There really are all kinds of people out there. Some are bubbly and fun, while others... well, they can’t stop name-dropping, oversharing, or turning every chat into a bragging session. Sound familiar? People online are sharing the small (and sometimes cringe) behaviors that scream “insecure” and honestly, a few of them are uncomfortably relatable. From constant humblebrags to hijacking conversations just to feel noticed, these little moments might make you wince or laugh. Keep scrolling to see what others had to say—and maybe spot a habit or two to rethink.
#1
Telling obvious lies on any social media platforms.
tallulahblue:
Along with the obvious lies my insecure sister also enjoys talking about overcoming insecurity on Facebook. "I was always too insecure to wear a bikini but I think it's important to show how far I've come" or "I realised I need to allow myself to be vulnerable and show how far I've come with my singing." She is trying to show she has overcome certain insecurities but her need to post that s**t constantly shows she still relies on compliments for her self esteem.
Anon:
Like the guy who moved to the West Coast and constantly has to post about his life and how awesome it is. It looks really fun I have to admit. But sitting around with some friends and he was brought up in discussion. One guy goes: “F**k him. He grabbed photos I took of my San Francisco vacation and put them up on Facebook talking about his work trip.”
The guy whose pictures they were messaged him asking what the hell, and the phony basically said that he did visit there but he forgot to take pictures so he used his pictures cuz he liked them.... uhhhh, who the f**k does that?
Image credits: PHIL-yes-PLZ
#2
Constantly talking about how much money they make.
username2256:
I have an old high school friend who called me up out of the blue after about 5yrs of not speaking after I moved away and he was bragging about how he got this sweet new job and is making $75k/yr. Then he called me about 6months later (yesterday); this time it seemed like he was actually interested in how I was doing. But then he mentioned twice that he's making $75k and loves his job, and that I should apply. I said ok well send the link to apply when we get off the phone. No link sent or any text at all. At least I remembered to point out "you moved to a really expensive part of the country, $75k isn't really that much at all."
I think I'm just going to block his number.
redspeckled:
Enh, I'm on the fence about this one.
It's weird talking about salary because we've said it's weird, and we attribute a personal value to it.
But really, we should be chatting about salary to determine what the market value is for your position (yes, depending on region, or skill, or whatever). It's healthy to discuss money. It's not healthy to attribute your entire worth as a human to your paycheque or your bank account value.
Image credits: Dylinquency
#3
Posting Facebook quiz results that say how smart, mature, beautiful, or amazing you are in whatever way. It's especially telling is someone has a bad habit (like being terrible at housekeeping/messy) and posts a quiz result saying how this trait makes them better than other people (usually, "more creative").
Maximum_Burnination:
Before Facebook I had no idea how many friends I have that are rocking 150+ IQ's. Like damn girl you failed Advanced Algebra twice in highschool but here you are making Einstein look pants-on-head stupid. Go you.
Usagi-Nezumi:
I remember a fake quiz on facebook that would report high IQs, but if you shared it, it showed crayon-eating levels of intelligence to everyone.
Image credits: anon
We humans are emotional creatures: one day we’re full of confidence, and the next, we’re feeling like awkward blobs of self-doubt. And while it’s totally normal to have moments of insecurity, sometimes those feelings get a little... out of hand. When insecurity goes unchecked, it can start showing up in how we treat others, and not in a good way.
Take criticism, for example. Someone who feels insecure about themselves might lash out at others just to feel better: nitpicking, mocking, or undermining someone else’s success. It’s not always about you; sometimes it’s about what they’re struggling with inside. Still, that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with when you’re on the receiving end.
#4
When someone tells their partner about all the people who hit on them, or worse, "I didn't cheat, even though I could have."
Datsyuk_My_Deke:
This may be usually true, but I think the exception is if it's mutually accepted. My wife and I always talk about who flirts with us. It's getting more rare as we age, but we're both secure enough in our relationship to get a kick out of each other's stories.
thedarklorddecending:
Alternatively, my boyfriend and I like to go through the creepy instagram and twitter direct messages I get.
Image credits: beckybarbaric
#5
Not being able to see that disagreeing with what they say doesn't mean that you have an issue with them.
Tabby_Road:
I get this is is true for most people. However I work with a girl who has to disagree with everything I say, even when I'm not directly talking to her she will pipe up and try to contradict or disagree. Ive got a good memory so once I tested it with one of her own previous statements, and yup disagreed with that too! Deffo has an issue with me.
