Many attempts have been made to help men and women find common ground, with John Gray's book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite S*x being arguably the most popular and influential.
Still, some questions remain unanswered. So, Reddit user ThereW0LF invited all women on the platform to take advantage of the internet’s anonymity and ask men everything they wouldn't dare to in real life.
Inspired by the raw honesty that ignited the discussion, we present some of the most interesting exchanges that, we hope, will build bridges instead of walls.
#1
Why do you so often interpret basic niceness as flirting?
LexGlad:
Image credits: GreenEyedHawk
#2
Does an obvious physical flaw/imperfection on an otherwise conventionally attractive woman matter as much as we think it does to you?
Like say you think a girl is a 10/10, but then you notice a huge mole on her neck or she has crooked teeth or a scar on her face. Is she now a lower score or do you not care?
ezralv:
Image credits: anon
#3
What’s the longest y’all have went without watching p**n?
anonymous:
Image credits: ObeseHam
#4
Does it annoy you, that women talk about your d**k size (in vivid detail) with all their friends after they sleep with you?
Electrical-Bother942:
Image credits: IPABrad
#5
When you sit down on a toilet, what happens to ur nuts? Do they rest on the toilet seat? lmao.
RoilToilBoil:
Image credits: NimbleVaseline
#6
Why do you look so intently when I'm wearing a skirt when you can see basically the same or more when I'm at the beach??
Vargasa871:
Its like seeing a lion in the wild, compared to seeing one at the zoo.
Image credits: anon
#7
Why would you not wipe your a*s to its cleanest?
Why would you come away from a s**t, wipe, and see s**t covered toilet paper and think to yourself "meh. Good enough".
Does extended time in the bathroom make you uncomfortable?! I'm seriously confused.
Edit: I have learned much.
anonymous:
Image credits: lnmhylian
#8
I've always wondered if some guys feel expressively oppressed so they channel their individuality through ties, socks and their hair. Would a majority of guys want male skirts or dresses to be socially acceptable?Have you ever wanted to wear makeup? and do you get jealous of girls being able to wear basically anything to a formal occasion? Or are you happy with the tux??
xedralya:
Image credits: Wolfine152
#9
Why is marriage such a terrifying prospect for many men?
roadrunner440x6:
Image credits: DirectorChick
#10
What do you actually think of a girl who asks you out first?
anonymous:
Image credits: anon
#11
What is the actual sensation like of getting kicked in the balls? Does it really hurt that badly?
anonymous:
Image credits: Fidesphilio
#12
Why do you always nod at each other?
Commodore-K9:
Electrical-Bother942:
Image credits: bluesourpatchxoxo
#13
Men on the street - does sexually creeping on women you don't know ever work out for you? Seriously just why.
anonymous:
Image credits: zedstiberius
#14
Do guys talk about the details of their s*x lives with other guys? Why or why not?
coldequation:
Image credits: grammeofsoma
#15
Don't you need more hugs? Your friends don't hug you. Men don't hug each other at all. Shouldn't you hug each other? Don't you need hugs??
letsgo_boiiis:
Image credits: Aceandmace
#16
Does ball size matter to a guy in terms of his confidence? i understand that d**k size matters, but does ball size? What if he has a huge d**k and tiny balls? What if he has a tiny d**k and huge balls?
ThereW0LF:
Image credits: FireflyFreak
#17
What do you do with an unexpected and inappropriate erection?
svhu7ngshbbj:
Pawnulabob:
Image credits: Kellianne
#18
Why is it not okay for your girlfriend to be friends with a boy who has a crush on her, but she doesn't like him romantically?
yetanotherweirdo:
Image credits: anon
#19
Once and for all…does it bother you guys when we fart in front of you??
