We love to gossip and speculate about other couples to the point where it becomes like a hobby. Sometimes, those talks totally miss the mark. But other times, they prove to be more accurate than a tarot reading.
So when a Reddit thread asked people to share the biggest giveaways that a relationship is heading towards a breakup, a bunch of fortunetellers chimed in with their expertise.
The responses vary from public disagreements to addictions, and many of them line up with what research says. In fact, a 2025 study suggests that relationships often start declining one to two years ahead of a breakup, meaning outsiders may spot the cracks well before the couple themselves does.
#1
A guy I'm acquainted to posted on Facebook that "a real man loves his wife despite" followed by a huge list of flaws related to having aged and given birth, like stretch marks and weight gain. His wife was in her early thirties, weighed 110 pounds soaking wet, easily a 9/10, maybe an 8/10 if you harshly judged all her flaws. He got loads of likes and support from guys at his church and all I could think was "my man, you just told hundreds of people that you see your borderline model wife as being fat, tired, and stretched out." Unsurprisingly they were separated a few months later.
Image credits: Pure_Ingenuity3771
#2
When one partner does ALL the compromises then lives a life they didn't want.
xenchik:
Sometimes people judge me for leaving my husband instead of going with him. But to move to the Middle East, where I would have no friends, family, or job; where I wouldn't initially know the language and would have trouble even making new friends, and where he basically said that while I was unemployed I could "at least keep the house clean".
It's not so much that I couldn't handle that life for a soulmate. It was more that I realised I wasn't actually soulmates with a guy who saw absolutely no issue with any of the above, because after all, he'd be "making heaps of money". I don't care about money. He does. I had never known it before this. We're simply incompatible.
Image credits: GardenGorl44
#3
During my wedding my Dad turned to my Mother and said "They aren't going to make it."
His reasoning was during the first dance, she was looking around and posing for pictures. Making sure everybody got good shots, so I was sort of following her lead. Just smiling at people with cameras and whatnot.
We divorced just over a year later.
When my Mom told me about it I asked my Dad why he knew. And he said during what was supposed to be our first act as a married couple she was only concerned about looking good in pictures and he knew at that moment we weren't right for each other.
I've been married to my real (I don't like saying "current") wife for almost 21 years and we never even had a wedding. She didn't want to waste the money. I'm her first and only marriage. .
Image credits: sebrebc
#4
When they make fun of or are disinterested in their partner’s “little things”.
My husband loves Marvel, Pokémon, NFL, Star Wars, and anime (to name a few) and personally, those are not my interests. But I always ask him questions and listen to his rants about football or the crazy thing that happened in his anime. I just pay attention and remember things because I love him. He in turn always listens to me talk about piano, crocheting, excel sheets, true crime documentaries, etc.
When someone rolls their eyes or makes fun of their partner’s interests it’s a huge red flag.
#5
When one partner is disdainful of the other. It’s the [end] of the relationship. Pack it up. It’s not going to make it.
inannaberceuse:
I can attest to that. Your partner can feel your disdain by the way. It’s palpable.
Image credits: fragmnt
#6
They started as affair partners.
Image credits: BeautifulMurky6573
#7
One wants a baby, the other doesn’t, then they have a baby….
InevitableAd9683:
My ex wife told me (after marriage) she expected I'd change my mind and want kids once we got married. I didn't.
Image credits: tachycardicIVu
#8
When they've only been dating for three months but have "already had plenty of ups and downs, like any relationship."
Rommel79:
When I was in grad school I knew a couple that started couples therapy within a month of dating. I guess the s*x must have been mind-blowing because that should have been such a red flag it isn't even funny.
Image credits: JohnnyFootballStar
#9
Frequent break ups and then they get back together.
#10
One of them wants to open the relationship. Sure didn't go well when my ex tried it.
Image credits: ContingentMax
#11
When one partner doesn’t feel they can talk to the other about issues in the relationship for fear the other will get angry or defensive.
Image credits: Kind-Dust7441
#12
Having a baby to bring them closer together. I worked with a woman that always complained about her marriage and one day she said this. I accidently laughed out loud and had to leave the room. Nothing like a 24/7 stress machine to help save an already troubled marriage.
Image credits: HumpieDouglas
#13
Couples therapist here…these are some typical big red flags, but I will say that any and all of these issues can be worked on if people are willing to address them:
Not allowing the other partner (or each other) to have lives beyond the relationship.
Being threatened by growth on the part of the other partner.
Refusing to set boundaries with their own families around a*****e behavior (e.g. allowing your mom to talk s**t about your partner, expecting your partner to just deal with it bc “they’re family”…etc.).
Refusal to own your part in conflicts and/or perpetuation of conflicts.
No personal boundaries (thinking it’s ok to go through someone’s phone, etc.).
Image credits: LucyJordan614
#14
Same way I judge a teammate. If they don’t back each other they won’t make it. No I don’t mean always agree or lie that they agree with each other. Talking more about each pulling their weight and stepping up for the other when needed.
