Yes, according to the website of US news channel CBS13 ("Sacremento's source for breaking news, weather and traffic"), an eight-year-old boy stole his teacher's minivan on monday afternoon and drove it carefully home, instantly becoming Modesto's youngest car thief - we hope by some considerable distance. At the end of the report, the diminutive joyrider's 'mom' reveals his favourite videogame... GTA!
Brilliantly, though, this is no tabloid shock report brimming with 'ban this sick filth' indignation. The site treats the incident with, if anything, lighthearted humour. "You can't do anything but laugh," the boy's teacher apparently told reporters - although she did spend 90 minutes of Tuesday teaching other pupils about the consequences of the choices they make.
At no point does anyone ask, "actually, what was an eight-year-old doing playing GTA?"
Whatever, he can't have been too heavily influenced by Rockstar's adventure game, however. As the story notes:
"In order to operate the Dodge Caravan, he raised the driver's seat, lowered the steering wheel, adjusted the rearview mirror and turned off the radio."
It seems he then resolutely failed to drive it at full-throttle down the wrong side of the road, swerving to hit pedestrians before 'trading in' the homely van for a passing Ford Mustang.
Finally, I enjoyed this statement provided by the teacher:
"This is the smallest child you can ever imagine. I don't think this kid is 4 feet tall. He's tiny; he's the tiniest kid in the class."
Okay, okay, we get the picture! Is this how they build self-respect in the schools of Modesto? No wonder the kids are turning to car crime.
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