RabidusUnus:
ImpossibleMindset:
Image credits: winchester47
#20
Why are guys so serious about the topic of what a curvy girl is really supposed to look like?
forsayken:
captainfantastyk:
Image credits: anon
#21
Do men really care if a women has no makeup on and has her hair in a ponytail? When I go out to run errands I really couldn't care less about how "girly" I look, more about how quick I can get done so I can go home and netflix binge. But sometimes I feel like I look like a pile of garbage just because I have a pair of jeans and a loose tshirt on.
Haboob_AZ:
Image credits: anon
#22
I read and hear a lot about how tough it is to be man in American society, but do you ever feel thankful, for any reason, to have been born a man? I don't mean concerning biological stuff -- like being happy not to have to deal with periods or child birth or chaffing under your b***s when you exercise. I mean in a larger societal context.
EDIT: I feel like I should have phrased the question differently. What I am asking for is, *why are you grateful for being a man?* I very much appreciate the issues of being a man in American society and am keen to discuss this topic in another venue, here I am curious as to what you are *glad* about. I know this is a tricky question to ask, and the phrasing of the question for the thread made it seem like a good place to ask tricky questions.
skullturf:
Image credits: academiclady
#23
What's the deal with men loving threeways? I mean why do you think that men want threeways more than women?
twatchops:
vahntitrio:
Image credits: TA704
#24
How do men deal with break ups differently?? I cry, eat tons of ice cream, and jam sad music, watch heartbreaking movies. Guys just seem to handle them differently.
JustMid:
Koolaidwifebeater:
Image credits: anon
#25
Do most guys try, at some point, to see if they could suck their own d***s?
Zacchaeusbastardo:
Image credits: Leigh_Lemon
#26
Do you really find the average woman wearing leggings or yoga pants to be hugely distracting and an immediate turn on?
Because the number of times I was told in high school that wearing those pants (aka the most comfy pants on earth) would distract my male peers is just crazy. And I'm not talking "obviously too tight with tons of camel toe like in p**n" leggings, but normal ones.
IHOP007:
Image credits: CordyCakes
#27
Do guys get curious about their friends [private parts]? Do you quietly check them out at the urinal?
Electrical-Bother942:
#28
Would you feel betrayed if a female faked her orgasm?
Does period blood disgust you?
Do you feel emasculated if your female partner earns more than you?
Bisexual men, what physical differences between men and women do you find appealing?
Do you gossip much with your fellow guy friends?
OutOfNamesToPick:
Image credits: Philofelinist
#29
Is queefing a turn off?
Shaggarooney:Not a turn off exactly, but it is hilarious and laughing a lot can take you out of the sexy mood.
Snakedoctor404: No not good or bad... might get a new pet name Queen Laqueefa in the bedroom in good fun.
Image credits: Fit-Relation9093
#30
Why draw d***s on everything?
beatokko:
The_Juggler17:
Image credits: Iamkittyhearmemeow
#31
How real is the stereotype of two guys being rivals, getting into a fight and then turning into friends because of it? And if it is real, how/why do men bond over beating each other up?
Zolarack:
Image credits: anon
#32
Do most men enjoy having their balls played with even in a nonsexual context?
mousicle:
Image credits: Valkyrie21
#33
I've always felt that men were actually far less picky about a woman's weight than we think. Obviously people who are clearly very overweight are one thing, but if a woman doesn't have a flat stomach but otherwise has a nice shape, do you still think she's pretty?
Panigg:
Image credits: ColorMeStunned
#34
I never understood how you can sometimes get [hard] out of the blue. Like, just sitting there doing your taxes and oh, no, b***r. is there any real reason for them at all? Like, pressure or friction or something? And how the f**k do you hide it if you're in public?
rootytrackswag:
Image credits: WHTMage
#35
"Is blue balls" a real thing, or just some BS made up by h***y guys to convince their girlfriends to put out?
onetwo3four5:
Image credits: anon
#36
Why do you act like you're really into a girl and then ghost her?
Shaggarooney:
#37
How much of the time when you approach women are you trying to f**k vs genuinely interested in them/ looking for platonic friends?