#15
I went to one wedding where the bride refused to say "for richer or poorer" during the vows. I don't know how the hell they didn't cover that during all the preparation or rehearsal. Maybe it was supposed to be removed and the minister said it by mistake. Either way it was SUPER awkward when the minister said it and the bride just glared at him and shook her head.
Image credits: Infinite_Ground1395
#16
When they post on reddit, "Should I leave my spouse?" If you're asking that, then chances are that one of you is already done with the relationship.
#17
When they don't want to bring their partner around their friends.
Image credits: ridgegirl29
#18
One being a POS and the other putting up with it "for the kids".
#19
When they come to me to talk about their troubles instead of their partner because their partner doesn't take them seriously or makes them feel stupid for it .
Image credits: radish-salad
#20
If they don’t prioritize each other. Like, mother-in-law goes first before wife. That’s a yikes for me.
Image credits: A-Fickle-Potato
#21
When their relationship is super performative.
UltimaGabe:
Yup. I have two friends on Facebook that used to post nothing but lovey-dovey messages multiple times a day, to a ridiculous extent. We found out the wife had a second account where she was doing the same stuff with some other guy, and eventually she left her husband and a whole mess of kids to go be with that other guy.
(The other guy then messaged every guy on her friends list and threatened them with violence if they didn't unfriend her. Eventually he got on her account and blocked/unfriended every guy that didn't do it themselves.)
Image credits: North_Height_9003
#22
From experience - when one has an over-attached parent and doesn't make the effort to defend their marriage.
Image credits: Even_Regular5245
#23
Cake face smashing at the wedding reception.
dhporter:
I didn't wanna ruin my wife's makeup and we hadn't exactly talked about it before, so I basically took her hand and smashed cake into my own face. The photos are adorable.
Image credits: CoffeeMaker999
#24
Contempt. I’ve seen it in so many relationships that I consider it the most consistent indicator of whether or not the couple will stay together. I remember years ago, this couple I knew was planning their wedding, and the future husband in the couple was a real d**k. He had the emotional regulation of a toddler, combined with main character syndrome. Delightful. Anyway, I remember when I was looking for a wedding gift for them, and my first thought was: Who will get this when they split up? The gift was an espresso and cappuccino maker, and it went to my friend, the wife in the couple.
Bids for connection. This is a concept I learned of recently: “any gesture, verbal or non-verbal, from one person to another that invites or requests the other person's attention, response, or engagement.” Basically your partners is interested in the things that make you happy and acts on that interest. If the bids for connection are denied, ignored, or met with contempt, it undermines the marriage, and it’s very hard to come back from this.
#25
The phrase "keep the peace." If I hear that in a relationship I know it's doomed.
Image credits: limbodog
#26
Having “Work wives” or “ work husbands”.
#27
When the only time they tell their friends about their partner is to complain about them. Either they suck and therefore it won't last because they dont even like their partner, or the complaints are justified and they won't last because the partner sucks.
#28
When a couple has a baby but then suddenly they completely forget to still be a couple, and to make time for each other despite being parents. I know it's easier said than done and it takes effort from both partners. So many couples split up within a year of having a baby, or the couple stays in a loveless marriage and once their kids are grown up, the parents realise they no longer have the distraction of parenthood to hide the fact they don't really love one another anymore. Obviously for this to work, both people must be supportive and present parents who pull their weight in parenthood. Having a baby is time consuming but if you're committed to your partner, you NEED to put in effort to make a relationship last, through good times and bad, through difficult parts of life and the more simple times in life. Even if it's just taking time in the evening to talk or to just be a couple, even when you're tired after a day of parenting, but relationships are effort. Or even trying to go on a date night as often as possible, if you can't afford a babysitter, set up a date night at home once your kids are asleep.
#29
Criticising each other in front of others.
#30
Constant posts online about how in love and perfect they are together.
#31
People who get partner's name tattoo never stay togethe.
Also name tattoos I swear are cursed.
Image credits: pandarose6
#32
Look at the Gottman’s 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse:
- Criticism
- Contempt
- Defensiveness
- Stonewalling.
#33
They don't have those little moments of being goofy.
#34
When they’re putting in unnecessary overtime at work.
#35
Getting into explosive fights and then making up and saying that relationships take work. When they're still supposed to be in the honeymoon stage.
Image credits: Nice-Web583
#36
Dishonesty with each other.
#37
If they keep score with one another for both their good deeds to each other and past mistakes.
#38
When the wife is a man-hater, or the husband is a woman-hater.
Image credits: Getahaircutandjob
#39
They don’t know how to fight. Or say they have never had a fight. I don’t mean fisticuffs. I mean being able to disagree and even get mad at each other. And express it in a healthy way.
I told that to a friend when she was engaged. You don’t really know until that first fight. She agreed when they had their first fight. I don’t know how much longer until they divorced.
I’m not perfect. My husband and I fought especially in the beginning. We had to learn how to be mad and still show respect and love.
#40
Joint Facebook account.
The8thCorsair:
Nothing says "I cheated" better than that
#41
When one of them seems to be raising an adult child.
