Thinking back to when my wife and I first started dating, things felt magical. We stayed up all night talking on the phone. Every date was an adventure, and everything felt like it’d last forever (thankfully, for us, it did). Exchanging promises at that stage can feel romantic, but in reality, it can wind up making you feel trapped in your relationship in the long term. Just like you should never get your boyfriend or girlfriend’s name tattooed on you, you should probably avoid making any of these six promises to your partner.
1. “We’ll Never Go to Bed Angry”
This one sounds noble in theory, but in practice, it’s often unrealistic. Forcing a resolution at midnight when emotions are high can make things worse, not better. Sometimes, a night’s sleep brings clarity and calm that no late-night argument could achieve. Healthy couples realize that rest doesn’t mean resentment. It means respecting emotional space. A better promise is: “We’ll always come back to each other when we’re ready to talk.”
2. “We’ll Always Feel This Way”
Early love is a chemical cocktail (dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline) all working overtime to convince you this feeling will last forever. But relationships aren’t sustained by infatuation; they thrive on intention and effort. Over time, love matures into something quieter and deeper, but less electrifying. Expecting constant butterflies sets couples up for disappointment when real life kicks in. Instead of chasing that high, aim for consistent appreciation and mutual respect.
3. “We’ll Share Everything, No Secrets”
A Pew Research Center study took a look at how much partners are actually sharing with each other. In the study, it was found that 67% of couples in a committed relationship have shared a password to an online account with their other half. Additionally, 27% of couples share an email account, and 11% of couples have a shared social media profile. Not to mention, the number of couples who frequently share their locations with their partners (about half of all couples). But how healthy are these practices really?
Total transparency may sound ideal, but emotional privacy is healthy and necessary. Everyone needs some personal space, even in love. Sharing every thought or feeling can create unnecessary tension or hurt. It’s okay to keep certain internal reflections or minor frustrations to yourself without it being “dishonest.” The best relationships thrive on trust, not surveillance.
4. “We’ll Always Want the Same Things”
Early compatibility can be misleading because it’s often built on shared excitement, not long-term vision. People evolve: goals shift, careers change, and what you want in your thirties might differ drastically from your twenties. Assuming you’ll always align sets unrealistic expectations and breeds resentment when life paths diverge. Instead, promise to keep communicating as your dreams evolve, not to remain the same person forever.
5. “We’ll Never Hurt Each Other”
This is one of the most romantic and impossible promises of all. No matter how much you love someone, conflict and hurt are part of intimacy. It’s impossible to share a life without occasionally causing pain, whether through words, choices, or misunderstandings. What matters most is how you handle the aftermath: apology, accountability, and growth. Real love isn’t about perfection; it’s about repair.
6. “We’ll Complete Each Other”
Hollywood sold us this one, but in reality, no partner can, or should, complete you. Expecting another person to fill emotional voids or heal old wounds is a recipe for disappointment. Two whole individuals build a stronger foundation than two halves searching for completion. Love should complement, not complete, your sense of self. The healthiest relationships happen when both partners bring fullness, not emptiness, to the table.
Love Evolves And So Should Promises
Romance thrives on hope and optimism, but long-lasting love is built on flexibility and growth. The best relationship promises aren’t the ones that sound perfect in the moment. They’re the ones that adapt over time. It’s okay if what you needed at 25 isn’t what you need at 45; that’s the beauty of evolving together. Promises that age well are rooted in honesty, not fantasy. So, the next time you make a vow of love, make sure it leaves room for who you both might become.
Which relationship promise do you think ages the worst, and why? Share your thoughts in the comments!
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