As someone who believes in “then they lived happily ever after”, it breaks my heart when love just dies and marriages just end. Don’t get me wrong, I am not anti-divorce or anything, but as a hopeless romantic at heart, I wouldn’t let go of the one, would you?
In reality, however, it does happen because people have to leave when things become unbearable. When Reddit user sakiliya asked, “Divorcees who were married over a decade: what ended your marriage?”, people freely shared their stories. From heartbreaking to frustrating, we have compiled the best ones for you. Just scroll down to check them out!
More info: Reddit
#1
I got tired of seeing our money being spent at the racetrack, treating his friends to drinks at the bar- and he was extremely verbally a*****e to me when he drank-, and his mistress, we had a real trifecta of reasons. 14 years married, I got the house, and the mortgage.
He married the mistress, that marriage lasted two years, and then wanted to " come home and he promised he'd do better. " By then I was sooo happy he was gone I thought it was pretty funny. He didn't appreciate being laughed at. .
Image credits: Any_Assumption_2023
#2
First 8 years were great. Then she got weird. What she herself had called an amazing marriage suddenly wasn’t great. She rewrote history. Blamed me. I got us in counseling. Spent vast sums of money, made all the changes she wanted. It was a year of hell. Then the counseling worked. Things got better. Then one day 11 years in she gave me a big hug, said she loved me, and said she needed to run to the grocery store. A few minutes later the door bell rang and I was served papers.
Long story short her lawyer turned the divorce nasty. She demanded insanely intrusive discovery. Once she refused to retract it, I demanded the same of her. That discovery process uncovered 4 separate affairs that began at the 8 year mark.
When the settlement was finally agreed upon she changed her mind and wanted to stay married. Refused to sign the papers. I was a hard no on that and kept the pressure on.
So six figures in legal fees and seven figures in asset split later, here I am.
Image credits: Lifes_curve_balls
#3
I'm divorcing my wife because she didn’t know how I like my coffee.
I like my coffee the same way I like my women.
Without other people’s d**k in it.
Image credits: MonkeyBranchBuster
As I scrolled through the list, I noticed that infidelity was probably one of the most popular reasons for divorce. In fact, the US ranks among the top 5 countries with the highest rates of cheating, with 16% of married individuals admitting to cheating. That’s a really sad statistic, isn’t it?
Back when I was too naive, I used to think that infidelity only happens in unhappy relationships, but research shows that even people in happy relationships cheat. Sometimes it’s tied to low self-esteem or even a kind of addiction to attention or feeling wanted.
Other times, it’s more about someone’s personality, their views on relationships, or the kind of culture they grew up in, especially if being unfaithful is seen as “not a big deal” in their circle. It has also been revealed that men often cheat in more physical ways, while women are more likely to get emotionally involved with someone else.
#4
After twenty one years of marriage - twenty five as a couple, she became an alcoholic. Childhood traumas she wouldn't deal with made her become drink-dependant for the last three years of the marriage & pushed me to breaking point. Mainly because she refused to admit there was a problem. We divorced, which she did everything she could to drag out and make acrimonious. My children (now grown) came & lived with with me. She died of liver & multiple organ failure within four years of the divorce. While highly stressed at the time, the whole thing makes me sad now.
Image credits: ArithonUK
#5
After 12 years and 3 kids, I caught her having an affair.
Her response;
"Why can't you just be happy that I found someone I like?".
Image credits: AleWatcher
#6
My wife's and my marriage was pretty good. Not perfect but divorce didn't cross my mind. She got involved online with a guy she knew from her childhood. She got emotionally entangled and couldn't give it up. 29 years married and it ended in a matter of months. She's been married to him now for 2 years. I'm now engaged and will be getting married next year.
Image credits: 3literz3
A few people also mentioned alcohol use disorder (colloquially known as just alcoholism), and I think it's important to talk about it. In 2019, around 2.6 million people's passing away was related to alcohol consumption. What's more, an estimated 400 million people, or 7% of the world’s population aged 15 years and older, lived with alcohol use disorders.
Alcohol might seem fun or like a quick escape at first, but over time, it can seriously mess with your life. Studies show that it can wreck your health, drain your energy, hurt your relationships, make work a struggle, and even land you in legal or money trouble. Worst part? It can leave you feeling really low and not like yourself anymore.
But the good news is that people bounce back all the time. With some support and the right steps, you can turn things around because it’s never too late to start fresh.
#7
I was married for almost 13 years and we got divorced cuz we just fell out of love and it was time to move on. We were basically just roommates.