Like, the other one will only talk to their partner in group settings, and expect the other to do everything for them and to only be with them all the time.
#42
These are all too normal.
Mine is when I see the lady in a hetero relationship start publicly commenting and liking rings and engagement stuff.
When she wants it that bad and she has to publicly hint over and over, I don’t think he really wants to.
#43
The more expensive the wedding, the shorter the marriage.
#44
When they roll their eyes every time their partner talks.
#45
When they don't even trust one another to the point they have to share the same Facebook, tiktok, Snapchat etc. Cringe.
Image credits: Horror-Savings1870
#46
When they stop fighting altogether. Not because they’re happy- because they’ve given up.
#47
Arguing in public loudly enough to cause a scene. It’s a sign that you’re willing to embarrass yourself just to yell at your partner. And if you’re willing to do that… why are you still with them?
#48
It's that fundamental lack of respect, where one person's dreams are constantly dismissed. You can't build a future if one person is always sacrificing theirs. Those "ups and downs" early on are just a preview of a miserable marathon.
#49
They don't discuss important things like money handling (joint/separate/combo bank accounts, how they'll split bills or not), having kids/how many if they want them, future job goals, where they want to be in the future geographically, and many other things that they are clueless about the other partner's views/expectations. Undisclosed mental/health issues.
#50
They don’t laugh together.
#51
When one partner obsessively talks about another person who is not their partner.
#52
Arguing over who "wears the pants." I knew the instant I saw these two teenagers arguing about that, that it wasn't going to last.
I was right.
#53
When she posts, “if you want to keep your man happy, you need to let him sleep with other women.”
Ouch. Projecting much?
#54
When one person constantly ignores red flags and the other pretends everything’s fine. Nothing screams ‘doomed’ louder than that.
#55
Jealousy/trust issues. I see so many posts here that are like 'my boyfriend insists that he must know where I am at all times' or whatever, and it's just crazy to me. If you trust them then why are you worried about what they're doing? If you don't trust them then why are you in a relationship with them?
#56
When they have to start disinviting people from the wedding because so many of their friends are voicing their objections.
#57
I know a couple that track each other on their phones, they made a promise they wont have any other screensavers but photos of each other, not even couple photos just a photo of each other, he has to go to bed at the same time as her or wait until she falls asleep if he wants to go on his phone or watch tv, any social events must be together with mutural friends.
They are still together so far but i wont be shocked the day they arent.
#58
When the slightest little issues has them arguing for hours.
#59
When they frequently talk or post about how much better/mature/deep their relationship is than other peoples' relationships. Never seen a relationship like that stand the test of time (disclaimer: I'm sure there's exceptions to this, like everything, but in my personal experience, I haven't seen it).
#60
When they look through each other’s phones. My bf & I have each other’s password but I’m not looking through his messages, let alone anything. I have my own phone bro.
#61
An unforgiving partner.
#62
At the wedding, the best man retelling stories of xxx debauchery with the overwhelming approval of the groom.
The place went silent with all the old aunts and grandparents sitting there shocked.
Not being able to read the room the rest of the groomsmen lined up to tell their stories as well.
The Dj finally cut off the mic and everyone tried to forget it happened.
They broke up 4 months later.
#63
Arguing loudly during their one year anniversary at the local Applebee's.
#64
When they talk s**t about each other behind their partners' backs.
Image credits: ShadowedMystique
#65
When they're both in love with one of them.
#66
"We fight all the time but it's because we love each other/I can't live without them..." something along those lines. Insisting that fighting constantly healthy communication.
#67
When they got married in July and just moved in with each other last week.
Wife's friend and her now husband got married. Stayed in separate hotel rooms the night following their wedding. Lived in the same town, but didn't live together because there was construction going on at their new house (a pool install), and his condo was "icky".
#68
When one of them is clearly jealous of the other and making it their partner’s fault.
#69
Repeated signs of resentment and/or disrespect…doesn’t bode well.
#70
Laughing at each others’ misfortunes. I.e. wow my husband is such a d*****s, he got a speeding ticket this morning. Hahahahhaa.
#71
Being unable to communicate properly at all.
#72
If their whole bond is just fighting and making up on repeat.
#73
I recently had a friend who lied to their now husband about their eviction notice before getting married. she lied that it was out of her control, not because she couldnt make her rent payment.
her line was “its ok because now i have [her husband] and everything is going to be fine”
he developed a coke a*******n with her also and lost his job at a university that she was going to attend for free when they got married because of it. they lived in a la quinta paying daily while they looked for a house to buy.
they have been only dating for less than 6 months before getting engaged.
#74
They call each other king or queen.
#75
Never touching.
#76
The audience at a Jerry Springer taping.
#77
Insulting the partners family, especially ones they're close to or kids.
#78
When their libidos are completely different. I’m talking one is basically asexual and the other has a normal if not higher libido. Destined to fail eventually.
Complete personality change from a more positive and happier way of being to just misery and negativity all the time.
#79
Constant aggressive arguments.
#80
They make less eye contact.
