
Waking up early sounds like a superpower reserved for CEOs, marathon runners, and that one neighbor who’s always jogging at sunrise. For the rest of us, the quest to become a morning person is a comedy of errors—full of snooze buttons, wild-eyed resolutions, and coffee-fueled optimism. If you’ve ever tried (and failed) to transform into a chipper early riser, you’re not alone. The struggle is real, and it’s often hilarious. But behind the laughter, there’s real value in learning what works—and what definitely doesn’t—when it comes to becoming a morning person. Let’s dive into eight laugh-out-loud attempts, each with a practical takeaway to help you finally win the morning.
1. The “Set 12 Alarms” Strategy
You know you’re not a morning person when your phone’s alarm list looks like a flight schedule. Some people set alarms at five-minute intervals, hoping one will finally do the trick. The result? You become a master at hitting snooze in your sleep, and your partner starts plotting revenge. While this method is common, it rarely works. Instead, try placing your alarm across the room so you have to physically get up to turn it off. This small change can make a big difference in breaking the snooze cycle and actually getting out of bed.
2. The “Sleep in Workout Clothes” Hack
The logic is simple: sleeping in your gym gear will make you more likely to exercise in the morning. In reality, you just wear spandex to bed and still skip the workout. The intention is good, but motivation doesn’t magically appear with moisture-wicking fabric. To make this hack work, pair it with a specific, realistic goal, like a 10-minute walk instead of a full workout. Setting the bar lower can help you build consistency and gradually become a true morning person.
3. The “Coffee IV Drip” Fantasy
Many aspiring morning people dream of a world where coffee is delivered intravenously at dawn. While science hasn’t caught up to this fantasy, relying on caffeine alone isn’t the answer. Overdoing it can lead to jitters and a mid-morning crash. Instead, hydrate first thing with a glass of water, then enjoy your coffee as a reward for getting up. This approach helps you start your day with energy, not dependency.
4. The “Motivational Playlist” Overload
Blasting your favorite pump-up songs at 6 a.m. seems like a great way to become a morning person. But after the third day, you’re annoyed at your playlist. Music can help, but it’s not a magic bullet. Try using music as a cue for a specific activity, like making breakfast or stretching. This creates a positive association and helps you ease into your morning routine without overwhelming your senses.
5. The “Bribe Yourself with Breakfast” Plan
Some people promise themselves a gourmet breakfast if they get up early. The reality? You end up eating cold cereal in the dark, half-asleep. While food can be a motivator, it’s more effective to prep something simple the night before, like overnight oats or a smoothie. This way, you have a tasty reward waiting and are less likely to skip breakfast or hit the drive-thru. A healthy breakfast can also boost your energy and mood, making it easier to stick to your morning person goals.
6. The “Go to Bed at 8 p.m.” Experiment
Deciding to become a morning person often starts with an ambitious bedtime. You tell yourself you’ll be asleep by 8 p.m., but end up scrolling your phone until midnight. Changing your sleep schedule overnight rarely works. Instead, shift your bedtime by 15 minutes each night until you reach your target. This gradual approach helps your body adjust and makes early mornings less painful.
7. The “Instagram Sunrise Challenge”
Posting a sunrise photo every morning sounds like a fun way to stay accountable. But after a week, you’re out of creative captions and your followers are suspicious. Social media can provide motivation, but it’s easy to burn out. If you want to document your progress, keep a private journal or share updates with a close friend. This keeps the focus on your personal growth, not external validation, and helps you stay committed to becoming a morning person.
8. The “Productivity Overload” Trap
Some people try to pack their mornings with meditation, journaling, yoga, and a full breakfast—all before 7 a.m. The result? Overwhelm and a quick return to old habits. Instead, pick one or two activities that genuinely matter to you. Quality beats quantity when building a morning routine. Start small, celebrate your wins, and add new habits gradually as you become more comfortable with early mornings.
Embracing the Morning Person Mindset
Becoming a morning person isn’t about perfection or following every hack you see online. It’s about finding what works for you, laughing at the missteps, and making small, sustainable changes. Whether you’re a chronic snoozer or a breakfast briber, remember that progress is more important than perfection. With a little humor and a lot of patience, you can finally join the ranks of morning people—and maybe even enjoy it.
What’s the funniest or most creative way you’ve tried to become a morning person? Share your stories in the comments!
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