Marriage is meant to be a long-term partnership, but some unions show early signs of trouble. In fact, according to the American Psychological Association, almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. If you’re newly married and noticing these red flags, it might be time to reassess your relationship’s foundation. If you course correct early, you may be able to save your marriage. Here are five things to look out for.
1. You’re Constantly Fighting Over Small Things
While 90% of couples argue, constantly fighting about little things may be a sign that you’re heading for divorce. Frequent arguments about trivial issues can be a symptom of deeper incompatibilities. It may be a sign that your partner has deep anxieties, like fear of rejection or the need for validation. If every conversation turns into a battle, resentment can build quickly, leaving little room for growth or compromise.
2. You Aren’t Emotionally Available
Emotional intimacy is key. If one partner avoids vulnerability, shuts down during serious conversations, or shows little empathy, the marriage can begin to feel lonely and disconnected. This is something that you should work through with a therapist if it doesn’t improve. Emotional unavailability often stems from past trauma or unresolved issues that can surface in marriage. Addressing it early can prevent deeper emotional distance later on.
3. Financial Secrets Are Already Emerging
Money problems are a leading cause of divorce. Typically, around 41% of divorced Gen Xers, along with 29% of divorced Boomers, state that the reason their marriages ended was due to financial disagreements. If your spouse is hiding debt, lying about spending, or refusing to share financial responsibilities, it could point to a lack of trust and long-term instability. If you are struggling to get on the same page about money, a financial advisor may be able to help. It’s important to align your long-term money goals for a happy marriage.
4. You’re Not on the Same Page About Big Life Goals
Whether it’s having kids, career paths, or where to live, if your long-term visions don’t align and neither of you is willing to compromise, the future together becomes uncertain. These fundamental differences can create ongoing tension and resentment, especially when one partner feels unheard or pressured to conform. While some differences are manageable, core life goals usually require alignment for lasting harmony. It’s important to have honest discussions early in the marriage to identify potential deal-breakers. Ignoring these issues in hopes they’ll resolve themselves often leads to deeper conflict down the road.
5. You Feel Alone
Marriage should bring partnership and support. If you feel isolated, misunderstood, or emotionally abandoned soon after tying the knot, it may be a sign that the relationship isn’t meeting your core needs. Be honest with your partner about your feelings. If you work together and are open and honest, you can get your marriage back on track. Sometimes, just feeling heard and validated can begin to heal the emotional gap.
Are You Heading for Divorce?
All marriages face challenges early on, but if these signs are persistent, don’t ignore them. Counseling, honest communication, and self-reflection can help. But both partners must be willing to put in the work.
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