It wasn’t a divorce. It wasn’t even a “breakup” in the traditional sense because you were never officially together. But the pain? The pain is searing. Situationships—those undefined romantic entanglements—often leave deeper scars than long-term marriages. Because how do you get over someone who was never really yours?
These “almost” relationships are a breeding ground for insecurity and unresolved grief. We minimize our own suffering because we lack the label to justify it. But the emotional wounds are real, and they linger long after the texting stops.
The Lack of Closure
In a formal relationship, there is usually a conversation. A definitive end. In an almost relationship, it often ends in a slow fade or a ghosting. You are left analyzing the last three weeks of messages, trying to pinpoint exactly where it went wrong. The lack of a period at the end of the sentence keeps you reading the book forever.
The “What If” Haunting
The relationship never fully bloomed, you are left with the fantasy of what it could have been. You grieve the potential, not the reality. The dream of the perfect future you concocted is harder to let go of than the messy reality of a real ex.
Invalidated Grief
Friends might say, “But you guys weren’t even official,” or “You only talked for three months.” This makes you feel foolish for hurting. You start to gaslight yourself, believing you are being dramatic, which forces you to suppress the pain rather than process it.
Deep-Seated Trust Issues
You feel like you were auditioning for a role you didn’t get. This makes you suspicious of future connections. If someone who seemed so interested could just walk away without a word, how can you trust the next person? It makes you waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The Feeling of Not Being “Chosen”
This is the core wound. An almost relationship reinforces the fear that you are good enough to pass the time with, but not good enough to commit to. It strikes directly at your self-worth, making you wonder what you lacked that kept him from crossing the finish line.
Lowered Standards
You got so used to accepting crumbs of affection that you forgot what a full loaf of bread looks like. You trained yourself to be happy with sporadic texts and late-night calls. Unlearning this scarcity mindset is difficult.
Addiction to the Highs
The inconsistency creates a dopamine loop. The lows were low, but the highs were intoxicating. You start craving that anxiety-induced adrenaline, making stable, healthy love feel “boring” in comparison.
Ambiguity as a Trigger
Now, anytime a new partner is vague about plans or takes too long to text back, you spiral. The trauma of the almost relationship has sensitized you to uncertainty. You need constant reassurance to feel safe.
Your Pain Is Valid
You do not need a marriage license or a Facebook status change to justify a broken heart. If you loved, you lost. Give yourself permission to grieve the almost just as deeply as the real thing.
Are you healing from a situationship that wrecked you? Share your story in the comments—you aren’t crazy, and you aren’t alone.
What to Read Next…
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The post 8 Emotional Wounds Women Carry From “Almost” Relationships appeared first on Budget and the Bees.
