“Kids say the darndest things” or so the saying goes, which is just one more thing new parents have to learn as their children develop the ability to speak. This is probably why we’ve all heard some of the most outrageous things ever come out of children’s mouths.
Someone asked “Tell me a time your kids embarrassed you so bad you felt like you could never go out in public again,” and people shared their most unhinged stories. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote the best ones and be sure to add your own examples to the comments section below.
#1
Not really embarrassing but when my daughter was 3 she saw some goth teens and screamed "Look mommy! Pretty vampires!!" 🤣 they were so happy
#2
My brother cracked the back of my mom’s phone and they told him it would cost a lot to fix. The next day he found a penny in the grocery store and yelled “LOOK HERES MONEY FOR YOUR CRACK!”
Image credits: kinder
#3
I had to take my son in the bathroom with me… he was little. He hears someone opening a pad and yells SOMEONE IS EATING SNACKS IN HERE!
Image credits: jilldean17
#4
My son saw a lady in a hijab in Walmart and screamed “WHAT IS SHE?!?” And as I was explaining different cultures, he said “no is she a pirate?!?!?” And I looked again, she was wearing an eye patch. 😭
Image credits: Britt
#5
My 5 yo son asked the gas station guy wearing a turbin if he was a genie
Image credits: Marlena M.
#6
my niece (4) we were at the checkout and the lady and the register was being super rude my mom whispered at me “whats her problem?” and my niece super loud “yeah whats your problem!
Image credits: Dezzi
#7
When my daughter and I were at the store and we saw a person with dwarfism…she said “they must not have ate their vegetables”…the person heard her 😑
Image credits: Hgibson1738
#8
I got my period at Disney on ice and she was in the stall with me.and saw my underwear AND IN A VERY CROWDED BATHROOM said "Aaw, It's ok you pooped ur pants mommy, it happens"
Image credits: lynda
#9
My son pointed at man with a prosthetic leg and said “look mommy a robot” and the man proceeded to rip his prosthetic leg off while my 3 year old screamed as loud as he could in Sam’s club 😂
Image credits: Jocelyn
#10
My daughter is an only child. But calls her baby dolls her “sisters”. She told a lady in Target I left her baby sister in the car. Mid July in SC. Police were waiting for me when I got to check out.
Image credits: Lsteeny
#11
My very white 2yr old daughter. Bowed and said "Ni hao." to an asian family at the doctors office. I have NO clue where she learned this. They were just as confused as I was.
Image credits: HanK331720
#12
My oldest saw a black lady with what I’m assuming was vitiligo and said “mommy I wish I was tie dye like her” I didn’t respond so of course he had to say it louder.
Image credits: Heidi
#13
My son saw an Indian family at IKEA and told them “Feliz navidad”
Image credits: BoyMomTurner
#14
During the Barbie movie when they showed depression Barbie my daughter shouted “mommy it’s you!” People around us laughed so loud smh.
Image credits: scuderiajane
#15
My son once told a cashier (with a large belly) "you look like Peppa pigs dad"
Image credits: JennR
#16
“MY MOM SAID YOU ARENT ALLOWED TO WEAR PAJAMAS IN WALMART” to the woman wearing Cookie Monster pajama pants
Image credits: banderson53
#17
At school. I own a business where I host exotic ANIMAL birthday parties and events, my daughter told her teacher I do EXOTIC PARTIES. Left out the animals part, apparently I'm a stripper now
#18
When my little sister was 3 she saw a larger black woman and said “hey big momma” because she had just watched the movie Big Mommas House… I wanted to die…
Image credits: Marissa Caraveo
#19
the cashier asked my son a question and he responded with “my grandpa told me not to talk to ugly people”
Image credits: urmomsszs
#20
A lady finished her solo at church and my daughter said LOUDLY, "Her don't sing very good!"
Image credits: Stacy Hall
#21
My daughter pulled my wig off in the dentist office. In front of an old white man. And swung it.
