If you’re reluctant to come to terms with being a coffee snob, I have some bad news for you — denial is the first stage of acceptance.
For avid coffee drinkers, it’s a slippery slope. The line between casual coffee drinker and full-blown connoisseur is so fine, you can grind coffee beans on it.
Now, a quick PSA — there is nothing wrong with being a coffee snob! You know how you like your coffee, and if anything, that’s commendable.
But to help you come to terms with your…affliction, here are seven surefire signs that on the spectrum of coffee enjoyers, you’re definitely teetering on the higher end. Proceed at your own risk.
You’re on a first name basis with coffee beans
If you can name coffee beans just by seeing a brand name or catching a whiff of the undertones, first of all, impressive! Second of all — snob.
Follow-up note: being able to describe the aromas of different coffees is a pretty good indicator you’re moving into coffee-obsessed territory, too.
Nutty, flowery, smoky — all of these can be used to describe coffee, and boy, you know exactly which one applies to what blend. Chances are, you prefer creamy, full-bodied blends, too. ICYMI, McCafé has recently launched its 100% Rainforest Alliance Certified coffee beans that only give off not just that rich smell, but an equally rich taste. Run, don’t walk.
You have a regular — barista, that is
It’s one thing to have a regular coffee place. That’s usually a sign you’re pretty high on the coffee connoisseur scale.
But a regular barista? Now we’re talking coffee snob territory. If you’re visiting your local coffee joint and you feel a pit of annoyance in your stomach when you see Jacinta isn’t working, you’re probably more into coffee than you might think.
@hiddenhousecoffee coming right up #barista #baristalife #funny ♬ original sound – Hidden House
A lot of that comes from consistency, and wanting coffee that tastes just the way that you like it. With McCafé’s new rich and round blend, you’ll get that consistency every single time, non-barista dependent. Sorry, Jacinta!
Sugar? That’s a no-no
If you’re a coffee snob, sweetness is out. The bitter, roasted taste of coffee is in. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.
There’s a lot of reasons to drink your coffee straight. How else are you supposed to truly appreciate the unique taste profiles each sip greets you with?
This is also a plus when focusing on high-quality, specialty-grade coffee beans (which if you’re a coffee snob, you’re definitely doing). Sugar doesn’t enhance these complex flavours, it only masks them.
Truthfully? As a coffee novice myself, I see the vision behind drinking it without sugar. Maximise that richness, queen.
You’re not married to the mornings
If you’re a true coffee snob, it doesn’t matter the time of day. You’re wanting that sweet, sweet go-go juice, even if it’s almost bedtime. (True story: I once knew a barista who drank roughly 40 espressos per day. I often wonder how he’s doing.)
When a coffee shop doesn’t open till 8 am pic.twitter.com/wHHg8lUJEo
— clickholebot (@clickholebot) April 30, 2025
With cafés closing so early, it can be tough to scratch that coffee itch in the later hours of the day. I mean sure, you could make your coffee at home, but c’mon — where’s the fun in that?
Luckily, McCafé are connoisseurs of convenience (just as you’re a connoisseur of coffee!), meaning you can get that fix all day, everyday.
A dictionary is needed to decipher your order
Alright, pop quiz. How long does it take for you to recite your order to the barista?
If you said anything longer than five seconds, cut the cameras. You’re a coffee snob.
Ordinary, casual coffee-drinkers usually have orders that are a few words long. Long black, no sugar, or flat white, skim milk. You know the vibe.
But if you’re walking up to the counter and ordering “a large soy cappuccino with four shots of espresso and extra fro—”, I’ll just stop you right there. That’s obsessed territory.
You scoff at iced coffee
Hot climate or not, you know you’re a downright coffee snob when the idea of iced coffee makes your toes curl. Oh sorry, I meant fake* coffee. Forgive me.
iced coffee is the WORST EW EW EW EW!!!❌❌❌❌❌
— mel ☆ (@valleilardt) May 19, 2025
I know what you’re probably thinking. “Iced coffee minimises that coffee taste to the point where it might as well not be coffee anymore.” “Having my coffee at scalding heat temperature is half the reason I love it so much.”
I get it, I really do, but I hate to break it to you — this isn’t your average coffee enjoyer.
The one slight exception to this rule is an iced long black. You may occasionally indulge in this on a hot summer’s day and still be a coffee snob here. The key word here is occasionally, though. Any more frequently, and your snob-status has likely weakened.
You have an intimidating aura
Coffee snobs think they’re better than the rest of us. The secret truth is… they are. Coffee snobs intimidate friends and strangers alike with their über cool vibes, their deep appreciation for high brow culture, their enviable style and even more enviably low screen time.
They probably watch foreign arthouse movies to relax. They’re probably moving to Berlin. They’re just not into TikTok, you know?
If your mates double (and triple) check with you before booking a new café for Sunday brunch, then you’re a coffee snob.
No matter your coffee obsession level, McCafé has you covered with their new creamy, full-bodied, and rich blend. If you’re after the consistency, convenience, and rich taste that a coffee snob could only dream of, then you’re welcome.
A final parting word? We Aussies are inherently coffee snobs. Do not feel shame in your coffee snob status. Go out in the world, be proud, and OWN your coffee obsession. Godspeed.
The post 7 Tell-Tale Signs You’re Not Just Addicted To Caffeine, But A Bonafide Coffee Snob appeared first on PEDESTRIAN.TV .