Clenched-Jaw:
I was in a design build competition recently with a group of students through my university and it was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever put myself through. We only had 10 hours to complete the entire project and then present it to a panel of judges.
It was even more challenging due to a girl on our team who disagreed with every single thing I said. It was absolutely infuriating. I honestly do not take disagreements personal (especially with studying to be a designer, you just have to get over it bc not everyone likes what you like) but it was like next level disagreement. I swear the girl’s favorite word was “no”.
I would say an idea or a solution and she would disagree with it. Then another team member would say the exact same thing some time later and she would agree. I about lost my mind that day. But damn that competition was amazing. I’m doing it again next year with that same girl. Idc that she’s on it again, I’ll find a way to make it work with her.
Image credits: srrlh
#6
Daily "I love my husband/wife" FB posts about how great their spouse is. And writing on their FB wall conversations you would probably have at home, in person...
shmrcksean:
A good friend of mine does this. Literally posts on FB at 10 pm from the couch that he misses his wife so much and can’t wait to be in bed with her while she’s in the bedroom on the second story above him. But then we are at work together he tells me how badly he wants to divorce her but can’t afford it.
Image credits: poison_ivy15
Jealousy is another classic trait. If you’ve ever had a friend who seemed a bit too “meh” about your wins or couldn’t quite celebrate your good news, chances are they were wrestling with their own doubts. Instead of being your biggest fan, they quietly hope you don’t outshine them. It stings, especially when you expect support.
#7
Inability to admit you're wrong. Being a sore loser.
vtjsaunders:
I consider one of my strengths to be admitting when I’m wrong. But I’m also a sore loser. I’m not insecure I just love the taste of victory.
RelevantSignFeld:
I was thinking this exact thing when I first read OPs comment lol. I was like "i'm definitely insecure about many things, but I just hate losing when I know I could've won".
I've definitely gotten better at it tho. Not a good trait.
Image credits: oskiwiiwii
#8
Acting like you’re soooo much busier than everyone else. I have a coworker who pretends to talk on the phone with people, always emails everybody at 10:00 pm to make it look like he’s “working late”, constantly complains about how much is on his plate, etc. He feels the need to constantly be validating his worth to everyone.
Kiausican:
We've got a guy like that at work, constantly telling everyone every meeting about pulling 20 hour days, managing director looked him in the eye & told him in front of everyone that perhaps he needs to work on his time management skills if everyone else can get their similar or bigger workloads done in a reasonable time & have a life.
I & a few others couldn't help but laugh out loud.
Wind_Yer_Neck_In:
I have a colleague who does the same very specialised job as me at work. He's constantly talking about pulling all nighters and working 16 hour days for weeks. He mentions it in every conversation, with a sort of 'hail corporate' vibe.
We do the same thing (we split the same pot of work), I work hard, get my stuff done then pretty much cruise doing emails until its time to log out (WFH).
I don't think he realises that constantly working overtime to finish a standard workload only garners praise from management if they can't see other people not struggling with the same workload.
Image credits: dick-nipples
#9
Pointing out someone's flaws as a "joke" or a way to look cool.
Somedudethatisbored:
I think that's a defense mechanism. If you do it to yourself first, no one else can do it to you. In a sense, I guess you own your own weaknesses, but most likely, you're the only one who really notices them.
Anon:
Realized that the only time its a good joke when it's your own flaws or said flaws of someone are actually detrimential to the someone, it should picked up as a hint to strive to improve yourself.
Force3vo:
Joking, especially in a public environment, about flaws that might torment the person already, is never a good joke if you don't know the person well.
Sure you might be right that the person would be better of changing that flaw but you don't know if they already tried and can't.
Either you have a deep trust base and can joke about stuff like that or you don't and you are probably sticking your finger in a wound in front of people that laugh about it on someone else's account.
Image credits: hej__alle
You might also notice the blame game; nothing is ever their fault. A small mistake? Your fault. A miscommunication? Also you. People struggling with insecurity often feel exposed and vulnerable, so pointing fingers becomes their way to avoid looking inward. It's frustrating, but it’s more about their discomfort than any truth.
#10
When someone nervously laughs at the end of every sentence.
Anon:
yeah haha
LiteralTP:
Haha yes
Image credits: Czech_cat
#11
The dude I saw on the interstate driving a big truck with humongous letters on the back window spelling “I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND”.
blyyyyat:
That might be less insecurity and more crazy possessive girlfriend but it’s hard to tell.
