without causing unnecessary conflict.
Have you seen a marriage clause in a will cause problems? Share your story or thoughts in the comments below.
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