Dating can feel a lot like defusing a bomb. You’re hopeful and praying you don’t snip the wrong wire. Sometimes everything’s going great until they say something like, "I don’t believe in using soap," or you find out their last five exes "just couldn’t handle the truth." That’s when the sirens start blaring and your brain screams to abort mission.
That exact feeling of realizing you’ve just spotted a massive red flag led a netizen to ask what red flag made fellow netizens end a relationship immediately. From casually dropped bombshells to behavior so bizarre it belongs in a psychological case study, people shared the exact moments they knew it was time to peace out. Naturally, we’ve rounded up 30 of the wildest, most shocking, and sometimes hilarious dealbreakers people encountered.
More info: Reddit
#1
She adopted a cat and a few months later became tired of him and tried to send him back to the shelter.
Since that a moment, I gained a cat and lost a bad person. One of the best things that ever happened to me. Many years after he is happy, loved and cared.
Image credits: W0ndering_pineaple
#2
She berated a waitress for smiling at me. To be clear it wasn't some seductive type smile. Just a smile a waitress gives everyone. Her insecurities showed through way too hard on that. I finished our meal. Gave the waitress a 100% tip for putting up with that, dropped her off at her apartment, she asked me if I wanted to come up, I told her I'm blocking her number and she should be embarrassed for how she acted.
Image credits: Mac2311
#3
He never drank alcohol, never thought anything about it.
Drank alcohol in a group of new people, got f*****g aggressive and beat the s**t out of a guy and almost me.
Next morning he said he didn't remember a thing but over the next days he got angry cause the other people blocked him from everything and said he was dangerous.
"It wasn't even that bad, I just hit XY and...".
So, he remembered everything and somehow it was my fault. I was terrified and kicked him out of my life.
Image credits: Spare-Requirement-17
According to Verywell Mind, the term "red flag" represents a clear signal to stop, much like in sports or on the road where it's used to indicate danger or a serious issue. In relationships, red flags are warning signs that a person may not be capable of maintaining a healthy connection, and continuing forward could lead to emotional harm.
They explain that these red flags aren’t always obvious as some may be blatant, but many appear as subtle clues that something deeper might be wrong. Recognizing these early on is crucial for avoiding potentially toxic or damaging dynamics.
#4
Saying something mean-spirited and then saying “it’s just a joke, come on”… nooooo thank you.
Image credits: throwthisfar_faraway
#5
Set a date with a girl. Said let's meet at this restaurant at this time. She said cool. I'll see you there at 7. I arrive at 7. Had a reservation. Sat down and waited. Time passed. No text. Messaged her saying hey are you on your way? Nothing. Sat there for another 25 minutes, texted again, waited for 10 and then asked for the check. Saw some friends at the bar, had a charger of bourbons. Girl shows up 2 hours later and asks if I'm ready for dinner. Was like 'uh...' *looks at watch* I texted you and hour and a half ago and never heard back. I've already moved on with my evening. No apology, nothing. Was like well we can reschedule for another day. Looked at my watch and said 'sure, I'll let you know when I'm free.' Never reached out to set-up another date.
tl;dr: people who don't respect my time or communicate if they're running terribly behind.
Image credits: Ok-Bus1716
#6
When they are too flirty with other people. You can tell when someone is trying to keep their options open. There are some people that are always looking for an opportunity to trade up.
Image credits: HereForMyTruck
BetterUp state that there are several key red flags to watch for in relationships, such as overly controlling behavior, a lack of respect or trust, and emotional or physical abuse. Other warning signs include substance abuse, narcissistic tendencies, anger management problems, and codependency.
They also highlight that behaviors like conflict avoidance, constant jealousy, gaslighting, and low emotional intelligence can signal deeper issues, and that a lack of open communication, social isolation, and love bombing are also red flags that might indicate a relationship is unhealthy or potentially toxic.
#7
Cheating.
I can't be with someone who searches google for the best word in Words with Friends.
Image credits: cornblink051
#8
Bf of 2 weeks showed up outside of the cinema i went to with my best friend, in a different town and said ‘did you really think I wouldnt come?’ (Wasnt invited). Also if i said ill hangout thisarvo and wasnt there exactly on time he said ‘i dont like liars’ yeah nah.
Image credits: Due-Cut3047
#9
He told me his mother doesn't let him shop for clothes on his own.
He was 34 years old...
Image credits: Late_Solution4610
Ignoring red flags in relationships can seriously impact personal well-being and the quality of future connections, and Boo affirms this. However, they state that ignoring red flags often occurs due to fears of loneliness, emotional investment, or low self-esteem.
The consequences of overlooking red flags can vary, from minor frustrations to significant emotional or psychological harm. Therefore, maintaining self-awareness and being vigilant during the early stages of a relationship is crucial to avoid potential harm and ensure healthier, more fulfilling connections.
