Let’s be brutally honest: men don’t always respect what they don’t have to work for. And in today’s hyper-connected, swipe-right, online-everything culture, it’s easier than ever to make yourself… less valuable. Yes, less. Not “mean,” not “cold,” just less rare, less desirable, less magnetic. If you’re tired of chasing, settling, or wondering why he’s “suddenly distant,” wake up: some of it starts with the way you show up, even if you don’t realize it. Here’s the high-level, reality check.
Meeting Him Online? You’re Already Playing in His Court
Someone who lives in our heart is close even if far; someone not in our heart is distant even if nearby.
Scarcity signals value. Always has. Always will. Meeting online gives men the power before you even walk into the room. Why? They already know you like them. That’s literally half the chase gone. And yes, your Instagram profile with 3,000 selfies in lacy outfits? In primal terms: “If many men can access her easily, she must not require much investment.”
What to embody instead
- Less online presence = higher perceived cost
- Mystery > marketing
- Private femininity > public sexuality
A woman who isn’t constantly visible forces a man’s brain to fill in gaps and the brain values what it has to imagine. If he already knows you like him, has seen your body, and can access you anytime… why would he chase?
Eager Energy Signals Low Value
Chanakya taught that unfair, impulsive attraction without respect does not build lasting love.
We can’t chase what runs towards us. Over-explaining, nervous laughter, eagerness to please - these are stress signals. And stress signals tell the male brain: “She needs this more than I do.” Calm women read as:
- Selective
- Emotionally regulated
- Harder to destabilize
This doesn’t mean you turn into a stoic robot. Vulnerability is still powerful, but only when paired with self-control. Express needs calmly, show quirks deliberately, walk away when he tests you. Slower movements. Fewer words, more pauses. Calm expression of needs without urgency. Let him prove he deserves your patience. Treat yourself like a luxury item he has to wait for because that’s exactly what you are.
Stop Chasing. Period.
A good partner should show care morning, day, and night.
Men bond through investment. Women bond through emotional sharing. When you chase: You rob him of the investment process that creates attachment. So yes - he may stay. But he won’t respect you. Why? Because his brain didn’t earn you. If you’re initiating everything - asking for priority, making dates when he cancels, nudging him for commitment, you’ve already handed him the power. Paying for him? Over-giving? Trying to compete in his world? That only intimidates or conditions him to expect less.
Chasing is a one-way ticket to being a backup option. True attraction thrives on feminine energy, not transaction. Say yes when he acts, don’t pay the tab emotionally or financially first. Do nothing. Say yes. Receive effort. Let silence do the filtering. If he likes you, he’ll move mountains. If not, you’ve saved months of heartbreak.
Forgive Too Easily? You’re Selling Your Self-Respect
Drop the idea that attachment and love are one thing - they are enemies. Attachment destroys love.
Resources given freely are perceived as abundant. Abundant = replaceable. You remove cost. And when there is no cost, there is no respect. If he slips up and you let it slide, guess what happens? He tests the boundaries again and again. Men respect what makes them work, not what bends without consequence. Self-regulation is key. Be alone, be happy, have hobbies, maintain friendships. Don’t tolerate disrespect or try to absorb his chaos.
Men change when something valuable becomes unavailable, not when it nags. When he does something that hurts you, don’t argue, don’t explain, don’t “communicate it to death.” Withdraw access. If he wants you back in his emotional space, he has to come fix it - initiate, double-text, show consistency, break his usual rules. That’s how accountability is trained.
Accepting Inconsistency Is the Fastest Way to Be Played
Marriage is a partnership where two souls walk together to fulfill life’s purpose.
Men who are wishy-washy, flaky, or unavailable are essentially handing you the world’s worst role-playing game: “Bob the Builder - fix my love life.” Don’t sign up. Consistency isn’t a “nice-to-have”; it’s the baseline requirement. If he’s not available and ready now, walk. Don’t hope, fantasize, or imagine he’ll “grow into it.” That’s how time and self-worth get wasted.
Choose men who are ready for you now. Letting someone slow-build their value is a trap - you are not a rehab center for emotional amateurs.
The Brutal Truth
Your value isn’t in what you give, what you tolerate, or how much you chase - it’s in how you show up, how you protect your boundaries, and how unavailable you are to casual exploitation. This isn’t “be mysterious” fluff. People respect what they have to earn. And nothing builds respect faster than a woman who isn’t scared to walk, slow things down, and demand consistency. Men don’t respect sacrifice they didn’t ask for. They respect boundaries that cost them access. So, check your energy, delete the desperate posts, hold your ground, and watch your value skyrocket. This is clarity. And clarity is terrifying to people who benefit from your confusion.