Dyrreah:
I saw the opposite on a truck race once. Guy had a humongous unicorn plushie behind the windshield and a nameplate saying Little Sanyi(hungarian name) while he was a massive mountain of a man. If that's not confidence, I don't know what is.
Image credits: FryFry__ChickyChick
#12
People who post super vague b****y statuses on Facebook instead of dealing with their problems. It usually just makes the people who care about you wonder if you're talking about them and the people who you mean it towards don't care anyways.
kerpti:
What I had happen a lot when I used to use FB was:
"OH MY GOD. WORST DAY EVER!"
"You ok?"
"What happened?"
"Oh no!"
"Is there anything you need help with?"
"What happened, is everything alright?"
etc., etc., with never a response from OP
Image credits: pringerx
And it’s not just tough on the people around them, it’s hard on the insecure person too. They might spend hours overthinking a two-sentence text, spiraling into “Did I sound weird? Are they mad at me?” territory. Constant second-guessing makes even simple things exhausting.
#13
Referring to yourself as "alpha".
BadMinotaur:
There was a guy having an argument on one of my statuses on Facebook, and he bowed out by calling himself an alpha and the rest of us beta males (and unfriending us). Me and my friends talked about it later and couldn't believe he said it seriously-- we didn't know it was a real thing people did.
kokainakokaina:
This is so popular in my hometown, idiots just acting full on obnoxious - especially if a woman is around. I cant stand people who constantly try to dominate the conversation and prove to everyone that theyre better and constantly one-upping. I guess im just such a beta.
Trissan:
Ugh my roommate does this. Constantly calls himself the Alpha Male in a house of three guys and one girl. All he does all day is watch tv in his room and post pictures of quotes to facebook. Alpha my a*s.
Image credits: pm_me_ur_pudendum
#14
Caring about your manliness. Or being obsessed with "manly things".
I was always taught that being a "man" was about taking care of the things you were supposed to take care of, being a gentleman (respectful and fair to all people), and beyond that... f**k all. Go ahead and wear a tutu or collect tiny anime figurines if you've got the first two down pat.
But the amount of utterly pathetic pride I see in being able to drink liquor or grow a beard even as something as f*****g mundane as driving a stick shift just screams "please validate my fragile ego".
Its fine to like whatever you like but if you take pride in something like that you need some real accomplishments. Go volunteer, be a mentor, heck just be a better person. If you define yourself merely by the things you like rather than the things you believe in or are responsible for, you're not an adult, to say anything of being a man.
#15
Fishing for compliments. Nothing annoys me more.
NachosmitKaeseDip:
Omg this remembers me of the girls in art class who know their painting is good: "OMG my painting is soo baaad" Other girl:"Nooo youre so goooood" - "Reallyyy? thank youuuu awww"
u_sagi:
I used to have a bad habit of making self deprecating jokes but I never wanted compliments in response because they often make me feel uncomfortable.
Strange times.
Image credits: anon
Sometimes it’s obvious, like when someone brags nonstop to mask their self-doubt, or when they go the other direction and put themselves down so others will lift them up. Neither is healthy, and both are clear signs that something deeper is going on under the surface.
Validation becomes like oxygen. Insecure people might constantly seek reassurance, asking over and over if they’re doing okay, if you’re mad at them, or if they look alright. It’s not always needy; sometimes it’s just their way of calming the storm in their head.
#16
When I was an architectural student, my professor told me I'd never be an architect, but I later became an architect anyway despite his cynicism. When my design was used for a new skyscraper in New York City, I went all the way back to Wesleyan to show him how wrong he was and how successful I'd become. Looking back on it, I guess I was a little insecure.
#17
They're extremely clingy with their SO. Like always by their side holding on to them and never leaving them alone. They also have a personal vendetta against any of their SO's friends they think *might* be competition.
antonbetong:
I'm not this extreme, but I love being close to her, not because im afraid, but because I actually like her, never would i ever "ban" a friend of hers.
Image credits: RoastyTheToastyGhost
#18
Intentionally loud vehicles.
Caiur:
When I'm out walking and one of those cars goes by and the driver revs his engine obnoxiously loud, I always try to look in the opposite direction.
I know it's a pretty insignificant gesture and he probably didn't even see, but he obviously wants to get people's attention and I don't want to flatter his ego by turning my head to look.
LapisRS:
To be fair, a lot of legitimate performance can be gained from a less restrictive exhaust, but it will be louder.
Fart cans are stupid tho.