#10
After almost 20 years of marriage, I found in his underwear drawer (putting away laundry) a box of condoms with several missing. We never used condoms. He tried to tell me he'd had them since before we got married. I'd put his underwear away hundreds of times. We had moved twice. I had cleaned every room in that house multiple times. I did not see condoms until that day. That was the end of our marriage.
Image credits: Yorkie_Mom_2
#11
Turned the tv channel over whenever a good looking man came on the screen and said “you aren’t watching that”.
Image credits: spirit_cat83
#12
She WOULD NOT get out of the car until I walked around and opened her door for her. "Because my life is hard and I deserve it". And when I say she would not I mean ever. If we were just hanging out and went to Walmart for ice cream or beer.. if we were going to the river to swim... I HAD to open her door everytime. It wasn't opening her door that bothered me, though it was kinda weird, it was the quote.
Image credits: Longjumping-Bat7774
Calm also suggests several practical strategies to help identify warning signs early in a relationship. First, they emphasize trusting your intuition and observing behavior over time, because while one-time incidents may not be red flags, recurring patterns are more likely to be.
They also recommend communicating your concerns openly, setting clear boundaries, seeking counseling if needed, and prioritizing your well-being as vital steps. If things don’t improve, they strongly advise that one shouldn't hesitate to end the relationship to protect oneself from potential harm.
#13
He just lied for the hell of it. i’d ask him what he had for lunch that day and he’d say pizza, and then i’d see a wrapper for a burger when i opened the trash can. figured if he could lie about meaningless stuff he could lie about much worse.
Image credits: lebowskichill
#14
Self victimising themselves in every problem they caused.
Image credits: bignehnehbigbeberd
#15
I was doing the dishes, not even aware we were in a fight. Just standing there scrubbing a pot and I (almost in bullet time) saw a bottle of bleach sail thru my vision and explode against the wall right in front of me, then had a woman screaming at me. That was when I realized I wasn't going thru this b******t anymore. I grabbed a hand towel, dried my hands, walked over and picked up the dog (small dog) and walked out the door and walked to my parents house (a little over a mile).
Image credits: Express-Risk-4129
When all is said and done, spotting these red flags early isn’t just about avoiding awkward breakups, it’s about saving yourself time, energy, and a whole lot of emotional baggage. Whether it’s a casual remark, a sudden mood shift, or a behavior so bizarre it has you questioning everything, recognizing when something’s off can help you dodge drama before it even starts.
However, not all red flags are as obvious as a flaming neon sign. Sometimes, we fall for the warning signs too late. So, the next time you spot one of these dealbreakers, trust your gut and maybe run the other way a little faster.
#16
Threw a rock at a duck. An innocent duck swimming along in the pond peacefully. Just randomly picked up a rock and hit the duck. Never saw them again.
Image credits: Blombaby23
#17
Jealousy especially over things like what I wore or when I’d do my makeup to go out. That relationship lasted a whole two weeks.
Image credits: TalesFromTheCricket
#18
He was texting his Mom on our date telling her how it was going. Then I realized she was not saved in his phone as “Mom” but “Mommy”.
He also asked a lot about kids which at first was a little weird but we actually had a really nice conversation about it. It was nice to see where we both stood on it.
Unfortunately I knew he was updating mommy on it.
Image credits: Living_Bath4500
#19
He said all his exes were ‘crazy’—every single one. That was enough for me.
Image credits: Kitchen_Bicycle4339
#20
She drank way too much alcohol. It was normal for her to have a few drinks also on weekdays.
Casually being black out drunk almost every weekend too.
Otherwise she was really nice, but I couldn’t handle that anymore.
If I tried to encourage her to drink at least a bit less, she always called me „boring“ or said something like „it’s normal in my family, everyone drinks“.
Image credits: Kutter20
#21
She kept asking reddit for advice on our relationship.
Image credits: Glittering-Draw-6223
#22
Chronically late for everything, like hours.
Image credits: eezypeezycheezy
#23
Every time I addressed something that bothered me he played the “I guess I’m just a horrible boyfriend then”.
Image credits: maskcalledc
#24
They saw my boundaries as a dare contest.
Image credits: CharacterAwkward8755
#25
You ever know everything about a person in 2 days and then realized they never even asked what you do for a living or any other thing about yourself?
Image credits: callawake
#26
Texting like crazy if I don’t respond right away.
Image credits: blndbomber
#27
His mom called during our first date and he put me on the phone and introduced me as his girlfriend. Then he mansplained The Phantom Menace to me.
Image credits: k1wyif
#28
Watching him leave my house in handcuffs in a police car.
Image credits: KingProfessional8363
#29
I was the red flag.
Image credits: Mike-720
#30
She said, I must be the most pretty girl you've ever dated. Left her right there and then.
Image credits: HeavyFriendship3563
