No one ever said being a mum was going to be easy. But there are many ways to reduce the load by being smarter and more organised.
Mum-of-two Rachael Shephard became particularly aware of how time management was a “crucial yet challenging” aspect of a mum’s daily life after she had her second child and struggled to cope with the “disproportionate” number of tasks she needed to complete.
“I jumped on the parenthood treadmill with full abandon, blissfully unaware that once it starts, you can never really get off. It doesn’t stop. It rarely slows down,” she laments.
And although she thinks she was “relatively adept at managing mum life” by the time she had her second son, the reality was that adding another child made a huge difference. “It turned parenting into a full-blown juggling act,” she explains.
“I didn’t just lack time, I was stretched thin on patience, peace, and my nerves were like old guitar strings, one strum away from snapping completely.
“I wish I knew then what I know now. As a seasoned mother of two boys, I’ve learned I have to be okay before I can make sure they are. I actively prioritise making my life easier, and I keep that priority solid.”
Shephard, 42, wants to help other mums by sharing the ways she’s made her own life easier, so she’s written The Little Book for Busy Mums, to outline the tricks, hacks and shortcuts she’s used to reduce the parenting load and rebalance self-care and motherhood.
She says: “It’s about cutting corners without cutting yourself out of the equation.”
Here are some of her tips and tricks…
1. Skim-clean
Shephard says her “absolute favourite cleaning tip” is to quickly make the house look like it’s been cleaned instead of spending hours every week cleaning it from top to bottom.
“I just make it look like I have,” she explains. “I can grab some shower cleaner, shine up the taps and glaze over the surfaces in five minutes. It might not be ‘clean clean,’ but it looks it.”
In addition, she suggests vacuuming the bits of the house people can see, and spraying a bit of polish around so the house smells fresh, even if it’s not dust-free. “It’s particularly useful when friends come over with their kids,” she says. “There’s zero point cleaning properly beforehand, as I’m only going to have to do it again after they leave.
“Save the deep cleaning for when you’ve got the house to yourself, and your hard work isn’t going to be destroyed by little people.”
2. Turn chores into play
Shephard, whose sons are now 11 and eight, says the trick with kids is to make them believe chores are less like work and more like play – so instead of just telling them to clean their room, she suggests giving them their own titles and saying something like ‘Congratulations! You’ve been promoted to Chief Toy Organiser’.
“Now they have a career,” she says wryly. “Let them wear a pretend badge for extra motivation.”
In addition, it can help to turn chores into games, so ask the kids how fast they can sort the laundry or empty the dishwasher (without breaking anything, of course).
3. Give kids a choice
She says it’s also a good idea to offer children choices, so ask them if they’d prefer to vacuum or dust, for example. “This way they feel in control while still doing your dirty work,” she explains.
4. Crayon hairdryer hack
If the kids draw on the walls with crayon, don’t despair, just use your hairdryer on it. “A hairdryer will soften crayon wax, making it easy to wipe off without too much effort,” says Shephard.
5. Use drawer organisers
Using drawer organisers is a “nifty trick” which can turn chaos into calm, says Shephard. She suggests using them both for your own and the kids’ drawers so you can find things quickly instead of rummaging around for ages.
“Finding what you need not only becomes a breeze, but saves a chunk of time too,” she points out.
6. Buddy-up
If you buddy-up with another school mum, school runs, playdates and even last-minute emergencies become much easier, promises Shephard.
She suggests sharing the school run with another local mum, rotating play dates so you get a bit of time off while your kids are playing at their friend’s house, or divvying up childcare over the school holidays so you don’t have to use up all your annual leave.
She says: “You’re clawing back some time for yourself – buddying up helps you balance it all.”
7. Just say no
If you say yes to every request, you may end up feeling stressed and burnt-out, warns Shephard. She says it’s vital for mums to prioritise their own needs, and stresses: “Say no to things that aren’t essential. Bake sale at school? If you don’t have the time, don’t do it.
“You’re not obligated to say yes to every mum-related duty – you can’t be all things to all people. Your job is to keep your kids alive and loved. After that, everything else is a bonus.”
8. Family bucket list
Having a family isn’t just about organising the chaos, it’s about enjoying them and creating memories, and Shephard suggests creating a family bucket list is a great way to do this.
She says the list can involve writing down all the crazy, exciting and maybe slightly impractical things you’ve always wanted to do, but this time include the whole family too. So it might include doing a family bungee jump, or spending a whole week in your pyjamas – whatever you like.
“It’s such a gorgeous way to plan a lifetime of shared memories with your children,” Shephard says. “It helps you focus on enjoying your family time, rather than simply surviving it.
She adds: “When the years fly by this fast, the only thing you’ll wish you had more of is time. So use it wisely – and joyfully.
“This isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing less – in smarter, more creative ways. It’s about being the best mum you can be, by refusing to give in to the pressure to be perfect, and instead, finding ways to protect your time, energy, and sanity.”
The Little Book for Busy Mums by Rachael Shephard is published by Vie, priced £9.99. Available now.
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