It's here! It's new! It's now! It's relaunched 3am!!!!
New 3am girls Clemmie Moodie (ex-Daily Mail) and Danielle Lawler (ex-Sun) shimmied into the Daily Mirror today in no less than three snazzy outfits. But has the old reporter-as-celebrity frolics that Piers Morgan and Andy Coulson indulged in back in the day still got legs?
Judging by the skill displayed on day one - they managed to make two full pages of Mirror about themselves reasonably diverting - Clem and Dan should do well.
"Like a pair of Duracell bunnies, we plan to give Sarah Harding a run for her money in the party-stamina stakes. Not until the last drop of champagne has been quaffed, the final canapé consumed and the red carpet rolled up will we leave the party," they trill in today's column.
I sense the hand of Mirror editor Richard Wallace, who eight years ago helped to launch and then nurture the original 3am column, so he should know what he is doing.
The girls will be fighting for showbiz supremacy with the Sun, which shocked showbiz reporters by turning Bizarre very blokeish when Gordon "prime minister of showbiz" Smart took over in December. (I am not joking, I got emails).
Could I just point out to all three of you that what us readers are really hankering for are entanglements with celebrities. Thus Danielle's revelation that she dressed up as a waitress to serve Wayne Rooney's team mates at Coleen McLoughlin's birthday and Clemmie's confession that she once had to swim away from the Thai police after trying to get into Kate Moss's beach party, are welcome.
Gordon, can you match this? Battering your eyelids at Kay Burley on Sky News of an afternoon during a live cross to Wapping is not going to cut it, I'm afraid. Plus, that item on how Kate Moss loves to cook...zzzzzzz.
When it launched in 2000, 3am hit the mood of the times and was a phenomenon. But that was then and now - everybody is doing it, whole magazines such as Now and Heat are devoted to covering celebrities.
It is near impossible for today's columns to have the same impact as the original 3am. One thing is for certain, huge scoops in Bizarre and 3am will guarantee everybody's attention. I'm not arguing that the plethora of gossip mags means that 3am needs reinventing.
It just needs to be bloody good.
