Motherhood is not easy, and few people would probably be foolish enough to think otherwise. But while that’s no secret, some things regarding surviving parenthood—like hacks, tips and tricks—are often kept behind closed doors.
Some women on the internet recently opened the doors wide open. After a discussion was started on Threads, they shared some of their most unhinged hacks and the most feral things they do to survive motherhood. (It’s safe to assume that for some moms, that must have felt like a breath of fresh air.) So if you’re curious to learn what their tricks are, scroll down to find their comments on the list below, but keep in mind that moms have to deal with the most demanding bosses of all time on a daily basis, so cut them some slack.
#1
I created a “family reset hour” every Saturday. I told everyone: no screens, no chores, no talking to mom unless it’s an emergency. It’s for everyone’s mental health.
Reality? The kids read or play, my 13-year-old chills, and I lock myself in the bedroom with headphones, a snack stash, and an audiobook. No guilt, no pretending just boundaries disguised as self care for them. But really? It’s for me.
Image credits: gentlestrongmom
#2
When my kids can’t sleep at night I tell them they can stay up as long as they help do chores. They’re usually willing to do something without fighting. They put clean laundry away, dust, clean grout (toothbrush, cup of water and baking soda), wipe cupboards, mop, tidy..they do a couple of things, then I put send them back to bed
Image credits: nonamer915
#3
Nigerian mothers had this thing they called 'Arodan' that was done back when children were raised by the community and things were safer. Mom sends her kid to another neighbour mom and tells her kid to ask for Arodan. Kid doesn't know what it means but said neighbour knows it means 'im tired and I need some time off' and neighbour knows to keep child waiting, like 'wait and I'll prepare it, or go to so and SO's mom, for it'. child is on a wild goose chase that doesn't end until he's tired
Image credits: klaudiah
#4
When they're having a toddler tantrum, I would howl, which makes the dog howl, and then the kids howl. By the time it quiets down, they forget why they were upset.
Image credits: ellemdrewwrites
#5
We live in Japan and close to Ishikawa so we felt the Jan 1 2024 earthquake very strongly and the dozens of aftershocks after. To keep my son (and me) from being scared, I told him when the ground shakes, it’s Totoro jumping for joy.
Image credits: djmisty
#6
This was 3 months postpartum but I straight up got a hotel room. I was cracking under the pressure and I told my hubs that I just need ONE night of full sleep, good sleep, and some room service. It did me a world of good.
Image credits: erinmarkland
#7
I made our GoogleHome (like Alexa) the bad guy on schedules & chores. We all agreed at family meeting that X things/chores needed to happen every week, & scheduled them out in the app. Google calls the kids out by name & what they need to be handling & I’m no longer the recipient of their whining or things just not getting done cause I don’t have the bandwidth for pushback.
Image credits: kari_lynn
#8
I told my adolescent daughter that everything will feel better if you sit on the couch and eat some cheesecake while wearing a tiara and a prom dress. We had very few meltdowns and we still do it.
Image credits: yesitsmyrealhair_og
#9
When I’m by myself and trying to get out of the house and the baby is begging to be held I throw cheerios onto the floor and let her crawl around to get them like a chicken
Image credits: lakedodson
#10
It's not that crazy, but taking pictures of stuff they want at the store "so that I can send them to santa" really works. They might pose with 20 different toys before we leave, but we get out without tantrums
Image credits: abbey.storm
#11
When my kids aren’t listening and I feel like I’m going to start yelling, I sing instructions at them in an opera voice instead.
Image credits: astoryofhome
#12
Just calling off work for the day and not telling anyone else in the household. Just letting them think I went to work and came back. When really I was eating breakfast at a diner alone, shopping, drinking tea at a tea house, taking nice long drives, listening to podcasts, etc.
Image credits: ohmyhollyohmyholly
#13
When my daughter was 3 months old I formed a punk band. That way I had to leave the house at least twice a week for practice, and I sure as heck couldn’t take the baby with me. Hubs had to do his share, and I got to scream my guts out.
Image credits: cowpunkmom
#14
Sometimes I give my kids a meal in the shower when I’ve had a long day, my husband is at work, and I just can’t find it in me to actually cook. We call it shower-cuterie. It’s just random finger foods that can get a little wet and still be basically fine- cheese, salamie, fruit & veggies, etc. They love it and afterwards I just scoop the pieces they dropped out and hose down the rest with the hand shower. There’s no dishes, and they end up clean too. Is this unsanitary? Probably. Do I care? No.
