30 Men Reveal The Things About Women They Had No Idea About Before They Got Into A Relationship

There’s a lot we don’t know about people until we spend more time with them. There are a ton of surprising things you can learn about the folks you care about—and human beings in general—when you see how they behave when they let their guard down. It turns out all of us have lots in common, something many of us probably already suspected.

In a viral discussion on the popular r/AskMen online group, men revealed all of the things that they didn’t know about women before they started going out. Their answers were incredibly honest and a great antidote for anyone who’s prone to putting others on a pedestal while dating. Scroll down to read these internet users’ personal experiences.

Bored Panda reached out to the author of the viral thread, redditor u/_Red_User_. They were happy to answer our questions and to share their thoughts about proper communication in relationships. Check out their insights as you scroll down.

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The author of the thread, redditor u/_Red_User_, told Bored Panda that the idea to ask the question on Reddit came to them when they were learning new facts about their and their partner’s gender in a relationship.

"I was asking myself what others never knew before," the OP told us, adding that they weren't expecting the discussion to get as much attention as it did.

"I think there are many assumptions about women that are not true in the end. Some of those might scare some men. But in the end, they are true for some women but not all," the redditor said.

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In the thread author's opinion, men and women can sometimes communicate differently, and it's important to embrace and celebrate these differences.

Case in point, redditor u/_Red_User_ pointed out that many men rush to ‘solve’ their partners’ problems when they should instead consider actively listening to them and simply hearing them out.

“Women sometimes just want to complain, whereas men tend to think logically. If she has a problem, she might expect some [comments like] ‘it’s terrible’ and ‘not your fault’ or something. He instead might think about a solution when she is not interested in solving the issue."

The OP urged all couples to talk to each other, not just about other people. "Don't make assumptions, but talk with each other about issues." The redditor noted that some couples also face social pressure from their friends. However, just because the people around you think a certain way doesn't mean it's the truth.

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“You never know the thoughts and intentions of your partner, so don’t guess but talk,” they told Bored Panda.

According to u/_Red_User_, people should never judge another couple's lifestyle. They explained that, in their opinion, nobody should be forced to do something just because of their gender.

"It's wrong to say women have to work or they have to stay at home. Some women prefer a and some b. And some do both. It’s great if men want to (and can) provide enough money so their partner has no need to work and can spend time with [the] kids. But there shouldn't be a duty to stay at home or be forbidden to work. Equally, the man can stay at home if both [partners] want that."

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Like it or not, most of us have a public persona (or a few), as well as a private one. We behave slightly differently depending on who we’re interacting with. So we might act one way at the office. We’re someone slightly different in front of our friends. We probably wouldn’t speak to our parents the way we did with our pals or coworkers. And we’re someone else entirely when we’re trying to impress someone.

However, slowly, we let our guard down around people. It takes time and trust to do so, but we let them in. If they’re special enough, we show them what we’re like when we’re alone, without any pretense.

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That raw image of what we’re like when nobody’s around can gently shock people, even if they behave similarly in their own private lives. This reaction can be at least partly explained by the expectations that people place on their partners when they first start dating.

They might start idealizing them and putting them on a pedestal. Focusing on other people’s positive qualities can be a good thing, but it can be very unhealthy if you completely ignore their negative aspects as well. If you hype yourself up over dating someone, you’re not doing yourself any favors.

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For one, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment because you will eventually realize that they’re not a ‘perfect’ partner or human being (nobody is). On the flip side, you’re also adding a ton of pressure on your date to behave a certain way. It can be very frustrating when you feel forced to live up to someone’s impossibly high expectations. It’s good to have standards, but keep your expectations somewhat realistic!

Meanwhile, if you want to learn more about your partner, there is no better alternative than open and honest communication. You won’t form a deep connection with them if you’re not willing to talk about the mundane stuff and their quirks, not just exciting global topics and other people.

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The key to good communication is learning to listen to what the other person is telling you. If you’re simply waiting for your turn to speak, you’re doing something wrong.

For some more surprising things that men learned about women only after they got into relationships, check out Bored Panda’s previous feature.