WeaponsGradeHumanity:
anonymous:
Image credits: thegirlfromthestars
#38
Is s*x the most important thing to you in a relationship? What do you guys find important, when it comes to relationships?
JustMid:
vahntitrio:
Image credits: justmeithink
#39
Have you ever gotten your d**k stuck in anything?
thardoc:
#40
Have you ever tried to stick something up your but just out of curiosity?
Darknessthesorcer:
Image credits: anon
#41
Why do you have to smell your hands after touching IT?
Smooth-Monkey:
twatchops:
Image credits: anon
#42
Why are guys cool with the idea of two women having s*x, but two men, you are all like...."aw hell no!"?
ezralv:
IHOP007:
#43
When you swim and stuff, do your balls float? What about your d**k? Because [breasts] float.
thardoc:
Image credits: One_Peanut_Cookie
#44
Since most guys stand to pee what do you do if you have to pee and take a dump? Pee first or sit to do both?
Mr_Incrediboy:
Image credits: highly_caffinated
#45
Does the tv trope of the idiot husband gall you? I just can't watch that s**t anymore, and I'm a girl!
BettmansDungeonSlave:
#46
Men, when you need a wee, does your p***s, get bigger change in any way?
Eupatorus:
#47
Do guys ever look at their mom in a sexual way?
Darknessthesorcer:
Image credits: absolutely-nothing
#48
One of the bigger guys I guess: what is it like being bigger than most people around you? How much do you think about that physical advantage?
porkborg:
Image credits: anon
#49
Say you are wearing tight jeans. You get a hard on. It can't rise, can it? Can you do the hard on thing without it rising, or do you have to find a bathroom and let the flag fly?
Dauemannen:
Image credits: GodofWitsandWine
#50
Why are so many of you afraid of receiving a**l, even the indelicate mention of it?
As a general rule, I try to match the tonal quality of the person speaking to me and being a relatively attractive adult female I get my fair share of sexual remarks. I do my best to make it abundantly clear that I'm 100% okay with raunchy talk too, but that I'll only go so far as the other person does and inside of my spouse's boundaries. So I'll get a remark that's something like, "Hey, how about I shoot my seed inside of you over in the bathroom, bb? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" and imo that's pretty graphic tonally speaking, especially for an introduction to a woman who's openly wearing a wedding ring. I feel that it's fair for me to let the raunchiness rip at this point. I'll banter back with something like, "Right after I get done flowering open your pink boip***y with both hands. You can shoot it in my mouth while I ride my husband. ;)"
Very rarely I'll get someone who laughs; I've met some of our best friends that way. *Outside* of that, there are two reactions I get: Quiet horror, where they slink away as if I'm going to r**e their a*s in public or something, and racially charged/homophobic screaming tantrums.
Now here's the meat (heh) of my questions: Why do so many of you immediately jump to "That's gay!" when it's literally the exact opposite? We're talking about s*x with a woman here. Why would you get mad if you started it? What's the deal with screaming ni***r when you're upset about something? I'm not even black for crying out loud, I'm asian. Why do you suddenly get so defensive when I mention tongue punching your sinkhole?
xedralya:
#51
Why won't you talk to me about sports? I love basketball and I like discussing the games, but I feel like you guys don't take me seriously.
anonymous:
Image credits: gobstopper84
#52
Men, where were you on in the early morning of August 31, 1997 and do you have anyone to corroborate that alibi?
Amiiboid:
#53
How many fingers can you fit up your a*s?
PotatoGod9566:
Yehoshua_Hasufel:
Most men receive so little daily kindness that any attention is considered out of the ordinary.
Often makes her more attractive. Beautiful women are already too hard to relate to. Have some imperfection is humanizing.
13 years from when I was born until I discovered the internet.
Yes. It's not your right to share personal details about someone just because you slept with them.