Image credits: emily.karlis
#15
When I can tell my kids aren't listening, I shift the conversation to alien abduction until they notice. Sometimes I talk about alien abduction to myself for a solid 5 minutes, but the creativity of trying to keep the same cadence of giving them directions while talking about something completely ridiculous has given my own brain moments of levity and fun when I'm otherwise exasperated.
Image credits: ktsancken_writer
#16
2 things:
In the summer, I always took my kids to the evening swim (6-8) at our community pool. Before leaving, each kid takes a quick (swimsuit on) shower with shampoo. Arriving home, we’d dry off, put on PJs, have a snack, relax a bit then go to bed. They were clean (enough), tired and ready for bed.
2nd, a crying toddler will stop crying if offered a drink. You can’t cry and swallow at the same time. A little water or juice, the action of swallowing equals a calmer child.
Image credits: meganpreciado
#17
Joined a gym that had a daycare with a cheap hourly rate. The nicest staff of young girls who loved kids. Just to sit and drink coffee and read. Never worked out.
Image credits: elevationmortgageyyc
#18
One time I was in a museum with my daughter when she was maybe 4. I was super into it but she wasn't. So to keep her occupied I told her to count all the naked butts she could see in each room. This game ended up keeping her entertained through the great museums of the world and taught her math
Image credits: fakingitindenmark
#19
Divorce their father who did nothing to help me.
Image credits: down_w_the_patriarchy
#20
I don’t want gifts for holidays focused on me. I want a hotel night alone in a room. That’s it. Been going strong 4 years now. Eff them flowers and chocolates. Keep your hallmark. King size me and send me room service.
Image credits: kayc316
#21
When my kids aged into adult sized socks. I bought 50 pairs of the same socks. No more matching! Just pick 2 socks people.
Image credits: whatwouldjeanado
#22
I’m submitting not mine, but my own mother’s: when we were kids she would send us outside with buckets of water and paintbrushes and tell us to “paint” the driveway. We spent hours out there
Image credits: lovelorimichelle
#23
Order my groceries online for pick up but not tell hubby, then tell him I'm off to do the groceries, so that buys me 2 hours to do whatever I want and just pick up the already done groceries on the way home.
Image credits: leanda_griffiths
#24
Leave my kid in the tub as long as they want and just chill while they’re in there lol. I can get myself an 1-1.5hr like this. Kid has to be old enough that this is ok, and water level low enough. Keep the door open so I can hear everything. Only works if they’re able to bathe independently
Image credits: safi.ethereal
#25
We have “leave me alone” nights where my kids go to their room early and aren’t allowed to leave. They get screentime, I bring them their dinner/snacks, and we all enjoy alone time that makes us excited to spend time together the next day. We spend most of our evenings hanging out so the occasional “leave me alone” night is much needed.
Image credits: haleycoopstrom
#26
When the floor is covered in toys I tell my toddler I’m thinking of one toy in my head and she has to pick up all her toys and put them away and when she picks up the one I’m thinking of she wins a prize. It’s always the last toy
Image credits: hamberger709
#27
My kids go to bed in their school clothes for the next day. One less fight in the mornings.
Image credits: meganirvin
#28
Not unhinged (at least I don’t think so), but totally works in desperate moments— I pull the dining room chairs back a bit from the table, drape blankets over the table & chairbacks, and voila: instant fort. Give them flashlights, and they’re suddenly interested in all the quiet activities — books, puzzles, and whatnot — that can be done inside.
Image credits: amburger51
#29
Role reversal. When I'm fed up, I make my oldest "be the mom" and I act absolutely unhinged - just like her. She loves correcting me and I get to blow off some steam.
Image credits: simplyminimallyme
#30
“Only one kid gets to cry at a time” rule which they thought was hilarious
Image credits: kellyaengland
#31
I have days where I just CANNOT hear the word mom one more time. When that happens, we start the 'call her anything but' game. At which point, I will respond to "Brandy" (my actual name), "bruh" or "dude" from my teen and 10 yo old, or my all time fave: "your highness"... Which my 7 yr old loves!
Image credits: she_used_to_write
#32
My 3-year-old nephew refused to hold an adult's hand when crossing the street. I told him I was terrified to cross by myself and could he please help me? He waited for me at every street corner!
#33
I’m not a mom, but I was a nanny and I’ve shared this with people.
You know that really fun toddler age when they still need a nap but refuse to take one? I tell them I’ll set a timer for 5-10 minutes and if it goes off and they’re still awake they don’t have to take a nap. But while the timer is going they have to lay really still with their eyes closed. I start the timer, let it run for a little bit then pause it and if they ask I tell them they still have X more minutes.
