You trust a family member with power of attorney, expecting care and good judgment. But sometimes “helpful” turns into “harmful” when that trusted person puts themselves first—not the one they’re supposed to serve. In these seven examples of power of attorney abuse, we’ll see how relatives crossed the line and learn what red flags and legal solutions to watch for. Whether you’re setting up POA or worried about misuse, knowing these stories can help you protect loved ones from financial and emotional harm. Read on—before well-meaning turns into wrongdoing.
1. Sibling Cashing Out Retirement Accounts
A brother acting under POA once liquidated his mother’s 401(k) to pay for long-term care—and ended up keeping the leftover funds for himself. His sister caught the move and challenged him for breaching his fiduciary duty and misusing the role. After their mother passed, the sister pressed for legal accountability, arguing that POA ended with death. This case shows how an agent can feel entitled to an inheritance early—even as the law draws a hard line. Lesson learned? Always monitor transactions and question unusually large transfers.
2. Mother-in-Law Withdrawing Thousands
In a tense family dynamic, a mother-in-law with POA quietly withdrew $25,000 from her son’s account without his permission. She justified the withdrawals as “borrowing” for travel, but the son revoked her POA once he discovered the missing funds. This example highlights how even trusted caretakers can overstep boundaries when no one is watching. Protect your assets by requesting periodic statements and setting dual-signatory controls if possible.
3. Sibling Selling Parental Property
One sibling sold a parent’s home unbeknownst to the rest of the family, even though it violated the living will and POA limitations. The other children filed a court petition claiming abuse of authority and undue influence. A judge later questioned whether the agent acted in the parents’ best interests. That scenario teaches us the importance of clearly defining POA authority—especially regarding property sales.
4. False “Protection” Leads to Isolation
One father’s daughters used power of attorney to isolate him from others and funnel $10,000 to their caregiver—then tried to remove the daughters’ POA. Though authorities eventually reversed the decision, this story shows how power of attorney abuse can involve emotional coercion and control, not just money. When isolation follows POA, red flags are waving—you may need intervention.
5. Quietly Forged Documents
Elder financial abuse often starts small—over time, an agent might manipulate a principal into signing updated wills or POAs through undue influence. It’s estimated that one-third of all POA fraud cases involve family members. These situations unfold slowly, with trust used to mask intentions. Stay alert to sudden document changes—especially if health or cognitive issues are involved.
6. Sibling with Hidden Bank Transfers
A sibling quietly transferred funds from their elderly parent’s accounts, citing “unpaid bills” that never existed. The other sibling discovered the discrepancy during a visit and alerted authorities. A court later found the agent violated fiduciary duty—financial abuse in plain sight. This teaches us that power of attorney abuse can happen behind closed doors, but vigilance and family communication can expose it.
7. Politically Influential Relative Misusing POA
In the high-profile case of the late Senator Feinstein, a decision by her only child under POA to sell the family beach house created tension with her late husband’s children. Though not legally deemed abuse, the dispute underscores how even well-known families face conflicts when POA decisions impact shared assets. It reminds us that transparency—especially in multi-member families—is critical.
Know the Signs—and Act Fast
These seven stories show how power of attorney abuse can emerge in ways both subtle and overt. Watch for red flags like unilateral transfers, isolation tactics, forged papers, or sudden document changes. If you suspect abuse, you can petition the court to revoke POA, demand accountings, or even pursue criminal charges under elder abuse laws. And always involve elder law attorneys or adult protective services early.
Set clear POA limitations: require co-signers, define spending thresholds, and mandate annual accountings. Choose agents you trust carefully—perhaps two people rather than one. Document the principal’s cognitive capacity when signing, revoke old versions explicitly, and discuss intentions openly with all involved. These proactive steps reduce the chance that power of attorney abuse becomes your family’s story.
Have you experienced a relative stepping over the line under POA? What steps did you take or wish you’d known about? Share your story below to help others protect their families.
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