A 27-year-old nurse returned home from a trip to find himself in the middle of a financial standoff with his own mother. According to a recent Reddit post, she asked him to take out a $50,000 loan to help her pay off $19,000 in debt and start a babysitting business.
He refused. Now she's calling him disloyal.
Reddit: Don't Do It
The poster explained, "I straight up said no as she does have a spending habit and also have my own expenses to care for." He's also in the process of buying property to rent out. Still, his family is pressuring him to at least take out $20,000 for her.
"I’ve been told that she will pay me back," he wrote, "but I know that my mom is terrible with managing money."
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He also said the emotional manipulation started right away. “She has told me that she feels betrayed and that I do not trust her, which feels like I'm being gaslighted and guilt-tripped into doing this for her.”
Commenters on Reddit were nearly unanimous: Stand your ground.
“Not doing it is the correct option,” one person said. “Anyone that comes to you and says you need to do it, tell them they can do it if they feel so strongly.”
Another added, “If she can't pay back her loans to a company that can sue her and garnish wages, she certainly wouldn't pay back a pushover family member.”
One person cut straight to the point: “$20K loan will compound and ruin your financial life for the next 5 years.”
Others shared personal stories about being pressured to financially support parents and how it wrecked their credit and relationships. Several said they ended up cutting their parents off completely to protect themselves.
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Another top comment warned, “You can always identify a boundary-stomper because they are the ones who act like victims when you set and actually enforce boundaries.”
Many offered suggestions instead of money. A few said they'd be willing to pay for a bankruptcy lawyer or help a parent sell valuables, but not take on debt in their name.
"Offer to help her with budgeting and financial planning and support to limit spending," one Redditor wrote. "Family that is encouraging you to take out a loan to ‘help her' is wrong. Doing so does not help her—it continues the problem."
The original poster made it known that he's staying firm: "I am going to stand my ground and not do it."
And most of Reddit agrees he should.
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Image: Shutterstock