Image credits: d.e.bush
#34
Spray bottle walks. I give him an entirely full spray bottle of water and he has free rein to spray anything on our walk. I bring a back up bottle. Easiest way to kill 45 minutes, get outside, walk around. Sometimes to make it interesting, I bring one of the continuous mist spray bottles. Bonus, this is great for fine motor skills!!
Image credits: alissadawnhendrix
#35
Put toddler in giant cardboard box with a bunch of crayons and let them go to town. They are occupied and can’t get out, so you can get stuff done.
#36
I would allow him to “steal” chopped up vegetables and fruit while I was cooking dinner. He loved it ! He thought he was getting away with something sneaky. He’d grab, stuff them in his mouth and run off giggling.
#37
When they make you want to clench your jaw and fists and scream in rage…. Car wash! Everybody in the tub, and then spray the kids with the shower head. It starts out feeling violent, so it quells the rage. Then it’s fun because they can’t quit laughing.
And then they don’t need a bath later. All I do is win.
Image credits: story.time.with.katie
#38
I've had bad days and I've broken down crying on the floor in front of my toddler. Every time, she's gives me her water bottle and says "mama, have some water to calm your body down. Let's take deep breaths" and then she demonstrates deep breaths. She reminds me that I must be getting something right and I can pull myself together
Image credits: queen_jordie
#39
My favorite one was telling my kids the tooth fairy pays on a sliding scale depending on how clean they are. This means they brush extra well when a tooth is loose and I don't have to explain why the amount paid varries. Because I don't carry cash and it's usually a scramble to find enough when it happens.
#40
When the dog is crazy and the kid is crazy, I give the kid a piece of cheese and tell her to run away. The dog'll chase her and they'll have fun for 20 minutes, tiring each other out.
Image credits: elinanryytimaa
#41
My mom, aunt, and grandma all had a small spray bottle of “monster spray” (water) for my cousin to spray under his bed and in his closet so he would go to sleep at night.
#42
I went to the YMCA and checked the babies into childcare just so I could sleep in the sauna
Image credits: nancyjanefrench
#43
We leave our kids’ kindles outside their doors with a snack on weekend mornings so we can sleep a little longer. Works like a charm most days.
Image credits: eatwhatfeelsgood
#44
We have ‘sleep medicine’. I was horrified one morning when I picked my kids up from my mums after a sleepover and they told me they’d had medicine to help them go to sleep. Turns out my mum gave them a spoonful of juice concentrate and told them it was ‘sleep medicine’. Went straight to sleep after taking it . I’ve used the trick several times too. It’s all in their heads!
Image credits: l.robbo1975
#45
I used to tell them that I had a direct contact line with Santa. Any time they were a bully to each other, all I had to say to them was, " Hello Santa,". It worked every time.
Image credits: slowlybecomingabetterme93914
#46
My youngest likes medicine so she’s always telling me she’s sick at bedtime. I have her wait in the living room while I bring her a spoonful of pickle juice. She takes it and goes right to bed.
#47
My dad did this with me and I’ve been waiting for my moment to shine and be unhinged and I got it! You know that toddler tantrum in the shops where they just think “screw this I’m throwing myself on the floor till I get what I want” little did bossy baby know mam threw herself on the floor too and pretended to throw a tantrum just like him, the speed that he got up and ran to his dad because of embarrassment will forever live rent free in my head, worked with me and him 20 years later
#48
There were some weeks in 2020 where I inflated our air mattress, leaned it up on the couch, and it became a slippery climbing wall for my then 2.5 year old. Hourrrrrs of climbing entertainment
#49
Sometimes I pretend they're not mine. It's way easier to not care about the mess or nutrition or schedules, if you're just the fun aunty who's watching them for an afternoon.
Image credits: stuffsarahsnapped
#50
I saw a vid from someone about pretending like you time travelled to this moment as a way to appreciate all the small things as fond memories. It really helps. Act nostalgic about anything they’re doing. “Oh that yelling. I miss when they lived at home.” It sounds insane but it absolutely works
#51
I don’t listen to kids music in the car even when they are in the car. My four year old knows the f word but it’s self care for me.
#52
We do "book dinner" collectively eating dinner while reading our books because sometimes I need 30mins with no one bothering me.
#53
I got a gym membership to a fancy gym. They have a cafe, massage rooms, outside pools, etc. My kids would go to the kid rooms to play and do crafts. I would sit in the cafe and enjoy lunch by myself and read. I never worked out.