Image credits: p1um5mu991er
Even basic tasks can feel overwhelming. Whether it’s starting a new job, planning a trip, or simply speaking up in a meeting, insecurity can make everything feel like a mountain. It’s not about the task itself, it’s the fear of failing that slows them down.
Once you’re able to identify behaviors that point toward insecurity, you can actually begin to manage them with more empathy, both in yourself and others. Instead of snapping at that co-worker who always talks over people, you might start to see they’re not trying to be rude, they’re just desperate to feel heard. This doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior, but it allows you to respond without taking it personally. And if you notice these signs in yourself, it’s a signal to pause and reflect instead of pushing through the discomfort blindly.
#19
When somebody speaks loudly over everyone else, as if their voices are more important rather than contributing to the conversation in a normal way
EDIT: for the 400 people asking, there's a massive difference between "having a loud voice by nature" and "actively trying to butt your opinion into a conversation, noisily".
openupmyheartagain:
That and constantly cutting you off to do it. Like they didn't listen to s**t you said because they're too busy thinking about what they're going to say and it's so important that they have to cut you off to be the center of attention. Had an ex that used to do this..
Me: "I'm tired because-". Him: "You don't even KNOW tired! I work two jobs blah blah blah." Yup not only was he a talk overer, he was also a cut offer and a one upper. They'll never find the body.
Image credits: anon
#20
People that can't be single for any amount of time. The type that get out of a serious relationship after 10+ years and are dating someone else within weeks... or days. Those are the types of people that advertise just how insecure they are about themselves.
Edit: Just to clarify I'm not saying everyone that does this is insecure. That's just what I see. A good friend of mine has either been in a relationship or activley seeking one since I first met him when we were kids. If he goes more than a week without having the title of boyfriend he becomes severely depressed and thinks that his life is over. He is very insecure about himself and is one of the only people that I know personally who always has to be with someone. So now I associate this behavior with insecurity. Obviously it doesn't apply to everyone!
Image credits: kraliz
#21
Daily selfie posts.
Insecurity often wears a costume. For some, it’s a loud voice and too much confidence; for others, it’s silence and constant second-guessing. Neither approach works well in the long run. But once you see where it comes from, you can stop playing the part and start changing the script. It might mean practicing self-affirmations, setting small achievable goals, or simply allowing yourself to fail without judgment, all of which are powerful steps in the right direction.
#22
People who feel the need to decide whether others are "true" members of their group/fandom/whatever based on *their* standards alone.
"If you haven't read the manga, you're not a true [insert anime here] fan!"
"If you can't name more than 5 albums of [insert band here] or recite all the members' blood types, you're not a *real* fan."
"If you don't speak perfect Tagalog, know how to cook adobo blindfolded, or memorize the length of Manny Pacquiao's d**k down to the millimeter, you're not a *true* Filipino."
They act like that group/fandom is all they have going for them, so they'll fight tooth and nail to avoid getting knocked down a peg.
#23
Overly aggressive/vulgar bumper stickers on the back of your lifted/chromed out truck.
#24
When somebody can't stop badmouthing others.
The beauty of recognizing insecurity is that it opens the door to growth. You can build confidence not by pretending you know everything, but by being okay with what you don’t. It’s about becoming more self-aware, improving your communication, and creating spaces where both you and others feel safe to express yourselves. After all, true confidence isn’t loud, it’s quiet, steady, and rooted in self-acceptance.
#25
Being a grown-a*s adult yelling at the teenage cashiers/retail associates over the most minor of inconveniences and errors.
Bonus points when they scream "When I was your age..." proving that they're insecure about their current age or simply jealous of other people still being youthful.
#26
Oneupmanship.
If I have three new things, you just picked up four new things.
Like..what, it's a f*****g competition? P**s off.
#27
Constantly asking the SO if they find other people attractive.
These posts are a great way to spot signs of insecure behavior: sometimes in others, sometimes in ourselves. Which one stood out to you the most? Did any of them make you pause and reflect? Maybe you've noticed a few of these traits in your own habits or in people around you? Let's talk about it, what did you find the most intriguing?
#28
"Look at my new socks guys!"
*top down shot with 80% cleavage*.
#29
People never shutting up about their IQ.
#30
When people posts quotes on social media in an attempt to prove their confidence or save face I can't help assuming the opposite.
For example, "A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her."
I can't help reading that and immediately thinking welp, you must be waiting around for a man to validate you....