Image credits: dickey1331
#8
My husband started a relationship during my treatment for my brain tumor with someone from our pharmacy, started hitting me out of anger, left me and my daughters for said person, married her a week after our divorce finalized. New wife sued me for emotional distress because she was upset he was convicted of domestic battery and sued my 12 year old autistic child for emotional distress because she was “mean” to her.
Can’t make it up; lots of therapy and horrible sense of humor to survive it.
Image credits: Emergency_Formal9064
#9
We had children. It triggered his latent avoidant tendencies and he avoided me for half a decade before I was finally able to drag the truth out of him--he never wanted to be married, never wanted to be a father. He stayed out of obligation and duty but he was miserable and he took it out on me. Never the kids, *just* me.
You can feel sympathy for someone while also being betrayed on such a fundamental level that you never want to see him again. Sometimes I miss the man I married... but he never really existed, he was a mask for a guy who really ended up being a jerk.
Image credits: cloistered_around
Another issue that these divorcees faced during their marriage was physical violence. Shocking data shows that in the United States, nearly every 1 in 2 women and more than 2 in 5 men reported experiencing intimate partner violence at some point in their lifetime. As harrowing as it sounds, what can we expect from a world that is buzzing with war even at this moment?
It has been observed that this type of violence doesn’t just leave bruises; it messes with victims’ hearts, their heads, and their whole lives. It can make them feel scared, stuck, and totally drained. It can also ruin their confidence, their mental health, their job, and even their relationships with friends, family, and kids.
Unfortunately, not everyone can find a way out of this vicious cycle, and my heart really goes out to them.
#10
Our daughter was diagnosed with a terminal illness.
I discovered my partner was trying to start a new replacement family on the side.
Image credits: RetroDadOnReddit
#11
For some reasons my husband felt like hitting me anytime we had an argument, was the better way of resolving our issues, one day he hit me and I got a miscarriage, so I sued him and left the marriage.
Image credits: rosiearia
#12
We stopped being teammates and started feeling like opponents.
Image credits: MohammadAbir
People also shared other reasons, like falling out of love, going through tough health issues, money problems, struggles with mental health, or even challenges that come with raising kids. And honestly? That’s all valid. Relationships are beautiful, but they can also be really hard. And sometimes, even with all the love in the world, things just stop working.
What really matters is knowing your limits. If something starts weighing you down or making you feel like you’re losing yourself, it’s okay to take a step back. Choosing peace over pressure is not a bad thing; in fact, it’s brave.
I’m honestly so glad we’re living in a time where people aren’t judged the way they used to be for walking away from a relationship that isn’t working. Divorce isn’t a failure, it’s just another way of choosing yourself.
#13
We were married for 12 years, just had our first baby after buying our dream home. She was in a wheel chair due to childbirth complications, and I was caring for her full time and taking care of the baby.
After 6 weeks of paternal leave, I went back to work. She met some loser in an online video game and they spent all day, everyday talking. We were locked down during COVID and she never met him in real life.
I found out what was going on when the [explicit] videos she was filming of herself in our house to send to him synced to tablet we shared in the living room.
We were in divorce proceedings before our baby was 1 years old.
Image credits: haskell_rules
#14
I didn’t like the woman he started seeing.
Image credits: Interesting_Wing_461
#15
Her bipolar finally got the better of us.
I supported her through the many episodes, s*****e attempts and overspending, even the first cheating. It was still "us vs. the disease".
But when she stabbed herself in the stomach in front of our 9y.o. son, (d**g induced psychotic break during another affair with an alcoholic , it’s a long story…) I knew I had to pull the plug…
On the bright side she hit rock bottom after that and rebounded with some help from me and her family . She is marginally better now, even if I suspect she’s off her meds again and things won’t end well.
Image credits: Pippin1505
Well, dear readers, that's it from our end of the rope as we hand things over to you now. We would definitely love to hear your stories if you have any. Also, if any of these stories from the list resonated with you, feel free to share your opinions with us. Our comments section is eagerly waiting for your thoughts!
#16
She left me (M) for another woman. I don't have the parts to compete with that. But, I found out that liking women is another thing we had in common!
Image credits: Hebshesh
#17
I had planned to never get divorced! But surprise! I found out six months after the fact that he took all our savings and bought a farm. He told me I wasn’t welcome there and he might move a girlfriend in with him someday. So divorce it was.
Image credits: amyayou
#18
After 20 years being called pitiful(and the accompanying sneer) for wanting s*x with the woman I still found the most beautiful in the world. this after 5+ years of no sexual anything. a mans attitude changes when he's called pitiful by the woman he worships.