#54
I have an emergency cheese stash. Is everyone cranky? Bust out the cheddar slices. Am I a weepy mess? That’s a brie situation. Need a reset? Small parmesean hunk. My children will now request cheese to regulate. Weirdest mental health fix.
#55
Give them a pair of kid’ scissors, and tell them their job is to “cut the grass” while I sit in a deck chair in peace.
#56
Put a bunch of his dinosaurs in a huge bowl with water, freeze over night, the next day take it out. Give him warm water with droppers, spray bottle and paint brushes to rescue them. Takes 30 min to an hour to get them all out.
#57
In the middle of a screaming tantrum i just started vacuuming. I mean everything. The sound of the vacuum drowned out the whining/ crying and I ended up with a clean house. Toddler was quiet about halfway through when I was no longer responding
#58
Fudge. Like- don’t watch, yes it’s all mine, copious, obscene, outrageous amounts of chocolate fudge.
Image credits: nicolewalters
#59
IKEA free childcare . Drop the kids. Hand in the IKEA cafe for an hour and have coffee and cinnamon rolls.
#60
The car wash!!!
I swear by it, they can be locked in their seats so they are safe and you can spray the s**t out of the vehicle and chill for a minute while being able to see them.
#61
The downstairs TV remote gets “lost” (hidden in my wine cabinet) fairly often, when I’m overstimulated and can’t handle extra noise downstairs.
#62
My toddler was throwing a 15 minute screaming fit. I decided “can’t beat him, join him” so I just plopped down on the ground next to him. He was confused, then concerned, then proceeded to wrestle around with me until he forgot I wouldn’t let him eat dog food
#63
Once I told my kid that eating vegetables makes you taste gross to monsters. It worked for that night.
#64
I handed my 6yr old and 2yr old a jar of peanut butter & jelly, a loaf of bread and a pitcher of juice, sent them outside to the fenced in backyard and told them that this was now their house because they disrespected the one with their bedrooms in it. I locked the door, then watched them through the living room window, as they went from thoughts of independence and freedom to desperation to be let back into the house. That 42 min lesson lasted all summer
#65
Tell my daughter to meet me downstairs to deep clean her room. She disappears. Get an hour of uninterrupted time.
#66
Lie face down on the sofa and close eyes. Tell kid to set toys on your butt so you can guess which one it is. Child is amused, I get to lie down with my eyes closed playing “what’s on my butt!?”
#67
My toddler liked ripping paper so one time when I needed time out I gave her a pack of toilet paper and left her to it. She shredded about 3 rolls before she got bored.
#68
Turn up the music in the car to help me ignore arguing
#69
To get them to go to sleep I change the language on the tv and tell them they’re too tired to understand it
#70
I keep a crate of old pottery and dishes to smash against the back shed when I'm feeling ragey. I scream profanities and rage laced insults at them while hurl them against the shed.
#71
My son likes hide and seek so I tell him to hide while I quietly count up to 1000.
#72
Sometimes we play hide and seek and I simply do not seek. I always know exactly where she is and she thinks she’s winning, but I’m the real winner
#73
I placed a pick up order, left the house and sat in the target parking lot listening to my audiobook, scrolled through socials, and caught up on some things for about an hour or so while my toddler napped. Picked up my order as soon as it was ready and drove home just as he woke up.
#74
Let him touch the glitter. Postpartum with a 2.5 year old and 6 month old.
My brain said- just let it sparkle.
#75
I had a colicky baby and she just kept crying dad was at work I had a toddler and a 5 yr old. I called 911 and told them I was going to snap. They came put the baby to sleep fed the big ones and told me laid down too.
#76
When my son turned five I informed him about The Utensil Police. If you didn't use a fork, he would be arrested.
#77
I told my child that after she turned 3, if she pooped in her diaper then the friendly poopy monster would want to try to get it out of her diaper to take back to his poop castle. But if she did it in the potty then it would be sent right to him and he wouldn’t come to find it. She was immediately potty trained with zero effort on my part.
#78
Serve lunch on the open dishwasher front as if it is a tiny table. Kids sit around it on the floor and eat. Then put the dishes in and the whole "table" washes itself.
#79
Rip 3 holes into a diaper wipe and put it on my face for a quick face mask.
#80
I turn on the roomba and let my 1 year old run from it for a while, usually until she starts crying then I swoop in and save her and she plays quietly with her toys for at least twice as long as normal.
