As writer Robin Marantz Henig pointed out, sometimes it seems that grandparents can’t help but overstep their adult children’s boundaries. Whether it’s due to a sincere belief that they know more or resistance to the fact that they’ve aged out of the cherished role of family decision-maker, the result can be fraught encounters that can break a relationship.
Such was also the case with this woman’s mother. It had gotten so bad that her siblings even went no contact with the lady. So when it was time to start coming up with names for her baby, she knew that it called for a firm stance. Continue scrolling to read her post from the subreddit ‘Petty Revenge‘ where she explains her plan, reminding everyone that you cannot change a person if they refuse to do so — you have to look out for yourself.
This woman’s mother was interfering with naming her baby to the point where she had to take action
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Luckily, she found a way to send a message to the lady that she couldn’t ignore
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Image source: MoosieMusings
Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum thinks parents have to be aware of the way they give and receive advice
Image credits: Honest Mum
To learn more about intrusive “helpers,” we contacted our parenting expert Vicki Broadbent. She is a multi-award-winning TV director and broadcaster, as well as the founder of the popular family blog Honest Mum.
“Being empathetic, gentle, and non-judgemental when providing parental advice, particularly unsolicited ones, is key,” Broadbent, who can also be found on Instagram as @honestmum, told Bored Panda. “Positioning yourself as being open and there to help and/or answer questions will allow the parent to trust you and let you in.”
When the lady said that she “hated” the names her daughter had picked for her child and that she would outright refuse to use them, she had already set a bad tone for the entire conversation. Instead, she could’ve, for example, asked why the couple liked those particular names.
“Asking questions and discovering more on the ‘why’ behind people’s parenting styles and concerns will assist you on how best to provide advice and support,” said Vicki Broadbent, the author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada). “Reflecting on your own perceived challenges will help you to come across as relatable. We all tend to switch off when someone takes on the superior know-it-all position!”
According to a Pew survey conducted in 2022, more than four-in-ten married or cohabiting American parents feel judged by their own parents (44%) and their spouse or partner’s parents (41% among those who are married or cohabiting) for how they raise their kids.
When moms and dads want to reinforce boundaries with their own folks without damaging the relationship, Broadbent believes thoughtful honesty is the way to go. This means “being open but also considerate when it comes to how you explore discussions so as not to hurt feelings. Understanding why your parents might behave a certain way or feel defensive about topics will allow you to approach problems gently but in a way to problem-solve rather than aggravate,” the mom-of-three added.
“Each generation of parents is trying to improve on the last. That is the evolution of parenting!”
As the story went viral, the woman provided more information in the comments
People were glad there was a happy ending