Image credits: Sharonda
#22
When I was a toddler we were at church and I yelled “who’s the guy in the dress” my Mom shhhed me and said “that’s the father” to which I screamed “THATS NOT MY DADDY”.
Image credits: Rebecca Leiting
#23
For a while when my oldest was 4 she told random old people that they were gonna die soon.
Image credits: leaf
#24
It was announced that “Santa” was no longer taking pictures. My then three year old yelled “God damn it” as loud as he could. People stared and a couple busted up laughing
#25
my friends kid saw a person who was homeless and asked "are you homless?" they replied "yes" and she said "you look homeless."
#26
My toddler kept pointing behind me and saying “oooh ghost” and I giggled and said it back before turning around to find a woman in a full burka behind us 😭💀
Image credits: Aurora cosplays
#27
He started trying to speak “chinese” back to our waitress at a chinese buffet.
Image credits: AlenaMarie
#28
We went to the mall in Los Angeles and there were a lot of Asians, my daughter said outloud, “are we in China”
#29
I work in a daycare & one of the kids said to me “my mommy lays in bed and cries”
#30
My son told the office lady, the principals and his teacher I was picking him up early because I’m going to prison… I had a court hearing for child support
#31
When my oldest was three (he’s mixed) he screamed “help these white ppl have kidnapped me” because I didn’t buy the toy he wanted. I had to prove he was mine.
Image credits: Victoria
#32
We encountered someone who didn’t have many teeth and my daughter asked “how much money did you get from the tooth fairy”
Image credits: Jessica Daves
#33
My son told the cashier with 2 lazy eyes (that pointed outward) that she looked like a lizard. He then proceeded to hiss at her. I never went back to that gas station
Image credits: Kenna Foster
#34
My son goes to a catholic school and the teacher emailed me because my son insisted to his entire Kindergarten class that Jesus was a zombie because he came back to life!
#35
My son’s preschool Mother’s Day program, they each got up and shared one of their mom’s talents. My son told everyone I can flush a toilet at target with my foot.
#36
My son (then 5) pointed at a Mennonite man in a parking lot and said “look Momma, a Pilgrim”!! So loud. People in the parking lot also looked for the Pilgrim. 😬
Image credits: LoveisLaw
#37
when I went to pick my 2 year old up and her teacher told me she had to sit out during circle time because she wouldn't stop twerking to the ABCs
Image credits: Amelia Nicole
#38
My son at the peak of his Star Wars obsession excitedly called a lady dressed in an all black hijab, Darth Vader. She was not Darth Vader. He was 3.
#39
When my daughter told me she wanted her nails done so I told her I’d do them. But she said “no I want them to do them” while pointing at the asian family sitting next to us at the restaurant
#40
When my son was about 5, he told a boy at the splash pad “I like your pilgrim costume.” He was Amish
#41
My kid asked someone when the tooth fairy is coming to their house because they were missing teeth
Image credits: @therileygang2
#42
My 2 year old son saw an African American woman in a purple shirt at Walmart and SCREAMED “mama it’s Meekah!” (From blippi). I told him it wasn’t and he just continued to loudly argue with me 🤦🏻♀️
#43
My son (2yo at the time) saw a nikabi at the store and said “mummy look Batman”
#44
My daughter walked passed someone’s table at the Mexican restaurant and stuck her entire hand in their queso
#45
My daughter's pediatrician asked her what her favorite color was at a wellness exam and she said "blood."
#46
We were recently at a funeral and in front of the family my kid asked “where are his legs and why isn’t he breathing”
#47
My mom accidentally backed over me when I was 3 and for a few months afterwards I would randomly ask her “mom remember when you hit me with your car?” In public
#48
My daughter told a man that liked me “I hope you’re not trying to marry my mom bc I want her to marry someone else and it’s not you” 😩 I think that’s the last time we hung out
#49
He asked me why the cashier looked like a man but sounded like a lady (in front of her) I told him to be quiet and he repeated it again because “it was just a simple question”
#50
An older lady with facial warts checked us into our hotel on vacation. Our 3 YO daughter screamed, pointed at her and said “I’m not staying here with a witch!” MORTIFIED.
