Sept. 11--The unlikely subject of this week's Internet hysteria: grapes.
A variety bred to be as sweet as cotton candy has garnered enough of those googly-heart-eyed emojis on Twitter to make One Direction jealous.
The Cotton Candy grapes, out of a vineyard in California and presumably named by a very smart marketing director, are not genetically modified; rather, by marrying the seeds of sweet grapes from all over the world, they've been selectively bred, like a designer puppy.
On the outside they're disappointing in that they look like any other grape -- pallid yellow-green skin that would benefit from a Photoshop job, a few brown blemishes -- and not the unicorn grape this enthusiastic group of Internet admirers has made them out to be. But sure enough, these are the sweetest grapes I've ever tried. It's a soft, natural sweetness, not the kind that sends you running for a toothbrush, but probably as close as you can get to cotton candy when we're talking about fruit and not carnival food that looks like Marge Simpson's hair.
Since simply eating something and leaving it at that is a preposterous idea on a team full of food writers, the reaction in the newsroom was: "What could we do with these?" Some ideas:
1. Freeze them. My friends freeze sugar-sprinkled grapes in a Ziploc bag and bring them to our 4th of July fireworks picnic every year; by the time we arrive and settle in, the fruit is just thawed enough to be a frosty, juicy treat. With these, you don't even need the sprinkle of sugar.
2. Pair them with salami. Several members of the Food Dining team had visions of sweet-salty paradise. Meh. This was nothing revolutionary, but a great excuse to eat salami.
3. Use them in a cocktail. They kind of look like olives, and Pinnacle makes a cotton candy vodka. Cotton candy martini? Ew. But possibly good? What if this cocktail I'm instantly dismissing is the third-string quarterback who pulls out the winning touchdown when finally given a chance? So after a quick run to Binny's (note: asking a Binny's employee where to find the cotton candy vodka is pretty embarrassing), I whipped one up in the Tribune test kitchen. No. Don't be fooled by the glamour shot above: This was not good.
4. Make a grape salad from the 1932 Chicago Tribune. "And as usual, this season sees the grape growers of the country busier than ever shipping every color and flavor of grapes to market in increasing quantities," wrote Mary Meade in the Aug. 23, 1932, edition of the Tribune. Oh, Mary. If you had only known what was coming. But lovely throwback grape salad recipe. Find it reprinted at the bottom of this article (there are cheese balls!).
Locally, find Cotton Candy grapes at Mariano's, Whole Foods and Jewel-Osco, but call first. On Thursday, the produce team at the Jewel in River North had no idea what I was talking about, and a produce manager at Mariano's in Lakeshore East said, regretfully, that the grapes were so popular, the store was sold out.
I eventually found them at the Streeterville Whole Foods for a pricey $3.49 per pound. But when the going rate for the same amount in New York City is $8.99, I guess I'll consider it a bargain.
mconrad@tribune.com
Twitter @marissa_conrad
Grape Salad
2 cups seeded grapes, halved
6 tangerines
Roquefort cheese
Ground nuts
French dressing
Peel, section and remove seeds from the tangerines. Combine with the grapes and chill. Serve cold in individual bowls of crisp lettuce. On each salad place two balls of Roquefort cheese mashed and molded with ground nuts. Offer French dressing in small boats.