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That when they vent, the solution is sometimes just to listen- That they often feel obligated to do stuff they don’t want to do by their family, friends and just random people and they feel really guilty if they don’t do those things. - That they feel a lot of pressure to look and act certain ways. Getting dressed can be really overwhelming sometimes. - That they are often so critical of themselves that you’d be shocked to hear their inner voice. - That the shower can never be hot enough. - That they need way more sleep than us. - That they care a lot about detail and want to share that detail with you when they debrief the day. - That they have an insatiable appetite for being held, cuddled, and snuggled. - That giving them regular orgasms is great for their mood and the relationship in general. - That a fridge full of food will be somehow calming to them despite the grocery bill being soul crushing to you. - That their feet are always various levels of cold ranging from corpse-dug-up-from-snowdrift cold to deep-sea-tuna-on-ice cold. - That the facts of a situation will be interpreted in different ways depending on their feelings at the time. - That they strangely stay friends with other women who are lowkey mean to them. - That they remember every f****d up thing you’ve ever done or said. - That taking the pill can really mess with them. - That it isn’t enough just to do things for them because they ask you to. You need to want to do it without them having to ask. That’s how they know you care.Y’all like crime shows too damn much it makes me nervousThat taking the pill really is a wild ride and can seriously impact some girls' behavior and wellbeing.The insane cost of feminine hygiene products or makeup. I wonder about the numbers because the production costs can’t be that high. Also why don’t women’s clothes sizes make any sense at all? It doesn’t seem standardized or rational within a given store/brand let alone across brands on the same clothing type. I can buy a polo or tee shirt in my size and most of the ones I like, regardless of brand or store, fit me pretty well and about the same. I had no idea women’s clothing had so much variation.I learned how much I like being a man. I mean, having a period sounds terrible. Childbirth is something I’m glad I’ll never experienceI’ll add something I don’t see that I didn’t understand: Childhood trauma. I understand that this can happen to men, but the number of women I’ve had serious relationships with who ended up struggling with severe trauma when they were younger has been eye-opening. It dictates parts of the relationship you don’t even realize. Certain things you do can set off triggers that you may have never been aware of. You can end up doing damage to someone who you deeply care about by accident. It could be a simple touch when trying to initiate and without appropriate definitions or communication it can be really devastating. Then, you begin to piece things together: “Oh, now I get why she used sex to get my attention.” “Oh, now I understand why this person has no interest in sex” It’s just something that’s really personal and difficult. Something people don’t realize they’ve dealt with. And then they need to battle through it and try to heal themselves. It’s just something I didn’t ever deal with as a guy and I’m both selfishly thankful I’m a man and heartbroken these things happen.Evidently, you're not supposed to put bras in the dryer. They turn into shrinky d***s. And bras are expensive to replace.I had no idea what a pain periods and the cramping and the mood swings were until I married a girl who had a bad week every single month and then menopause….omg! I’m glad I’m a guy.How much toilet paper they consume. When I was living alone an 8 pack of toilet paper lasted me like a year. Once she moved in I was buying at least an 8 pack a month. You've been warned.The amount of hair bands that will appear out of nowhere. They multiply all over the place!The smell of period blood and it can fall out in clots.That they can fart, and if they're sitting the right way, it travels forward, up through their labia, and comes out the front side. This took me a long time to get over learning.How much they get “hollered at.” Not sure if it’s universal but def seems to be the case in a big city.They can also be slobs and (while the human body and bodily processes aren't gross) they can be just as gross as men.How sentimental they are. Buying flowers is an odd exercise to me since I don’t *get* it, but my partner’s been moved to tears multiple times because of it.How much what dream they had that night changes their entire day.how long it takes to put on makeup, shower, and get ready to do anythingI remember being shocked that my first girlfriend *also* enjoyed me touching her boobs.How much they shedThe white gooy stuff that stains their underwearThey set alarms for birth control.Hair, hair everywhere.MoustachesHow often I am wrong about basically everything.I had no idea many women slather on moisturizer over most of their body after every single shower. Still pretty mind blowing tbh.A women urinates with the power of a water cannon How sacred their space is to them. In my apartment I couldn't care less where you put things as long as it makes sense. Hell, I don't even have a set place for where everything goes, and often decide to put things where they make sense at the time I'm putting them away. But in a woman's apartment, God forbid you put a brush in the comb-drawer.Fake eyelashes. I’m an idiotThey always want to be doing something. If they’re not they’re making plans for what we’re gunna be doing.