You’re swiping, matching, and starting hopeful conversations. Dating apps can be a great way to meet new people. But they’re also a playground for scammers who have mastered the art of manipulation. You already know the obvious red flags, like someone asking for money or professing their undying love after two days. But what about the more subtle tricks?
Scammers are getting smarter. They use obscure psychological tricks designed to bypass your defenses and gain your trust. Here are six of their most effective, under-the-radar tactics you need to know about.
1. The “Almost Perfect” Profile
A scammer’s profile often looks professional, but with one or two strange details. They might have a high-powered job like “oil rig engineer” or “international surgeon,” which conveniently explains why they can’t meet in person. Their photos look good, but they might all be from a similar, slightly generic photoshoot.
This “almost perfect” persona is a deliberate strategy. It’s designed to be impressive but just believable enough. The unusual job provides a built-in excuse for their strange schedule and inability to video chat. It’s a foundational lie that sets the stage for all the deception that follows.
2. Love Bombing with Future Plans
Love bombing isn’t just about endless compliments. The advanced version involves painting a vivid picture of your future together. After just a few chats, they’ll talk about the places you’ll travel, the home you’ll buy, or even what your kids will look like. It feels incredibly romantic and validating.
This trick is designed to accelerate emotional intimacy. By making you envision a future with them, they create a powerful fantasy that you become invested in. This makes it much harder for you to question their motives later. When someone is selling you a dream, you’re less likely to notice the red flags in reality.
3. The Mirroring Technique
You mention you love hiking, and suddenly, they’re an avid mountaineer. You say your favorite band is The Killers, and they just happen to have seen them in concert last year. This is a classic manipulation tactic called mirroring. They absorb the details you share about yourself and reflect them back to you.
This creates a false sense of deep connection. You feel like you’ve finally met your soulmate, someone who understands you completely. In reality, they are a blank slate with no real personality of their own. They are simply becoming the person they think you want them to be, which is a highly effective way to gain your trust quickly.
4. The Credibility Test
Early in the conversation, the scammer might offer a small, verifiable piece of information about themselves. It could be a link to a real company’s website where they supposedly work or a social media profile for a distant “cousin.” This one piece of “proof” is designed to make you lower your guard.
Once you’ve verified this small detail, you’re less likely to scrutinize the other things they say. They are essentially borrowing credibility from a legitimate source. This makes their bigger, more elaborate lies seem more plausible. It’s a small investment in believability that pays off for them later.
5. The “Near Miss” Sob Story
Instead of a direct plea for money, sophisticated scammers use a more indirect approach. They will tell you about a major problem they are having, but they’ll insist they have it under control. For example, they might say a crucial piece of equipment broke on their oil rig, but they think their boss will cover it. A week later, the boss “backs out.”
This tactic makes you feel like you are offering to help, rather than being asked. They create a crisis and then position you as the hero who can solve it. Because you feel like the idea to send money was yours, it feels less like a scam and more like a genuine act of love and support.
6. The Isolation Play
A scammer will work hard to become the center of your universe. They’ll message you constantly, from morning until night. They may subtly discourage you from talking to friends or family about your new romance, framing it as “our special secret.” They want your relationship with them to be the most important thing in your life.
This is a deliberate isolation tactic. The less you talk to people in your support system, the less likely you are to hear an outside opinion that might raise red flags. By monopolizing your time and emotional energy, they make it harder for you to think critically about the situation. Once you’re isolated, you’re much more vulnerable to manipulation.
Trust Your Gut, Not the Fantasy
The emotional high of a new connection can be intoxicating. Scammers know this and exploit it. They sell a fantasy, and it’s tempting to buy in. But if a relationship feels too good to be true, it probably is. Pay attention to the subtle tricks, not just the obvious ones. Always prioritize your safety and trust your intuition. The right person will build a future with you in reality, not just in your chat history.
Have you ever encountered a scammer on a dating app? Share a red flag in the comments to help others stay safe!
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The post 6 Obscure Tricks Scammers Use on Dating Apps appeared first on Budget and the Bees.