No they don’t rest on the seat. They just hang like fruits on a tree. Not sure how better to describe that.
I'm going to assume that you're referring to skid marks found in underwear after a long day of wearing them, and not that you've encountered someone who literally left some chocolate on the rim after each bowel movement. For the latter, there is no excuse.
However, many men fall victim to the former on a far more regular basis than we'd like, myself included. When you have a hairy a**hole, many times you can wipe and wipe, and it'll even look clean on the paper when you finish up, but somehow there is still some residue left in the canopy of a** hair that will resurface post wipe. Especially on hotter days or during physical activities. Therefore, we try our best to schedule the [poops] pre-shower, or in an environment that is more conducive to cleanliness. Unfortunately when nature calls we aren't always afforded access to baby wipes or a shower to rinse out the foliage.
I hope this helps ease your mind and provides some clarification for you.
One, if you think about it, we're all basically forbidden in formal settings from showing any skin. If you're a dude, you will have multiple layers of fabric covering your entire body from toes to wrists to neck. Snugly. There is a literal rope around your throat. It'd be nice to be able to wear anything else.
Two, you have no idea how p***ed-off we get that you're in a comfortable skirt or dress in the summertime, and we're in slacks and a tie. Who had the bright idea to require the gender that sweats more heavily to wear more clothing all of the time?
(Don't get me wrong - you feel pretty manly when you look good in a tux. Then you start to move around, and you wish it had tubes of ice water running through it because you're under four layers.)
It's not terrifying in the least. I find it a silly pointless ritual with no added commitment and a huge waste of money. And then, when it's time to go your separate ways (which statistically is almost a certainty) it is an additional cost and inconvenience. All because society tells us 'that's the way it's supposed to be'? F**K THAT.
Save your money and put it towards a house, retirement, or vacationing.
Love it.
Yes, the reaction you normally see isn't exaggeration. It is incredibly painful. It starts as an immediate sharp pain then dulls into this persistent throbbing that is at first as fierce as the initial hit. But then it ebbs away in painful little pulses. And the worst part is you feel it in your stomach as well, and at times you may vomit.
The only sensation I can compare it to is stubbing your toe on a sharp steel corner running full speed and barefoot.
I acknowledge that you are a complex organism living through your own struggles in a chaotic, hectic and unfair world and I mean you no trouble bro.
Show of respect.
My buddy who is a complete horn-dog would always quote Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
In reality, they have low self esteem and feel empowered by making women feel vulnerable by cat-calling. I don't even think most guys realize that is why they are doing it, but essentially they lack the adequate social skills to approach women in a polite manor and instead just try to dynamite fish. I have never met a single guy who cat-calls at women who looks at them as equals. It's about dominance and misogyny, usually stemming from a failed relationship that they never took the time to be introspective enough and failed at any attempts of empathy.
"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell." Advice I got from my grandfather, and it extends to other activities, as well.
Hugs, compliments, anything that seems totally normal for a girl to do makes a man feel like he is the most important man in the world. You don’t even have to like the person, I have a female friend and we both have stated we only ever want to be friends, but she just said, “oh my gosh you were so funny” back in middle school and I remember it. Any attention toward a guy is very much valued, it will make him feel so good, so I encourage you to compliment a guy friend of yours, or hug them, anything will make him feel a thousand times better about himself.
If the balls are abnormally big it's time to see a doctor. Otherwise the size of the balls doesn't matter.
Tuck it up in my waistband so it's not obvious.
Tense the legs, which requires more blood flow, diverting it from the [private parts].
Because you know that guy is going to be constantly trying or wanting to get into her pants, and sometimes the guy succeeds.
The guy may also try to undermine you as part of his goal. He is in short, your enemy.
We honestly don’t care, at all.
It would make me very unhappy if someone I admired felt uncomfortable just being a living thing while around me.
Because the term "curvy" is not interchangeable with "obese" and far too many people think it is.
