We all turn to our partners for love and comfort, but what if it turns into emotional dependency. Emotional dependency is when you often seek validation, attention, and support from others, especially your partner. Your happiness relies on another person’s mood and thoughts. The constant urge for their presence may lead to an addictive behavior - you keep checking your phone for their messages, scroll through old chats, and make yourself feel better by looking at the social media posts or pictures clicked with them.
This emotional dependency can also affect your moods in a negative way. Unmet expectations from your partner can lead to mood swings or unexpected anger outbursts. This happens because in this whole process of deeply and madly falling in love, you forget to give yourself validation and love. This can lead to deep insecurity, fear of rejection and abandonment. When your mood and happiness depend on others, it can make it difficult for you to handle your emotions independently.
Remember, no matter how perfect your relationship is, emotional dependency can ruin it.
Here are 5 reasons why emotional dependency can ruin your relationship:
1. OverthinkingA person who is emotionally dependent in a relationship tends to overthink. By overthinking, they create fake scenarios in their mind, considering all the worst and best possibilities. If things don't work out the way they hoped, it hurts them. By overthinking, you are constantly relying on your partner for managing your emotions.
2. Negative thinkingA person who is always reliant on others often thinks of the worst possibilities first. For instance, if your partner doesn't text you back, you may imagine the worst and react accordingly, which can affect your bond or spoil a beautiful relationship. You may question them and say things like - "Do you really love me?" Such negative thinking can ruin your relationship.
3. Possessive nature
A person who is emotionally dependent will always treat their partner like their possession. They become very insecure if you talk about someone else or go to a party with your friends, as they fear being alone. Once you start showing your possessive side, your partner might feel forced to be with you, which is scary in a relationship.
4. No space and boundariesEvery relationship needs to have certain boundaries to protect each other's space and respect. A person who is emotionally dependent does not understand how to maintain boundaries; they will keep triggering their partner for constant attention and emotional support.
5. You expect your partner to changeEmotional dependency leads to projecting your partner as someone they are not. You may start idealizing your previous relationship and try to make your partner similar to them, expecting them to treat you similarly. This behaviour is toxic and increases the possibility of ruining your relationship.
Emotional dependency should not be confused with emotional intimacy where people instinctively understand each other's needs and provide a secure and loving environment to each other. When people are emotionally intimate, they do not crave physical intimacy all the time rather they are connected with each other even when they aren't spending time together. In case of emotional dependency, a partner is more likely to exploit or use the other for their own advantage, knowingly or unknowingly.
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