Not to mention, a busy goal-oriented woman is probably too busy being busy.
#31
Taking everything you say to them as some sort of aggression regardless of how nice or innocent it might be and constantly apologizing for inconsequential things that don't really require an apology. Always putting themselves down and batting away compliments that are genuine and deserved. That and texting 100 times a day just to say hi. I know you're there and I know you love me, I love you too but I am at work and my boss doesn't love you quite as much as I do.
#32
Haters who think they're cool because they dont like the "mainstream", and spend all their time putting down other who do.
"Oh, Susan likes *insert reality show*? She's obviously a brainless follower who's too dumb to appreciate *real* entertainment. Ugh, I hate basic people like that; she should be more like me, just last night I finished reading my favorite book, it's written in the ink of a now-extinct octopus and blah blah blah..."
Like, quit sucking your own d**k and let people like what they like.
#33
"Friends" that seem to get along pretty well between each other privately , but once in a large group, act completely differently and are plain d***s.
Edit- Bear in mind as some people have said in this thread, there is a difference between playful banter with close friends and just two-faceness.
#34
Guys who have no idea how to meet girls so they go for their mates girlfriends.
#35
Arguing something when you know you're wrong. Hating to be corrected is the most insecure thing ever.
#36
People that can only talk about themselves and that have a tendency to exagerate everything about them, in this "Let me tell you why I'm so awesome" kind of way.
For the past 3 years I've worked with a guy who says he never had bad grades, was the teachers pet and never got bullied, once got a 102/100 in a math test, used to swim 100 pool lenghts everyday, was told by his Kick Boxing coach (he's been going on and off for like a year) that he should be really careful and never get into a fight because he's too strong and he could "k**l somebody"... I could keep going for a while.
He also has this tendency to always know better than you in EVERY field. You tell him about your favorite restaurant and he'll say it's not that good, he knows the chef, and then he'll tell you about a better restaurant, he also knows the chef. I tell him about me wanting to buy some new earphones and he tells me about his earphones that are better. He drinks better beer. He wears better shoes. I might actually be colleagues with GOD guys, and I didn't know until now!...
But seriously, when I tell my GF about the new bs my colleague has spewed, she always tells me that this behaviour is a tell tale sign of insecurity and lack of social awareness, probably due to some f****d up childhood.
He is two computers away from me right now, and he is telling my other collegue how he could've been a famous athlete but he didn't pursue it because he wanted a carreer in IT Support.
#37
Sharing those "I'm a Badass B***h and You Better Not F**k With Me" memes on Facebook.
#38
"I'll take that as a no..." if I dont respond within first two minutes to her text.
#39
An irrational fear of making mistakes.
Truly secure people are OK with messing up once in awhile because they know that their mistakes don't define them. But if you watch insecure people, you'll see that they a) try ridiculously hard to cover up their mistakes b) always take the 'safe' route to avoid making mistakes at all, to the extent of seeming stiff c) watching for others' reactions. If someone only laughs a half second after everyone else laughs, or refuses to express an opinion until someone else does...they're probably insecure.
#40
Joint Facebook account.
#41
Anyone who deletes a post and then re-upload it at a later time, because it didn't get enough reactions.
#42
Your partner looking through your phone because they don't trust you
Your partner telling you stories about their sexual experiences or encounters but get upset when you talk about yours
Your partner telling you not to talk with one of your friends (that's the same gender as your partner)
Your partner gets upset that you talked to the cashier (that's the same gender as your partner) about your Pokémon hoodie and said you were flirting with her.
#43
Blaming others, nothing ever being your fault.
#44
People who always criticize other people for how they look or how they act. But, once you criticize them they feel attacked.
Basically people who can talk c**p but not take it.
#45
Pickups with lift kits, giant tires and lots of chrome. But never ever any mud from actually taking it off-road.
Edit; And jeeps done the same way.
#46
Making fun of hobbies, interests, or any type of activity you're not good at.
#47
Constantly talking about how awesome one feature or another of their life is awesome. Especially when it comes to relationships.
#48
Making a negative assumption about someone who's attractive just because they're attractive.
#49
Excessively attaching yourself to a label
Eg. Your star sign, career, pop culture fandom, where you live etc
Anything that people can use as an identity or sense of self as they're not comfortable with their own.
#50
Oversharing.
I compensate for feeling less than by sharing too much to make other people feel better about themselves around me so they end up liking me more, or feel bad for me so they will wanna be nice to me.
#51
Websites served only over http, not https.