It's like the difference between body builder muscular. And weight lifter muscular. Hafthor bjornsson (the mountain on game of thrones) is the strongest man in the world. But many wouldn't say he looks muscular compared to say Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime.
I don't care if you don't wear makeup or do your hair. Natural beauty is just fine with me.
If you want to wear makeup for other events (dates, just wanting to look extra gorgeous) that's fine too.
Sometimes that IDGAF look can actually be pretty hot. Weird how it works.
There are some things I like about being a man. One is: I can go into a random bar by myself, and just relax and have a beer, and it's unlikely that anyone will be weird or creepy to me. I mean, it could happen, and once on a rare occasion it does, but the vast majority of the time, it doesn't.
I get to be "neutral". I get to be just "some guy".
Females are hot. We want as many as possible. Foursome would be nice too.
Because we aren't genetically that far removed from animals that try to impregnate as many females as physically possible.
I think everyone handles it differently regardless of gender.
We get taught not to do that and just kind of force ourselves to be happy or just 'sit out' the sadness untill you don't feel it anymore.
Not most of us, every last one of us has tried it at some point.
Leggings/yogapants make almost anyone's a** and legs look 2x better. I would say a nice bum is distracting, but not immediate b**er material.
That being said, I agree yoga pants and leggings are by far the most comfortable pants ever made and I would wear them all the time if it was socially acceptable for me to do so.
F**k no. You always leave an empty urinal between you and the bros. You look at the ceiling and don't talk until after you leave the bathroom.
1. Betrayed is a big word. I'd feel 'betrayed' (for lack of a better word) that you felt it was needed to fake an orgasm. Personally I prefer women to not fake one, I don't really expect one during penetrative s*x. Also, not faking an orgasm gives me a good excuse to give oral.
2. Yes. I don't know what makes it different from normal blood, which I don't find disgusting.
3. No. If you deserve more than me, especially in a society where you generally get paid less for the same job, you probably deserve ot. My identity as a man is not defined by how much I earn. Or how much more I earn than my partner.
4. I'm afraid I can't really answer this. Although if I had to describe things I find appealing on men and not women it would be muscles. Especially shoulder and back muscles.
5. I suppose you could call it gossip, yes. I don't really know how much women gossip, but it happens to sometimes discuss a fellow friend. For instance if they slack off.
It's an old human tradition. There are [private parts] depictions and sculptures thousands of years old.
The richness of a culture has its roots in traditions.
So there, we'll draw d***s on the bathroom door for the following generations to behold the beauty of reproduction.
Pretty sure it's a primal instinct, a natural and ancient behavior.
When we can't think of anything else, draw d***s on it.
I don't like to physically fight people but I do butt heads with my friends a lot. I feel it makes our relationship stronger. Something about arguing with people and still remaining or becoming friends because of it feels good.
I would prefer no touching of the bits or that general area unless you want to get frisky. Blue balls aren't pleasant.
Generally men don't mind as much as women as studies have shown.
Men go for all types of girls more or less equally, while women only go for the "top" 20% of men.
It's how b***rs work. It works like a valve to let the bloodflow in and inflates the p***s. The way it was explained to me was that the muscle is constantly tightened to keep the blood flow out so when it is relaxed, you get a b***r. That's why you get random b***rs sitting down doing nothing, sleeping, and even sometimes after death. The muscles relax.
They don't turn blue, but it can get uncomfortable to be turned on without release. It's certainly not dangerous.
Because I was really into you, and then you did something that I found to be horrific.
OR
I was really young, and really into you until I had you and then lost all interest because the challenge was gone. Yes, I was that guy for a year or two in my teenage years. I don't know why I was like that, but I was. Weird as think back and some of those girls were really great. I don't know what was going on in my head at the time.
We generally leave that up to the woman. Unless it's someone we've particularly set our sights on, we're happy with either outcome.
if I'm genuinely interested I'm also interested in f**king. As friends? I wouldn't see a stranger in public and approach them for friendship probably ever.
