Article created by: Monika Pašukonytė
In dating, like in friendship, one cannot know another person after just meeting them; however, certain things may stand out, minimizing or even sweeping one's interest. This may happen more intuitively, yet by trying to name red flags in dating, one gets the opportunity to grow more conscious of what they (do not) value in another person or people in general and maybe even adjust their preferences.
On the other hand, reading about major flags in dating as listed by men answering one Redditor’s question: “Men, what is a deal-breaker for you in modern dating?” one may compare them to one’s own deal-breakers, get a clue of what other people are (not) looking for in dating and maybe find some things to look out for.
Any kind of ultimatum, like: "It's me or your cats/friends/hobbies." They were here before you, and they will be here after you.
Lack of empathy/ compassion
Dishonesty is my main one. If you can't trust them, then there's no reason to even date them because you're always going to worry about what they're doing when they're not with you.
If she's an influencer or has plans to become an influencer.
Having a sugar baby or entitled mentality. Or if I see the line " can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve the best".
Screen addiction is a turn off.
Inability to say sorry or own up to their mistakes.
Flakyness.
Being overly dramatic and loud.
Very religious. Poly (just not for me). Lack of communication.
Honestly, anything to the effect of "men are trash" or "I hate that I'm attracted to men" in their dating profile.
Like, I get it. A lot of women have had a lot of really bad experiences with men. And at the same time, I'm not here to fix anyone and I really hate being treated like "one of the good ones." If you really hate men to the extent that you need to declare it on your dating profile, you should probably be working that out with a therapist.
Inability to acknowledge being wrong. Being able to do that and grow with me as an individual was literally one of the biggest things that led to me falling in love with my current gf. I will never again EVER be in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t have that quality because seeing how much better this relationship has been than any of my previous, I just can’t ever go back.
Flakyness. If they keep canceling plans, I'm out.
Lack of communication skills! I need engaging conversation! I don't want to talk to a wall😅
If she’s rude or mean.
Smoking and lack of accountability and inability to learn from mistakes.
General punctuality, though this is a state with friends too.
If you're going to be late, let me know when you know. If you live 30 minutes away and text me you are leaving 5 minutes before we are due to meet, you knew you were going to be late 25 minutes ago.
It's a small thing but I've known people like that and I've waited in the cold enough.
Social media. I don't want every waking moment of my relationship plastered on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. I dated one girl for a year who didn't have a smartphone, didn't have internet at her house, and didn't even own a TV. It was surprisingly nice. Honest. When we spent time together, we spent our time together.
For me, when I was dating, it was women who didn't know how to cook or clean. That may seem a bit misogynistic, but I am someone who cooks and cleans and can keep a house. The number of people I would go on dates with that didn't have those skills was a bit baffling to me. How do you feed yourself? Is it takeout every night? I wouldn't expect a potential partner to be unable to do household things that I do, nor one that was unwilling to share the burden of keeping a place together.
I have had a few women I met online start talking about how supportive I can be for their children before I even met them. Like if you just shopping for a replacement for their non-existant Dad I am out.
This sounds dumb, but if she's not into me, I'm not interested. If she plays hard to get, I'm done. I'm not playing the games anymore. You'd be surprised how often a women has SAID she was into me, but won't do anything at all to act like she is.
Someone with no hobbies or no passion for anything at all
Anything along the lines of “being a boss babe” and “you better keep up with me”
Ugh
Not understanding or working toward improving their own mental health.
Inconsistent communication style, just feels like I’m being strung along. Also don’t date single-mothers, I’m sure they’re nice and the kids are great but I’m just not in a place in my life where I’m comfortable with that kind of situation.
Wanting to continue living as though they're single but still have the emotional fulfillment of a relationship.
Height preferences on dating profiles/bios. It's just rude. I cant help being 5 7, I have been this height for ages. I get preferences and stuff, but seeing 'if you're under 6 foot don't bother' on the reg is a bit of a downer.
Also, horses. I went out with a horse-y girl, and it was a car crash, I don't blame the actual horses, but horses make girls get a bit weird. If you know you know.
If she’d leave me for behaving like her.
That covers most of them.
I like to be a gentleman, but I want that to be something that is appreciated, not expected or demanded
