We’ve all experienced thinking of the perfect response to a person, but the moment had already passed. It’s like that one Seinfeld episode when George Costanza had a clever comeback to an insult from a coworker, but it had already been hours later.
However, since many conversations now occur online through comment boxes and social media, timing is no longer a key factor. You can deliver the ultimate clapback days after, and it would still sting like vinegar on an open wound.
Here are just a few excellent examples. These responses were so well-crafted, you’d wish you had thought of them. It also proves that ordinary people on the internet can easily be top-notch comedy writers. Enjoy scrolling through!
#1 All My Life Consists Of Now
Image credits: TheSillyMan280
#2 Or Just Very Friendly
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#3 Can Also Try Exploiting People
Image credits: PineappleIsDeliciousOnPizzaFightMe
Crafting a quick-witted comeback isn’t solely about having a sharp, creative mind. Part of it is having excellent listening skills, according to comedian and artistic director Abigail Paul.
In an interview with the BBC, Paul shared an example wherein you’re dealing with a colleague who enjoys making snide remarks. In such situations, Paul advises training your brain to listen to their words, so you can eventually fire back the perfect retort.
#4 An Amateur Pilot At Best
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#5 Cows Don’t K**l Sharks
Image credits: TbhJustAnotherGuy
#6 Well I Mean They’re Not Wrong
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A knee-jerk reaction to an insult would be to issue a more scathing response. At that point, your emotions are more heated, as your goal becomes more about winning the argument at all costs.
However, stooping to the same level of disparagement can only turn the conversation toxic, which only makes the responding person look worse. According to business consultant Belina Raffy, who worked with a condescending manager, harsh, uncalled-for responses typically come from a palace of insecurity.
“(Negative responses) increase tension, make a person feel excluded or inferior, and as though they are not in the 'in group' which is in the know,” Raffy said in the same BBC interview.
#7 When Rejection Is A Win
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#8 Well, She Did Ask For Pictures
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#9 Name This Plant
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Delivering the perfect off-the-cuff response is also considered a career-building skill, according to executive speech coach Darlene Price. In an interview with Forbes, she explained that such a skill not only exudes confidence and credibility but also ensures that your ideas are heard and acted upon.
#10 I Laugh But It Hurts
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#11 Yep, Can Only Be Eaten Once
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#12 It Hurts Thinking About It
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So, how do you develop the muscle to deliver the perfect response when necessary? Price says it begins with a calm mind, free of negative self-talk that would slow down reaction times in the brain.
“Couple positive self-talk with some nice deep breaths, and before you know it, you’ve transformed stress and tension into a relaxed state of mind and body,” she said.
#13 Brilliance Meets Confusion
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#14 I Can’t Imagine It Tastes Very Good
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#15 Get On The Bus
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Below-the-belt responses are typically blurted-out answers that the person likely didn’t think through. As a result, they may sound haphazard, flimsy, and weak. This is why Price suggests taking a two-second pause to organize your thoughts.
“Seize the moment, trust in your innate abilities, and take the time to deliver an intelligent reply,” she said, adding that silence is also an effective reply to communicate that you are “thoughtful, deliberate, and in charge of the situation.”
#16 No Lies Were Told
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#17 My Wife Would Have Given The Ring Back If I Made Our Proposal Something Political
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#18 Bit Weird To Be Asking For Such A Young Photographer
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#19 Mind If I Comb Over?
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#20 Ludicrous Speed
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#21 Definitely, He Will Not
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#22 Every Woman Has Encountered This Man
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#23 Well Yes, But Actually Yes
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#24 Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth
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#25 Driving 101
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#26 His Wife Commented On His Post
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#27 Wax vs. Parchment Paper
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#28 So True
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#29 To Ask About Dirty Toilets
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#30 I Don't Think Three Fingers Are Too Much
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#31 I Wonder What Do They Have In Common
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#32 Whoops
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#33 Cursed Truth
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#34 Ingredients And Prononciation
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#35 They Never Said You Couldn't Use Numbers
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#36 Car
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#37 Look Up At The Sky, It's Work Smarter-Not Harder Man
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#38 And Likely Get Arrested For Indecent Exposure
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#39 I Never Thought Of Earth That Way
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#40 An Interaction With My Mother
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#41 The Three Faces Of Truth
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#42 At Least 2 Pairs Are Needed
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#43 Its Always The Instagram Comments
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#44 Gotta Love A Technicality
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#45 The New Industry Standard: Normal Screen Size
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#46 Worst Loaf Of Bread Ever Baked
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#47 All In The Cloud
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#48 No Way He Guessed That
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#49 Anything Below 20 Hz As Well
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#50 This Guy Has Good Flirting Skills
Image credits: Wheybrotons