Image credits: Soledaddy873
#19
20 years. She upgraded to husband 3.0 after years of out of control spending. I put my foot down, she hit the road. Fortunately the next guy married her less than two years later, getting me out of many remaining years of "income equalization" I should really send him Christmas cards.
Image credits: dswpro
#20
There were many things but the one thing that really sticks out was he wasn’t working and I worked the second shift. I would be getting ready to go to work and he was going back to bed to take a nap. And make an a*****e comment like “nice cellulite” 🖕🏻.
Image credits: Emergency-Piano4792
#21
“It’s not working anymore, we are just too different”.
While this is very true, it wasn’t anything new. We were married for 16 years, together for over 20 and had known each other for 31 years by then. She had known me for 15 years when we got married.
Oh, it also turned out she was having an affair for at least a year and a half when we signed the papers.
So I have a slight hunch that the real reasoning was that she simply found someone better.
Image credits: _Bearded_Dad
#22
After 16 years, my first wife decided she was a lesbian. Of course, she didn’t tell me. I didn’t know until I walked in on her cheating with her best friend. I was coming in on a red eye flight, but wasn’t feeling well, so I went home instead of to the office.
Just so you know- there is life after divorce. I see people say “ we had ups and down like everyone” and that was true in my first marriage. In my second marriage - it’s only been ups. Even when we disagree, there’s never anger - just adults discussing differences of opinion.
Image credits: BionicGimpster
#23
The lack of division of labor. I did the labor, she divided the couch between her and the dog.
Image credits: BottleThen2464
#24
25 years… stayed through alcoholism and his major d**g a*******n and a few rehab stays… and the SOB pays me back by cheating with someone in our friend group and getting addicted to p**n. I was trauma bonded but finally broke free. During the divorce he wrecked on a scooter and had a TBI and our kids and his dad decided to pull the plug. I didn’t want to make that decision. God works in mysterious ways.
Image credits: External_Poet_6519
#25
My parents were married for 25 years when my mom was in a fairly serious car accident, started taking classes at the local college for the first time and then was diagnosed with breast cancer - all within 6 months. the youngest sibling was 16 and the rest of us were out of the house. my dad decided he wanted to be a kid again and cheated on my mom with his friend's wife.
they didn't actually divorce until 15 years later (so they were legally married for 40 years), but they were separated, living apart, and dating other people. They kept trying to get back together every couple of years, but one wanted fewer responsibilities, and the other wanted to be taken care of.
edit to add: it was really difficult for my siblings and I to reconcile the man we looked up to so much was the same man who broke our family. the relationship between us and our dad has never recovered.
Image credits: duchess_of_fire
#26
He had always been a*****e, but because he didn’t hit me and he loved me, I figured it was worth it. Then one day he said he wanted to hit me and he was going to hurt our dogs someday. I left for my dogs’ sake so really, they saved my life.
#27
Infidelity after many years of a dead bedroom.
She was the reason we had a dead bedroom - consistently rejecting me every time I tried to initiate - for YEARS. When she finally decided she needed a d**k, she went out and jumped on another guy's instead of mine.
#28
Letting all the small things get swept under the rug instead of working through them. Ignoring major red flags because of love. We were totally different people after 10 years of growth.
Image credits: Square-Heat-3758
#29
I got sober and realized that we didn't like each other, he didn't respect me & was verbally and emotionally a*****e towards me and I didn't want to be unhappy for the rest of my "new" life.
Image credits: SignificantHair4078
#30
He was nicer to other people, constantly blamed me for his issues, didn't take any accountability and I was over it. I didn't want to live the remainder of life that way.
Image credits: Humble_Ad4397
#31
I honestly dont know. Everything was great. Then all the sudden, my wife changed 180°.
I dont know what i did, but she told me “i cheated on you while we were married, so i could feel better about cheating on you in Highschool”.
#32
We got pregnant …but the baby was black (we’re both white).
#33
He decided his relationship with alcohol was more important than his relationship with me, and he thought it’d be fun to solicit female attention via Facebook and dating apps.
So I left him to it.
#34
After 12 years she decided that "in sickness and in health" no longer applied to her.
Image credits: RealSharpNinja
#35
No dates no vacations no solo time together no compliments no romance. I just slowly over time lost the energy to try to fight for us, I can’t live the rest of my life without ever being taken dancing….
Image credits: FleurSea
#36
18 years. Wife’s infidelity. A man that makes money cannot always be home.
#37
I grew. He didn't. Our original relationship dynamic didn't work anymore.