#51
Every time we go out some old lady has to stop us to tell us how cute my son is, and every single time he yells “I DONT LIKE STRANGERS I ONLY LIKE MY FAMILY” over and over until they walk away
#52
As I sat down in a full public restroom, my toddler screamed in shock “mom, your growing fur!” 😳 In my defense, it was winter and I was newly postpartum.
#53
My 5 yr old seen a handicapped person walking into the store and asked why they were walking like that. I explained. he then proceeded to walk the same way. ( foot drag and all) i was MORTIFIED
#54
My daughter got lice from her classroom at school. I went to the store to get stuff to treat her head. While in check out she made eye contact with the cashier and said “I have bugs in my hair”
#55
My daughter was on a field trip with her preschool & announced to everyone that she lived in a crack house….because the ceiling had a crack in it.
#56
I took my daughter to the bank once and she looked at the teller and said “you really look like a horse” and proceeds to neigh at her repeatedly. 😭We don’t go back to that location anymore
#57
My son (to the guard on a military base): that’s a big mustache for a little man. Full inspection
#58
My daughter told her teacher that we have no food in the house once. We ran out of bread that morning and she was mad. Her teacher called and offered to send a care package of food. She was 9.
#59
My son (then 5) saw a group of African Americans walking at Walmart got excited and yelled "look mom the Houston Rockets are here!
#60
We were at Kohls shopping. And my daughter yelled so loud “I’ve never seen one of these before” it was a black mannequin
#61
When I was a kid I pointed at an Amish family at Aldi and very loudly said, “Mommy why are they STILL in their Halloween costumes?! It’s summer!” I know my mom wanted to beat me right then
#62
I stepped on the scale at Publix and my son said “damnnnn”
#63
My son sang “savages, savages” to a Hispanic family at a restaurant thinking they were someone from Pocahontas.
#64
When my 5 year is learning to spell, and she wrote help me on a sticky note and put it on the car window like I kidnapped her and everyone was looking, I had no clue until we got home
#65
I will always watch the movie Norbit when my son was little..we one day went to forever 21 and he went up to a lady and said "LOOK MOM its Rasputia"!! I got out of the store as fast as I could
#66
My son told a worker at the store he looked like van Helsing from Hotel Transylvania. He was in a wheelchair…. 😭
#67
an elderly couple stopped to compliment the way my kids were dressed alike and my daughter (4) tells the lady "Hey grandma give me some money" and tried opening her purse
#68
my almost 2yo thinks anything w wheels is a car… yelled “a car!” at someone in a wheelchair
#69
daughter learning to read, read the words "green card" on a window right before we walked into a Mexican restaurant, then proceeded to scream in the restaurant that she wants a green card
#70
Mine told her that her mom is poor. All because I told her to didn’t have money for ice cream that Saturday😂
#71
My youngest told her teacher with a messy bun: "you look crazy like my mom"
#72
My nephew got into a uber ride and proceeded to tell the uber driver he looked like LeBron James. The driver did no look like LBJ he was just black
#73
went to target with my daughter and there was a man in a wheelchair and he a double AKA… my daughter looked him dead in the face and said “headddd, shoulders.. no knees or toes no knees or toes”
Image credits: SAv
#74
My 5-yo proudly and loudly told a waiter "You have the tightest pants in all the land" and then sang Jimmy Fallon's song, Tight Pants.
#75
I took my nephews(I had custody of them) to get Panda Express. I wanted them to experience ordering their own food. This boy hollers out “let me get some of that meow meow and a little woof woof”
#76
I had an older lady tell my three year old how pretty she is…she proceeded to get bashful then look me dead in the eye and say “mommy I HATE people” loud ASF like girl me too but don’t YELL it
#77
we took my kids on a dolphin tour and saw none and my son stood up and said this is a scam these people scammed you and you fell for it! he was 6
#78
My daughter asked my friend who has a lazy eye. Why he only laughs with one eye 🤦🏻♀️omg