Emotional and physical compatibility. Although I'm pretty picky when it comes to physical looks, I ironically don't really care much about s*x. However, I would want my soulmate to be like a best friend. I think that is the most important to me.
I think the answers you'd get are more about personality rather than gender.
S*x and companionship are both going to be important. And like most needs in life, it seems more important when it isn't there (that pasta in the cupboard doesn't seem important in your life until you are hungry). If you are a good companion but never have s*x, he will leave you to find s*x. If you have s*x all the time but are a poor companion, that very same guy could leave to find a better companion.
Some men have had unfortunate occurrences with zippers, but otherwise this isn't common.
Yes. I tried to stick a magic marker and my finger up there out of curiosity. I never did that again. It felt really wrong.
We also like to smell things before we eat them. Should be self explanatory. Simply to make sure it's still good for consumption I suppose.
To see if it smells.
because we find women attractive and men gross.
I think it is because most chicks find they can understand and appreciate the attractiveness and beauty of other women. Guys for the most part don't have the capacity to see other guys that way.
No more buoyant than the rest of me, any buoyancy they may have is too little to notice. Usually in colder water it all shrinks anyway.
We do both sitting. I don't even know if it's possible to take a dump without peeing at the same time.
There's the difference of sexes. Watching shows with idiot guys all the time doesn't bother me. I laugh, I change the channel and move on. Meanwhile women complain, form support groups, and try to get a show cancelled because it's "demeaning to women". How about all the shows where some fat lazy slob lands and weds a perfect hottie? How's that not giving us all false hope that we could land a woman like that too? But we just couldn't give a s**t. It's a tv show.
Depends. Generally none to minor change in size, but I've definitely had pee-rections. Morning wood is often a pee-rection for example.
I never have and can't imagine that.
I'm 6'5" -- not wide but slim, athletic build, reasonably tone, nice shoulders, etc.
I hated being tall as a teen. I was insecure about it and hated standing out.
But as I got into my 20s (and my acne cleared up) I noticed so many women flirting with me every time I went out with my buddies. It was so easy to get girls' numbers. I went from an insecure virgin to a stud quickly, and had close to a hundred partners by the time I got married.
Now, 20 years later, I'm newly divorced and dating again at 51. I've aged well -- nice hair, still fit, dress well, etc -- but my height is definitely a blessing. I know it sounds terrible, but when I'm standing around other men who are mostly much shorter, I feel like a god next to them.
It can get uncomfortable. Sometimes it starts going in one direction, and as it keeps growing it turns out there wasn't enough space in that direction. So now in addition to being self-conscious about having an erection when it's not appropriate, you also have your d**k hurting because there's not enough space for it. So now you either try to steal a moment to shift it to a more comfortable position, or just help for the erection to pass.
Being penetrated implies a position of lesser power, as males determine power structure on an instinctive level by mating. Weaker social status means limited or no access to high-quality mates. No access to high-quality mates means you and your DNA die alone and in obscurity. It's all evolutionary psych.
That having been said, never stop saying all of that, because you deserve a medal for threatening to socket the sheriff's badge.
From purely anecdotal, personal experience, many women who are into sports tend to be into them more superficially. Like 'we won, great!' (I'm simplifying for effect here), rather than the type of conversations I have on sports with other guys, which tend to go along the lines of 'the right back had a s**t game, good thing they subbed him off, the winger was running him ragged... what do you think of Liverpool's new pressing tactics?' or something like that. Guys tend to approach sports (and things in general?) more analytically and often assume that women don't; I'm sure there are women who watch sports (specifically football) the same way I do but I'm yet to meet one, even though I've met many who watch it regularly.
That was a Sunday so I was in bed with my wife. She’s my alibi.
comfortably 2 but for a short amount of time i can squeeze 3 (I'm gay).
only one, and it still wouldn't be something I'd do eagerly.
